katan

"quote"
Give it a try. One of the symptoms of alcoholism is the inability to do long term, controlled drinking. Its a great way to determine if you are an alcoholic.

If you find that you cant control it or when you do drink you cant control how much you take, youre probably an alcoholic.[/QUOTE]

Personally I would love to be able to drink socially..but my reality is that once I have one drink, then I want a second one - even just a sip - not just one night, but the next night too. Then I am back to drinking every night, not just socially (I actually prefer drinking by myself). And slowly the number of drinks i have every night goes from 1 all the way to 5 or 6 or more.

So for me...I can't drink socially. I am an alcoholic. It just took me many years to figure it out.

Good luck!!

Eddiebuckle

I admitted myself into treatment, which surprised my family, friends and collaegues - nobody knew how much I was drinking (heck, most nights, neither did I). I was as open and willing as anybody there, but I harbored the very thought you did above, namely - how exactly does one live without drinking ever again? I knew that drinking would kill me sooner or later, and yet I still could not fathom such an existence. I assumed that I would spend the rest of my days wishing I could drink, but knowing that I could not.

The reality has proven to be very different, in fact the world is a different place since I quit drinking. Obviously the world hasn't changed, my perspective has changed - I am OK with myself, I actually enjoy meeting new people, I am no longer anxious and fearful.

This didn't happen overnight. The physiology of recovering from alcohol abuse takes months to complete, most of the change occurs in the first three or four months, but it takes the brain and body up to 18 months to re-establish it's baseline. It takes time, and for most people, it takes help of some form or another... be it AA/AVRT, SR, therapists, etc.

But for certain, it is doable and worth the sginificant effort it takes to get and stay sober.

Good luck!

keepfinding2

Very possible.

Hevyn

Welcome Zazzzzz. I'm glad you're questioning what drinking is doing to your life. I tried for many years to moderate what I drank, and always failed. I wanted so much for it to be possible, but every time I picked up I got drunk. I'm sure we aren't all exactly alike, but most of us are here because using willpower to control ourselves wasn't possible.

Glad you're with us - I hope it helps you to be here. You're not alone with this.

Jester1025

Welcome to SR!

If you have been drinking nearly every night for five years to the point of passing out, then I would say that toning it down to once a week will probably not be feasible for you. Have you ever tried to moderate your drinking in the past?

Live2Run25

I like what others here have suggested. Take 30 days off completely.. if you don't have problems taking those days off, you are probably fine. IF you do.. than you should probably quit drinking for good. Moderation and alcoholics, don't really jive well together.

IamDrowning

I was just wondering about what you said about being anxious around new people. Do you get anxious purely around new people or does that include new environments and even being in social situations in general?

TimW

If you're drunk every night for five years, you need a detox. Without a detox your body will be in acute withdrawal at all times minus the handful of hours you're drinking one night. Of course you could be in withdrawal then as well. Since you're body is telling itself to push alcohol out 6 days a week, it won't be able to take it in properly on day 7. The result will be a shocking headache emerging after three or four drinks.

Body can't heal drinking once a week.

Mel12

Hi Zazz,

Thank you for your message. What you said about drinking being normative for people in the 20s caught my eye. Even as a musician (with all that goes with it) I did not drink at all in my 20s and 30s. That did not stop me from being popular and "on the scene."

Ironically, it was only much later, and very gradually, that I developed a mindset of thinking one needs to have a drink in certain social settings. I joined this forum a week ago and have found it to be helpful already in giving me a new perspective.

Thanks again for writing. I am new to this also.

Mel

Alan111

I used to ask myself this question . Of course deep down I already knew the answer.

artsoul

Welcome Zazzzzz!

The mental battle does get easier as you go along.

It's downright scary at first to think about giving up alcohol completely. The first few days I had to take things a minute at a time. I thought the obsession would never leave, but it did. It just takes times, especially if we've been drinking for years.

Glad you're here! (also, I agree with Tim about getting some medical help with detox - alcohol withdrawals can be really dangerous).

freshstart57

Willpower? For me, deciding that I will never drink again, took almost no power at all, in fact it made perfect sense. Why would I choose to continue to drink? No power is required for me to stay sober - I might have a few thoughts to choose carefully, but that is pretty easy. No white knuckles here.

For me, the idea that it was going to take a lot of power to keep my vow of never drinking again was the addiction talking, trying make me think that I would fail. The whole idea of me failing at this, was just a thought. I don't have to act on my thoughts if I don't want to.

reggiewayne

If I could drink like a normal person, I'd do it every night...

chrisepic

not drinking until you pass out is socially crucial too

but honestly: I was 21 when I had realized my drinking had become unmanageable. I had only been drinking for 2 years and I wasn't even a chronic alcoholic...yet. It took 3 treatment centers and a lot of destruction over the last 12 years to finally get it: that I could not drink like normal people. I was in my 30s by the time I stopped and I was a professional DJ. Talk about socially crucial. It seemed partying was professionally crucial by this point, but that's really a subjective statement.

Being in treatment I learned, with about 20 other guys of mixed ages (between 18 and 60 years old) that the only thing that was socially crucial was being sober and that in sobriety it really is possible to have fun, make meaningful, lasting friendships, oh and the hangoverless mornings are nice too

I wish you the best. 5 years of heavy drinking doesn't seem manageable to me. Normal drinkers just don't drink like that. And if you really have been drinking like that for that long, chances are that if you try to quit there will be physiological forces at work inside you that make remaining abstinent from alcohol extremely challenging without help. I'm not saying check into treatment, but if you think you'll be able to control your drinking, you may be surprised to find out that it doesn't last. It may even last long enough for you to convince yourself you ARE normal...and that's when your drinking will slowly start to increase again.

Best of luck to you

Forward12

Simply put, no. Our minds don't work in the way a "normal" person does. We don't have a switch to tone it down, or to magically be able to drink responsibly. For the most part you only have two choices, all out drunkard or completely sober.
There really is no middle for an alcoholic.

Rory23

Socially drinking is perfectly acceptable, but if you cannot handle that and keep binge drinking then you cannot at all. I live in Wisconsin and I am 23, everyone here goes to the bar friday and saturday night. Otherwise I tend to feel socially out of the loop. I am under control and I never get wasted. I always take cab rides home. If you can ween yourself off from everyday to a few days down to one day successfully, you have already made progress. Again, this may be difficult if your history is one of drinking everyday for a long time. Give it a try, just be careful.

MyTimeNow

This has so been me on a day 8 and 9 fail. Hey it'll be once a week... Owwww that hurts! Seriously I have never felt so bad on less than half the amount I would have normally had to drink, shockingly bad. Don't want to go THERE again.