Life, it can be tough sometimes
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Life, it can be tough sometimes
First let me say it’s been a while since I have contributed, I have been reading but not posting…
I guess I need to get back in here and dig…
If I ever needed a reason to drink today I’d have one, yesterday I found out that my 16 year old daughter is pregnant, some may remember 4 years ago my 19 (now 23) year old was pregnant, I was drinking then, I said such terrible things. You see these aren’t planned pregnancies; my older daughter was in a serious relationship that I put pressure on for marriage, she is now finalizing a divorce, the divorce is worse than the pregnancy ever was.
So do I blame myself for all this? I had the talks; do we need to start putting 12 and 13 year old's on birth control these days? All I kept hearing is “There has been no sex!””
Just the other day I went to a funeral, for the first time in a long time I felt the need to drink, to put all the thoughts I was having on hold and just get plowed, now that feeling is back and stronger, after nearly 17 months sober.
Life, it can be a handful…
I’ve made a promise to me, that I would never drink again, I have pondered what it might mean if I did, I’ve broken many promises, I was a down right liar as a drunk, anything to get what I want, maybe my daughters are seeking in men the attention they lacked from me, another reason to drink right there, at least the Alcoholic Voice says it is.
But I know, Alcohol cannot “Wash away my problems”
I want to say to all of you that allow moments in life like these to tear your sobriety down that this time I am handling life’s difficult moments much better than I ever could as a drunk.
I have a 4 year old grand-baby girl that turned out to be the best thing in the world, does that mean I am glad my 16 year old is pregnant, certainly not, she hasn’t even finished school, she has inflicted financial and relationship difficulty onto herself and my wife and me, but life goes on, we live, we learn.
Life, it can be full of happiness, but sometimes we have to really look hard to find it…
I guess I need to get back in here and dig…
If I ever needed a reason to drink today I’d have one, yesterday I found out that my 16 year old daughter is pregnant, some may remember 4 years ago my 19 (now 23) year old was pregnant, I was drinking then, I said such terrible things. You see these aren’t planned pregnancies; my older daughter was in a serious relationship that I put pressure on for marriage, she is now finalizing a divorce, the divorce is worse than the pregnancy ever was.
So do I blame myself for all this? I had the talks; do we need to start putting 12 and 13 year old's on birth control these days? All I kept hearing is “There has been no sex!””
Just the other day I went to a funeral, for the first time in a long time I felt the need to drink, to put all the thoughts I was having on hold and just get plowed, now that feeling is back and stronger, after nearly 17 months sober.
Life, it can be a handful…
I’ve made a promise to me, that I would never drink again, I have pondered what it might mean if I did, I’ve broken many promises, I was a down right liar as a drunk, anything to get what I want, maybe my daughters are seeking in men the attention they lacked from me, another reason to drink right there, at least the Alcoholic Voice says it is.
But I know, Alcohol cannot “Wash away my problems”
I want to say to all of you that allow moments in life like these to tear your sobriety down that this time I am handling life’s difficult moments much better than I ever could as a drunk.
I have a 4 year old grand-baby girl that turned out to be the best thing in the world, does that mean I am glad my 16 year old is pregnant, certainly not, she hasn’t even finished school, she has inflicted financial and relationship difficulty onto herself and my wife and me, but life goes on, we live, we learn.
Life, it can be full of happiness, but sometimes we have to really look hard to find it…
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Thanks so much for your post SB - I think your last line is a very powerful statement 
I don't know what kind of mother you were? but I can definitely see what kind you are now
my wish is this grandkid will be every bit the blessing the first one was
D
I don't know what kind of mother you were? but I can definitely see what kind you are now
my wish is this grandkid will be every bit the blessing the first one was
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I'm sorry that your daughter is pregnant at 16. This will be difficult for her and for your family. However, this is your chance to be there for your daughter and for the baby-to-be. Hopefully your daughter can finish high school and continue her education so that she can make a stable home for herself and her child. Staying sober is clearly the best way to do this.
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
I'm not condoning her actions but my mom had me at 16 and I turned out really well. I'm 26, lived on my own since I was 18.. pay all my own bills. I turned out really well. She says she'd never take it back. I'm really proud of my mom. She has a full time job working for a laywer, is married, and takes care of her handicapped mother (the very mother who kicked her out when she found out she was pregnant at 16). I know it's stressful, but atleast it's a child, and not cancer, or another addiction. You have the right attitude. I wish the best for you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
somethingbetter,
You have a good attitude, and you know that drinking would be the number one worst thing that you could do right now. Maybe go for a walk, do yoga, heck - go watch tv - something to get your mind on something else.
My thoughts are with you - problems with one of my children was the biggest trigger for me. Just don't drink - you need to be as logical and reasonable as you can, and with a level playing field. Take care.
You have a good attitude, and you know that drinking would be the number one worst thing that you could do right now. Maybe go for a walk, do yoga, heck - go watch tv - something to get your mind on something else.
My thoughts are with you - problems with one of my children was the biggest trigger for me. Just don't drink - you need to be as logical and reasonable as you can, and with a level playing field. Take care.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Thanks Dee and Anna, I’m actually the father Dee , not that it matters, thanks just the same.
Live2Run25, great words, I read this quote recently, “When you think your world is falling apart, it may actually be falling in place”.
Thank you all, it’s appreciated, the 4yo grandbaby asked me today, “You remember the new baby is coming?” I smiled; the news of this little girl coming into the world when I heard about it 4 years ago was what I was so upset about.
I have a new perspective on life now, mixed feelings I guess you might say, but from here we can only move forward.
I will keep my promise to myself to never drink again…
, not that it matters, thanks just the same.Live2Run25, great words, I read this quote recently, “When you think your world is falling apart, it may actually be falling in place”.
Thank you all, it’s appreciated, the 4yo grandbaby asked me today, “You remember the new baby is coming?” I smiled; the news of this little girl coming into the world when I heard about it 4 years ago was what I was so upset about.
I have a new perspective on life now, mixed feelings I guess you might say, but from here we can only move forward.
I will keep my promise to myself to never drink again…
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