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Old 08-03-2012, 11:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I'm worried


About 11 months ago I started dating this girl. I was a bad alcoholic for years before meeting her. Somehow as soon as I starting dating her my drinking changed. I used to drink myself drunk whenever possible and couldn't have a healthy relationship with alcohol at all. Now I drink my 1-3 beers on rare occasions and haven't been drunk since I've been dating her. The problem is this. She is an alcoholic and extremely mean when drunk. I don't think I can take this any more. However I'm worried somehow she is what keeps me from drinking and breaking up with her will cause me to go back to my old ways. What do you guys think?
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Old 08-03-2012, 11:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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What about a third option (breaking up and not going back to drinking)?
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Old 08-03-2012, 11:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Dating a mean alcoholic is not a great recovery plan wondering1...

Sounds like you deserve better relationship wise...and if you want to stop drinking you can do better there too with some kind of a recovery programme, I think

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Old 08-03-2012, 11:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Oops! Sorry, I forgot to welcome you to the forum! Glad you're here!
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Old 08-03-2012, 11:43 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm confused... Are you not drinking as much when you're with her out of some desire to help her? You already know that a healthy relationship is probably not possible in this situation. In the long term, it cannot be good for you to be with someone with this level of addiction. I wonder if you can leave the relationship, then turn your focus immediately onto yourself. Counseling would likely help.
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Old 08-03-2012, 11:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm confused too

I really have no idea how I got a handle on my drinking. I starting dating her and it was like a light went on in my head that said you can stop after one or two. It wasn't to help her or anything like that. I just kind of happened and happened the day I started dating her.
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Old 08-03-2012, 11:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Obviously I realize I need to get out of this relationship but since I have no idea how I suddenly developed a healthy relationship with alcohol I'm worried that I won't know how to keep up the good work once she is gone.
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Old 08-04-2012, 12:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I can see being worried at the prospect of uncertainty, but the fact that you're in this unhealthy relationship says to me that you need some help. Whether you choose to seek counseling before or after you break it off, I think you would benefit from it.
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Old 08-04-2012, 12:00 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I am totally with artsouls option

And also Welcome aboard.
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Old 08-04-2012, 12:03 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Maybe you felt like you couldn't lose control because you knew she didn't have any? I was able to avoid drinking during my pregnancies - but once the pressure was off and I started drinking again, the progression continued.
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Old 08-04-2012, 01:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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It's an interesting chain of events, that's for sure. Definitely doesn't sound like a healthy relationship for you wondering1 AND it sounds like you're probably enabling your girlfriend. Not a good combination.
Perhaps instead of trying to figure out how to continue to control your drinking you can make a plan to quit all together? Or maybe you can seek help from a dependency counselor who can help you sort out the why and how of it all without the need to keep the unhealthy relationship around.
Best of luck! And please, above all, take care of yourself first!!!!
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