Sober again after 3 year relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Gloucestershire UK
Posts: 10
Sober again after 3 year relapse
Hi to all the good people at SR.
I joined this forum in 2009 and subsequently failed my third serious quit attempt. I say failed, but that is not strictly true because that failure set me on a path of spirituality and self discovery over the last 3 years culminating in this, my fourth attempt. I had my last drink on 9th May 2012 so that makes me just over 3 months sober.
This journey of mine to explore my consciousness and find myself has given me some invaluable tools that I did not have before. As well as learning to love and respect other people, I learned to love and respect myself and with that comes forgiveness. I also learned to be grateful for everything in my life and with that comes a positive outlook. I remember how critical and negative alcohol made me so I have decided that these emotions have no place in my life anymore.
I dont hate or resent my addiction because I am not sure I would have learned as much about myself without it, so I have forgiven myself for taking 25 years of drinking to finally work it all out.
I appreciate that I am still early into recovery but I have been here before and this is nothing like before because I never loved, forgave or respected myself before. So these are my new tools of battle. I think the odds are on me this time
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Much love and respect to you all.
Jason
I joined this forum in 2009 and subsequently failed my third serious quit attempt. I say failed, but that is not strictly true because that failure set me on a path of spirituality and self discovery over the last 3 years culminating in this, my fourth attempt. I had my last drink on 9th May 2012 so that makes me just over 3 months sober.
This journey of mine to explore my consciousness and find myself has given me some invaluable tools that I did not have before. As well as learning to love and respect other people, I learned to love and respect myself and with that comes forgiveness. I also learned to be grateful for everything in my life and with that comes a positive outlook. I remember how critical and negative alcohol made me so I have decided that these emotions have no place in my life anymore.
I dont hate or resent my addiction because I am not sure I would have learned as much about myself without it, so I have forgiven myself for taking 25 years of drinking to finally work it all out.
I appreciate that I am still early into recovery but I have been here before and this is nothing like before because I never loved, forgave or respected myself before. So these are my new tools of battle. I think the odds are on me this time
.Much love and respect to you all.
Jason
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Water's Edge
Posts: 239
Jason, Great that you have been sober over 3 months and are in such a good place with your thoughts. Your post was inspiring to me, particularly about forgiving yourself for having taken so long to get where you are.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Hi from a fellow Glos person!
Congrats on being sober over 3 months I'm still working on the love/respect myself thing and on forgiving myself, but I'm getting there. Glad you've got to that point - it must be a very wonderful place to be in!
Congrats on being sober over 3 months
I'm still working on the love/respect myself thing and on forgiving myself, but I'm getting there. Glad you've got to that point - it must be a very wonderful place to be in!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Jason)) - Congratulations on 3 months!! Like you, I have found I don't really resent/regret my addiction. Okay, yes...it led to a lot of consequences, some I am still dealing with 5+ years later, some I will deal with forever.
On the other hand, I have learned so much and I am quite sure I would not be the person I am, today, had it not been for what I went through. I've had my ups and downs in recovery. Thing is, even the worst of the downs, my mind said "just get me to SR, I'll be okay".
I've been through 2 robberies, a pistol-whipping the 2nd one, loss of loved ones, now dealing with unemployment and living at home at the age of 50, but honestly? I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have hope of getting a job and my own place. I have peace of mind. Yes, I still have times where my brain says "wanna be NUMB" but I started at the beginning of my recovery...when those thoughts came up? I'd say "not an option..next" and "next" meant distract myself.
Not sure how long it took, but now I find myself at "next" without even realizing I had the "GET NUMB" feeling.
Recovery isn't always easy, but it's way better than when we were using. SR has been a huge help for me when I'm feeling low. I read a lot...stories of those who are still struggling or went back out. I don't miss that, I don't want that.
You are doing great..keep it up
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
On the other hand, I have learned so much and I am quite sure I would not be the person I am, today, had it not been for what I went through. I've had my ups and downs in recovery. Thing is, even the worst of the downs, my mind said "just get me to SR, I'll be okay".
I've been through 2 robberies, a pistol-whipping the 2nd one, loss of loved ones, now dealing with unemployment and living at home at the age of 50, but honestly? I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have hope of getting a job and my own place. I have peace of mind. Yes, I still have times where my brain says "wanna be NUMB" but I started at the beginning of my recovery...when those thoughts came up? I'd say "not an option..next" and "next" meant distract myself.
Not sure how long it took, but now I find myself at "next" without even realizing I had the "GET NUMB" feeling.
Recovery isn't always easy, but it's way better than when we were using. SR has been a huge help for me when I'm feeling low. I read a lot...stories of those who are still struggling or went back out. I don't miss that, I don't want that.
You are doing great..keep it up
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Well all I can say is Welcome Back Home
I wouldnt change my 20 plus years of drinking and drugging either. I also wouldnt wish the end of it on my worst enemy.
You sound good, hope you stick around and keep posting the postivity that you have.
I wouldnt change my 20 plus years of drinking and drugging either. I also wouldnt wish the end of it on my worst enemy.
You sound good, hope you stick around and keep posting the postivity that you have.
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