IndaMiricale

Oh my god the itching. My foot would itch for almost 2 weeks. I forgot about it, thank you for the reminder. And lets never do that again.

artsoul

Welcome to the posting side of things! It helps so much to have company as we learn how to live sober. How are you doing today? Like the others have said, take things as they come and stay strong!

Silence12

Hi, I'm okay thanks for the concerns. Had about four hours sleep in the end, so I can't complain really - just hot and itchy all night, I'm sure it'll subside.

I'm really achy all over this morning which isn't great, but that could be either the withdrawals or just a rough night's sleep I suppose.

My eyes feel very sensitive and bloodshot - and, of course, I'm looking in and seeing traces of jaundice - I keep telling myself I'm overreacting and to at least give myself a few days to clear up physically and mentally before consulting medical advice, if still needed.

freshstart57

It helped me to make a big effort to rehydrate and flush. I ate a lot of fresh fruit, supplemented B vitamins and milk thistle for my poor liver, and melatonin an hour before jammies time. I stayed away from the paracetamol / acetaminophen out of respect for my liver, but advil helped with the headaches. Probiotics eased the bloating and cramps and helped repopulate my abused digestive system.

Standard Dr. disclaimer is that I am not one, I don't even remotely look like one. So, ask your Dr. if this advice might be right for you. Seeing a Dr. sooner is always advised over the alternative.

You can start paying attention to your body now, Silence. Time to reconnect with it and treat it gently and with respect.

Silence12

I agree with you about the tablets - I try to avoid them at all because I'm aware of how easy it is to get hooked and the long term damage they can do.

As I said earlier, I have a doctor's number in my bedside cabinet and have it there just in case - I don't want to sound too optimistic, but the chances are things will clear up in the next few days, they have before - of course that doesn't mean anything but you get where I'm coming from.

On the positive side I'm eating better already, my indigestion seems to be going and I'm drinking lots of teas/water. I think it's normal for one to be paranoid when coming on such a journey, I'll give it a few days and see how things go, journalling on here no doubt.

Silence12

I've come to the conclusion that the pain that I'm feeling in my muscles must be a coincidence - it wasn't like this was one massive last bender that left me in this state or anything, not that I'm condoning it, I feel it must be a virus or something just hitting around the same time - perhaps karma, eh?

The pain is pretty much everywhere, in the top and bottom of my legs, my back, my arms - I think it's just something I'll have to ride out over the next couple of days.

Other than that, I think - touch wood - that the itching is beginning to fix itself and I'm just going to focus on continuing to look after myself for today. (Un)Fortunately I don't have much to do today.

flachead

The pain is pretty much everywhere, in the top and bottom of my legs, my back, my arms - I think it's just something I'll have to ride out over the next couple of days.

This happened to me as I was going through WD for sure, and ride it out I did, and it does get better!

Silence12

Night of Day 2 - pains have yet to subside but feeling generally better in myself, hoping to get some sleep. Thanks, night all.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Silence

I hope you feel better soon x

Silence12

Night 3.

It's incredible how much better I feel now compared to just three nights ago. I was in bed after my last ever drinks of alcohol, sipping on milk to keep the acid reflux away, with my heart pounding away at my chest far too fast. I drifted in and out of sleep all that night knowing that the next morning was going to be, and had to be, the new start.

And here I am.

I'm reflecting because a long time ago I read that if you give anything up, the first three days are the worst to get through. I don't know how true that is and I don't know what to expect. Does anybody remember what Day 4, 5, 6 etc. were like?

Onwards and upwards.

Dee74

My first week (or two) was pretty hard, but days 4-7 were definitely better than days 1-3

D

Silence12

Just checking in on here on Day 6.

Rereading my earlier posts - it feels scary and sad at how bad I was feeling, but it's definitely cathartic to remember all of that.

Physically, I feel fine. Not drenched in energy or bouncing off the walls, but fine nonetheless. No more aches, don't feel grubby and dirty, no more itching. A strange thing I've come to notice - I think there was a dull pain on my right side, liver surely, that I've never really paid attention to. I know that sounds strange, and it may be purely psychological, but it kind of feels like both sides of my body and in alignment for the first time in a while - it's strange because it never felt "weird" before, but it feels "right" now. Maybe just giving my liver some relief has worked wonders already.

I do still worry, however. I know that I've been in this position before many times and have always ended up drinking again, worried because it's never been a drink that I've needed - just thought, what can it hurt? Stupid, because I'd wake up five days later in shame and misery.

I'm just trying to keep going. Unfortunately, I'm not working currently - so I have a lot of free time on my hands, which can work for or against sobriety I would guess. I am trying to keep busy though, I go back to college next month and could and should get a head start on that - as well as even the most menial of jobs that can keep me busy or, dare I say it, spending time doing something that I actually enjoy instead of wasting away hours, days, weeks, months, years drinking.

Thanks everyone.

lilyrosemary

Hi. regarding forgiving yourself...what i have experienced is this: i have done some really bad things, trust me. in my old life, before i began a new life and am trying to follow God, which subsequently led me to quit drinking, the things i did to myself, to other people, to my kids were wrong, selfish, bad, unhealthy, and some disturbing and sick. as i have progressed with my new life, i can forgive myself for every single thing i have done, because i know in my heart that these things will not be repeated. and given the opportunity to right a wrong, i will. and i feel i have been living life 180 degrees from where i was. knowing that these wrongs will never be repeated, i can forgive myself. i dont think about it at all. i try to live a life that proves i am new. as far as amends go, it was one of the best healing things i could have done, for myself, and most of the time, the other person was touched, BUT everyone's different. God bless.

Silence12

Day 7. End of week one, start of the rest of my life.

Oh the urge came on tonight - out of nowhere exactly as I'd expected. I was feeling pretty down, I'd had a pretty unproductive day and was thinking of throwing it all away - but I guess if I stayed sober, in some way it's been productive. I was thinking towards Friday and the weekend and how I have no plans and nothing to do - I'll end up by myself for a lot of it and I've been around people the last few days, I think that's a lot to do with it. If I'd drank, I'd have been alone but in oblivion for the next few days. Obviously, I don't want that, my AV does.

Anyway, it passed, that's the main thing.

On the whole, I'm feeling pretty good. I wish I could carry around a bottle of what I was feeling last week for times when I go weak temporarily.

No aches, no sickness, I look and feel a little better I think - and I can sleep! Well, ish.

Thanks everybody on here - I truly appreciate it and have no intention of letting go of this again.

Silence12

Hey guys, just checking in on the night of Day 10. Nothing much new to add - one thing I'm trying to keep in mind is when I have a day that isn't as productive as others, it's no excuse to get wasted out of boredom. For example, yesterday on Friday I was out of the house for around 14-16 hours spending time with people I know and having a good time, alcohol free. Then Saturday I was alone - all day - in the past that's where I'd drink out of loneliness and boredom and convince myself to "start again" on Sunday. Today, I had a quietish day but spent some time with a friend this evening.

It's not perfect, but it's definitely getting easier - the cravings are less frequent, but I'm taking nothing for granted. Thanks again for all the support so far in this thread.

freshstart57

Good to hear about your progress, Silence12, it is very comforting to know that you are finding your way, seeing a new rhythm to things.

Are you finding that things are almost blindingly clear and intense now? Sights, sounds, reactions, emotions, all turned up to 11? This is what let me know the extent to which I had been shutting everything down with my drinking. I got so that I didn't want to miss anything happening anymore, no more fog for me thank you.

Silence12

Hey freshstart,

Sounds is a strange one. I remember vividly walking to get some alcohol a couple of months back. I had to have my headphones in to take my mind of the walk and the anxiety - a sign things weren't right, you'd have thought - and the music got to me, it sounded clear, but alcohol improves the music, right? Wrong. So I ploughed through and got the drink and there went another night.

Since getting sober, I feel I've reacquainted a love with music to an extent. It does sound clearer, and it can "get to you" in a way that it can't when intoxicated, to allow oneself to feel those feelings again.

Emotions are still a little all over the place I think. The one thing I've noticed is I can take a minute to not react now. If something annoys me, I just tell myself to take a moment and carry on. Not all the time of course, but I guess I still need to work on that!

I'm not sure if my reactions have improved, but I think I'm mentally stronger academically and in terms of problem solving.

Listen, in general I feel better, there's no doubt about that, I just know that I've felt like this before and it's all dissipated - and for absolutely no trigger or reason at all. Oh, it'll be different this time. ********. I just have to continue doing what I'm doing and convince myself that things will get better.

Like I say, I had a fully active and social day on Friday, for example, that would not have happened if I'd been drinking. I would have either felt like crap and not gone due to Thursday's drinking, felt anxious and uneasy with the situation until I had another drink, get too drunk and went home early, or had to get home before a certain time to make sure I had enough drink in for that night - where I would drink, alone.

It's crazy what we let it do to us.