773niki

Memorial Day Weekend. Full of food and booze. And for some reason, I’m feeling ok with it.
I drank my 20s away and have been on/off the wagon for the past 2 years after a stint in rehab. (four months on, 2 week binge, start over…)
Anyway, I found out what the meaning of progressive is – never again was I able to catch that buzz I originally fell in love with.
I’m 22 days sober today and I plan to keep growing that number. No more off the wagon for me as my last binge was the farthest rock bottom I can stand.

During my last binge, I got into a pretty heated argument with my mom and my sister about things that happened in the past. Long time ago. I basically brought up some stuff I knew would **** them off, but it’s always kinda been a “demon” of mine and drinking allowed me the “balls” to ask my mom about it. I knew I would be burning a bridge, but I figured, hell, I’m 30 years old and I want the truth!

Well, I haven’t talked to either of them since that conversation over 3 weeks ago. I’m sure they knew I was drinking. They know when I’m drinking – hell, anyone knows when I’ve been drinking. I don’t know what to do about this rift in our relationships. It’s really weighing on me. I hate not talking to them, but I also really think that my questions, while part of the past, were legitimate questions that have been hanging on me for years and years.

I don’t feel like I want to apologize for asking, but I can apologize for the manner in which these questions came out. I’m just really afraid they are going to tell me to **** off. And I know this sounds bad, but I’ve had my sister’s password for her email because I set it up for her years ago. When we get into these types of fights, which is often (we really don’t see eye to eye and it is not always about my drinking career) I sometimes would look in her email about what she was saying about me. I know, I know. It’s bad. But, unfortunately, both my mom and my sister have said so many hurtful things about me and I can’t tell them how I know but this is another reason why I feel so much anger toward them.

I guess I’m not sure what to do. Without them, I feel less stress. My sister is a very selfish person (her way or the highway, no ifs/ands/buts about it. My mother loves to live in denial and is depressed and anxiety ridden all the time). I don’t know. I have a 6 month old nephew that I miss like crazy but according to her email, she’s “done with me.” Wrote me off. And it’s all because I questioned things that happened when we were growing up.

Blah, I don’t know. Any advice when it comes to dealing with these types of situations?

doggonecarl

Congrats on 22 days sober.

No advice for healing the rift with your family. However, I think you should put your sobriety first, before anything else in your life, and distance yourself from anything that can threaten it. Everything. Even family.

When you are sober a year, and when your actions prove this to your family, maybe the rift will heal, maybe not. If not, I think you will be in a much better position to patch things up with your family than you are today.

But only if you are sober. That has to be #1.

Jasmine1313

Perhaps a counselor could help you deal with some of these questions/concerns. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot.

2granddaughters

The most difficult person I have to handle is ME.

All the best.

Bob R

Anna

It sounds to me like your mother and your sister cause a lot of pain in your life. You said they always say hurtful things about you. They don't want to address concerns that you have about your relationships with them. They disregard your feelings. So, I wonder why you are so anxious to reconnect?

I understand you miss your little nephew and maybe in time, you can make arrangements to spend some time with him. Just because people are family members doesn't give them the right to step on you. You say you feel a lot less stress without them, so go with that. Stress-free is a wonderful goal.

Jeni26

I know I've had to take a big step away from my family as the dynamics cause me lots of stress.
Stress and resentment make me want to drink.
Not drinking and learning to live my life sober has become my priority and I am a much calmer happier person as a result.
Good luck to you x

MesoFreak

A while ago I decided that I would avoid my family as much as I could, with the exception of my mother and sister. My family has all these freaking issues man! I have an uncle that does not speak to any family member except for us. I wondered why??? BUt honestly I see it now for the best; I have enough stress in my life to deal with on my own, dealing with unnecessary stress they bring to me is something I don't have to deal with. So, I don't want to see them for a while. The exception is my mother, my sister, and my uncle. Other than them I chose to not be bothered by them.

Focus on you! In this life we are number one in our life, or at least we should be. I hope the best for you.

choublak

Quit reading your sister's emails, it is only making you upset and they're not meant for you to read anyway.

Mizzuno

I hear ya on the family issues. Are we from the same family? I wish I had something to say that would help. Coming from a crazy family situation I don't feel like I can say anything. I just wanted to let you know that I hear ya and It will all work out. Even if the "work out" isn't what we had hoped for.

IndaMiricale

Well I hope this Labor Day Weekend had a different outcome.. All can do is You and your part , cant hold and do other peoples inventory that will drive you crazy..