Need a good plan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 80
Need a good plan
I've spent as long as I can remember trying to cut down/quit drinking. Pretty much ever hour when I'm not at work I'm thinking about how much I want/don't want alcohol, and it's the former in the vast majority of cases. Apart from the damage I must be doing to myself, I get in some really bad situations as a result of my drinking. I've had a serious go at quitting a few times, and on both occasions only managed a few weeks.
I don't feel AA is right for me, I really don't, but I know it is a great help to a lot of people and I respect that.
So I need a plan. From my previous attempts at quitting, I think I know how I am most likely to slip up. After a few weeks I start to feel stronger, better in mind and body, but at the same time I also start to feel more and more that I can be like 'everyone else', and drink in moderation. The stronger and better I feel in myself, the more I feel I can overcome my weakness where booze is concerned. I tell myself that it never really was that much of a problem, and that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. And so I embrace it again, like an old friend, and very quickly I'm back in the grip. I'm very good at forgetting the bad episodes, and convincing myself that I'll cut down from next week.
I've tried the local counselling service, as recommended by my GP, but they recommended cutting down and focusing on why I drank too much and just dealing with this. I initially thought it was great, I had the green light to drink again, but I now know 100% that if I continue to drink then I will always end up back in this same place.
I've been sober for two days.
I don't feel AA is right for me, I really don't, but I know it is a great help to a lot of people and I respect that.
So I need a plan. From my previous attempts at quitting, I think I know how I am most likely to slip up. After a few weeks I start to feel stronger, better in mind and body, but at the same time I also start to feel more and more that I can be like 'everyone else', and drink in moderation. The stronger and better I feel in myself, the more I feel I can overcome my weakness where booze is concerned. I tell myself that it never really was that much of a problem, and that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. And so I embrace it again, like an old friend, and very quickly I'm back in the grip. I'm very good at forgetting the bad episodes, and convincing myself that I'll cut down from next week.
I've tried the local counselling service, as recommended by my GP, but they recommended cutting down and focusing on why I drank too much and just dealing with this. I initially thought it was great, I had the green light to drink again, but I now know 100% that if I continue to drink then I will always end up back in this same place.
I've been sober for two days.
Encourager In Training
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Welcome, SS!
Plenty of folks are finding their way to sobriety through Rational Recovery and other secular techniques. I encourage you to check out the "Secular Connections" area here at SR.
Glad you're here!
Plenty of folks are finding their way to sobriety through Rational Recovery and other secular techniques. I encourage you to check out the "Secular Connections" area here at SR.
Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hello Supersonic 
I too had that cutting down experience with a local alcohol counselling service. I have no idea why they do that because it doesn't work. It may just be because us alcoholics tend to buck up in fear and panic if someone tells us we have to stop completely, forever!
Which is what we have to do right? It isn't easy but there is lots of help out there. If you're lucky there may be some SMART meetings near you. And if your not a meeting type of person, have you ever looked into AVRT? That was what I used to start of with and it really did work miracles with me. Especially because I found the hardest part was just making a decision and sticking to it! Easier said than done.
I found that this place has been a great refuge for me. If I was left to my own thoughts and surrounded as I am by casual drinkers I would definitely have caved by now. Have you ever joined a 'Class of...' thread on here? That really helped keep me accountable.
Well done on 2 days x
I too had that cutting down experience with a local alcohol counselling service. I have no idea why they do that because it doesn't work. It may just be because us alcoholics tend to buck up in fear and panic if someone tells us we have to stop completely, forever!
Which is what we have to do right? It isn't easy but there is lots of help out there. If you're lucky there may be some SMART meetings near you. And if your not a meeting type of person, have you ever looked into AVRT? That was what I used to start of with and it really did work miracles with me. Especially because I found the hardest part was just making a decision and sticking to it! Easier said than done.
I found that this place has been a great refuge for me. If I was left to my own thoughts and surrounded as I am by casual drinkers I would definitely have caved by now. Have you ever joined a 'Class of...' thread on here? That really helped keep me accountable.
Well done on 2 days
x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Many of us recover without using AA. Personally, I have used books and SR to support me through many years of recover.
You might want to check out SMART at Smartrecovery.org or AVRT at Rational.org.
You might want to check out SMART at Smartrecovery.org or AVRT at Rational.org.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,959
With or without AA people recover from addiction. On one way is better that the other to live happy, joyous and free from a condition that can kill a person if left untreated. With that said, checkout these addiction recovery resources; SOS, LifeRing,
SMART, CBT, DBT and AVRT
BTW well done on 2 days sober.
SMART, CBT, DBT and AVRT
BTW
well done on 2 days sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Supersonic 
I've spent as long as I can remember trying to cut down/quit drinking. Pretty much ever hour when I'm not at work I'm thinking about how much I want/don't want alcohol, and it's the former in the vast majority of cases. Apart from the damage I must be doing to myself, I get in some really bad situations as a result of my drinking. I've had a serious go at quitting a few times, and on both occasions only managed a few weeks.
I don't feel AA is right for me, I really don't, but I know it is a great help to a lot of people and I respect that.
So I need a plan. From my previous attempts at quitting, I think I know how I am most likely to slip up. After a few weeks I start to feel stronger, better in mind and body, but at the same time I also start to feel more and more that I can be like 'everyone else', and drink in moderation. The stronger and better I feel in myself, the more I feel I can overcome my weakness where booze is concerned. I tell myself that it never really was that much of a problem, and that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. And so I embrace it again, like an old friend, and very quickly I'm back in the grip. I'm very good at forgetting the bad episodes, and convincing myself that I'll cut down from next week.
I've tried the local counselling service, as recommended by my GP, but they recommended cutting down and focusing on why I drank too much and just dealing with this. I initially thought it was great, I had the green light to drink again, but I now know 100% that if I continue to drink then I will always end up back in this same place.
I've been sober for two days.
I don't feel AA is right for me, I really don't, but I know it is a great help to a lot of people and I respect that.
So I need a plan. From my previous attempts at quitting, I think I know how I am most likely to slip up. After a few weeks I start to feel stronger, better in mind and body, but at the same time I also start to feel more and more that I can be like 'everyone else', and drink in moderation. The stronger and better I feel in myself, the more I feel I can overcome my weakness where booze is concerned. I tell myself that it never really was that much of a problem, and that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. And so I embrace it again, like an old friend, and very quickly I'm back in the grip. I'm very good at forgetting the bad episodes, and convincing myself that I'll cut down from next week.
I've tried the local counselling service, as recommended by my GP, but they recommended cutting down and focusing on why I drank too much and just dealing with this. I initially thought it was great, I had the green light to drink again, but I now know 100% that if I continue to drink then I will always end up back in this same place.
I've been sober for two days.
I wish you the best chasing the cure.
AA will be there if/when you run out of options. All you'll have to do is change your "feeling" about it.
All the best.
Bob R
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome back, Supersonic!
I can relate......When I felt good, I thought I had everything under control. It was hard to imagine I wouldn't be able to drink reasonably this next time. I just hadn't tried hard enough, right? The problem, of course, was that I believed what my addiction was telling me - it was always that NEXT drink that was going to give me what I wanted.
I finally had to face the reality of where that thinking always led me. One drink and I'm into the chase. Still, in the beginning, I'd forget 20 times a day that I couldn't drink. So, when I sensed myself drifting off into alcohol-lala-land again, I got right on SR and started reading. It worked for me.
You can do this - you've been motivated in the past - just find what works for you, keep renewing it daily, and you'll get there!
The stronger and better I feel in myself, the more I feel I can overcome my weakness where booze is concerned.
I finally had to face the reality of where that thinking always led me. One drink and I'm into the chase. Still, in the beginning, I'd forget 20 times a day that I couldn't drink. So, when I sensed myself drifting off into alcohol-lala-land again, I got right on SR and started reading. It worked for me.
You can do this - you've been motivated in the past - just find what works for you, keep renewing it daily, and you'll get there!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Supersonic,
Check out this thread : http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iscussion.html
RR really helped me. AAis a good program but it's not for everyone. Try AVRT, reqd the book, you can get it at the library if you're not ready to buy it.
Love from Lenina
Check out this thread : http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iscussion.html
RR really helped me. AAis a good program but it's not for everyone. Try AVRT, reqd the book, you can get it at the library if you're not ready to buy it.
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Welcome. I hope you find what will work for you. AVRT and SMART helped me bunches. AA was good for me as I initially wanted/needed to be around sober people with the same issue as I had. But what worked for me was to just not drink regardless of how much I wanted to. And the urges passed and became less frequent over time. Sounds simple I know, but nothing got better until I stopped picking up.
Best of luck.
Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 78
Other people quit successfully and so can you! There are lots and lots of tools and you can cherry pick (I think you can at least--I do!).
A plan is a fabulous idea! So you've quit for 2 days, you're really still probably doing through some horrible physical side-effects, remember that feeling anything is a manifestation of emotions and feeling anything can thereby influence an emotion (e.g. I feel sick, I therefore am depressed). If you can tackle the physical side of your addiction in the short term (you know, whatever works for you, hot baths, massage, holding hands with your life-partner or throwing punches at a pillow--going for a run and meditate etc etc) you will definitely feel better. Look, this is a short-term suggestion, but one I'm just throwing out there as possibly something to pop in your arsenal (seems lots of people neglect the physical/spiritual relationship)
A plan is a fabulous idea! So you've quit for 2 days, you're really still probably doing through some horrible physical side-effects, remember that feeling anything is a manifestation of emotions and feeling anything can thereby influence an emotion (e.g. I feel sick, I therefore am depressed). If you can tackle the physical side of your addiction in the short term (you know, whatever works for you, hot baths, massage, holding hands with your life-partner or throwing punches at a pillow--going for a run and meditate etc etc) you will definitely feel better. Look, this is a short-term suggestion, but one I'm just throwing out there as possibly something to pop in your arsenal (seems lots of people neglect the physical/spiritual relationship)
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