How Do You Makw Atonement When You're Guiltly Of An Illness - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How Do You Makw Atonement When You're Guiltly Of An Illness


Talking to my sister about my mom yesterday who is suffering from old age. OK really weird, my sis just called. Am I okay. I need to be for mom. How do you explain you are sober to someone? its like don't do something to hurt mom. Well that's not why i'm a drunk, to hurt. mom. What i appreciate about SR, its a family feels the dis-ease. maybe its about trust. Myself, do i make it though the day, maybe about family, do they trust me? I'm rambling and taking time to write this because I know there are people who understand. I can be addicted but sober. I live in Nevada. One block from a bar and casino but don't need to walk there. But there are times I want to. Just rambling, just needed folks who understand...
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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just not drinking isn't treating alcoholism; the person still suffers from untreated alcoholism, they are just not drinking. go back to those meetings and look for a sponsor!

you can do this!

Love & hugs,
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm not guilty of 'having an illness'...I am guilty of doing some pretty messed up stuff back then tho...I know why people looked at me askance for a while

I really believe the best amends are unspoken ones...we can get our reputations back Fitz, and people will trust us again...

true, some people might hold out, we may not be able to reconcile with all the people we want, but I'll take my lumps and give thanks for this second chance at life...and at doing things right

you're doing good stuff Fitz

D
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Suger Bear and Dee, you guys are so cool. I was on a pitty pot. just need to rember to flush when I get off.
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Old 08-28-2012, 04:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm not guilty of 'having an illness'...I am guilty of doing some pretty messed up stuff back then tho...I know why people looked at me askance for a while

I really believe the best amends are unspoken ones...we can get our reputations back Fitz, and people will trust us again...

true, some people might hold out, we may not be able to reconcile with all the people we want, but I'll take my lumps and give thanks for this second chance at life...and at doing things right

you're doing good stuff Fitz

D
Beautiful, Dee! Couldn't agree more...
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Old 08-28-2012, 06:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I just spent a few days with my dad helping him (he also has aging issues) while my step-mother had surgery. It felt really good that I could be there for him. Just be around for your mom and the rest of your family will see the real you and forgive any hurt the alcoholic you caused. We do understand.
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Old 08-29-2012, 01:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
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One thing I have learned in two years of sobriety is that the disease model of addiction doesn't excuse my behavior in the eyes of others.

It's dealing with the ramifications of my addiction as it affects family and others that the steps of AA addresses.

It's hard. Steps 8 and 9 -- making a list of those we had harmed and actually making amends to them -- is the most difficult aspect of the program.

Recovery is a hard road if you want to actually get to the "recovered" part of sobriety.
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Old 08-29-2012, 01:59 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't think it's possible to make atonement, only amends.

Even if it's a monetary thing, I can pay what I once owed or took, but the person still went through the experiences that my taking put upon them. I can't give them back the peace of mind, missed opportunities, living free of resentment, etc.

And neither can people who may have done something that affected me change the past. We forgive others, and ourselves and move on.

I work on making the best choice I can today. That is the reality of what I am able to do.

I didn't get wasted to hurt other people either. I even convinced myself that I was doing it on their behalf, that it helped me "cope" and therefore be more available to take care of them. What a crock.

If I try to explain anything to anyone, it's this "I was making some awful choices back then, I really appreciate that you kept the lines of communication open with me. I'm learning to make better choices today."

I cannot make anyone trust me. But I can choose to be trustworthy.
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