Letting go
Letting go
I am never upset for the reason I think because I am constantly trying to justify my thoughts. I am constantly trying to make them true.
When i drink I make everything my enemy, so that my anger is justified. When I do this I wind up misusing everything in my life. My relationships, money, opportunities.
I have done this to defend a thought system that has hurt me, and that I no longer want.
I am willing to let it go.
I have realized this for years but never understood it enough to make the changes I need.
What SR has done is, in one place, presented so many ways of thinking and stories about how others face the same obstacles and overcome them. It's excelled my healing drastically. Letting me see my issues more clearly.
This is not a testimony to any perfection of abstinence here but a simple acknowledgment that I can do it. Am doing it. Getting my life back I mean.
I still feel numb when I think of many things about my life. It's hard to get back that feeling of freedom. Of trusting in myself. I suspect that's a time thing and trying to not let that drag me down or feel like something's wrong with me. Look at what I did to myself.
Some will get what I am saying and others won't. For me I need to contemplate these things to get better. Cannot think my way out of this as others here always say. That's true. But if I need a plan to get there this is part of it.
Knowing myself enough to not trick or lie.
What do they call that again? Oh yeah. Being honest.
When i drink I make everything my enemy, so that my anger is justified. When I do this I wind up misusing everything in my life. My relationships, money, opportunities.
I have done this to defend a thought system that has hurt me, and that I no longer want.
I am willing to let it go.
I have realized this for years but never understood it enough to make the changes I need.
What SR has done is, in one place, presented so many ways of thinking and stories about how others face the same obstacles and overcome them. It's excelled my healing drastically. Letting me see my issues more clearly.
This is not a testimony to any perfection of abstinence here but a simple acknowledgment that I can do it. Am doing it. Getting my life back I mean.
I still feel numb when I think of many things about my life. It's hard to get back that feeling of freedom. Of trusting in myself. I suspect that's a time thing and trying to not let that drag me down or feel like something's wrong with me. Look at what I did to myself.
Some will get what I am saying and others won't. For me I need to contemplate these things to get better. Cannot think my way out of this as others here always say. That's true. But if I need a plan to get there this is part of it.
Knowing myself enough to not trick or lie.
What do they call that again? Oh yeah. Being honest.
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