I'm worried
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: CO
Posts: 7
I'm worried
About 11 months ago I started dating this girl. I was a bad alcoholic for years before meeting her. Somehow as soon as I starting dating her my drinking changed. I used to drink myself drunk whenever possible and couldn't have a healthy relationship with alcohol at all. Now I drink my 1-3 beers on rare occasions and haven't been drunk since I've been dating her. The problem is this. She is an alcoholic and extremely mean when drunk. I don't think I can take this any more. However I'm worried somehow she is what keeps me from drinking and breaking up with her will cause me to go back to my old ways. What do you guys think?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Dating a mean alcoholic is not a great recovery plan wondering1...
Sounds like you deserve better relationship wise...and if you want to stop drinking you can do better there too with some kind of a recovery programme, I think
Welcome to SR
D
Sounds like you deserve better relationship wise...and if you want to stop drinking you can do better there too with some kind of a recovery programme, I think
Welcome to SR
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 332
I'm confused... Are you not drinking as much when you're with her out of some desire to help her? You already know that a healthy relationship is probably not possible in this situation. In the long term, it cannot be good for you to be with someone with this level of addiction. I wonder if you can leave the relationship, then turn your focus immediately onto yourself. Counseling would likely help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: CO
Posts: 7
I'm confused too
I really have no idea how I got a handle on my drinking. I starting dating her and it was like a light went on in my head that said you can stop after one or two. It wasn't to help her or anything like that. I just kind of happened and happened the day I started dating her.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: CO
Posts: 7
Obviously I realize I need to get out of this relationship but since I have no idea how I suddenly developed a healthy relationship with alcohol I'm worried that I won't know how to keep up the good work once she is gone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 332
I can see being worried at the prospect of uncertainty, but the fact that you're in this unhealthy relationship says to me that you need some help. Whether you choose to seek counseling before or after you break it off, I think you would benefit from it.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Maybe you felt like you couldn't lose control because you knew she didn't have any? I was able to avoid drinking during my pregnancies - but once the pressure was off and I started drinking again, the progression continued.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
It's an interesting chain of events, that's for sure. Definitely doesn't sound like a healthy relationship for you wondering1 AND it sounds like you're probably enabling your girlfriend. Not a good combination.
Perhaps instead of trying to figure out how to continue to control your drinking you can make a plan to quit all together? Or maybe you can seek help from a dependency counselor who can help you sort out the why and how of it all without the need to keep the unhealthy relationship around.
Best of luck! And please, above all, take care of yourself first!!!!
Perhaps instead of trying to figure out how to continue to control your drinking you can make a plan to quit all together? Or maybe you can seek help from a dependency counselor who can help you sort out the why and how of it all without the need to keep the unhealthy relationship around.
Best of luck! And please, above all, take care of yourself first!!!!
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