Brand New World...Everyday
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
Brand New World...Everyday
This is my first post, but I have been reading others on the site daily...TY everyone!
I am 31 years old and was an everyday drinker for the past 6+ years and pretty much daily prior to that with more frequent binge drinking episodes thrown in since I was 15. I'm 31 and have been drunk for half of my life.
I have 40 days now and everything is still very strange to me. Everyday is a challenge, but not all bad, just different. It's hard to describe, but I feel like the most ordinary experiences, interactions with people, and my daily routine are very "new".
This process has been very difficult so far (see: grief, shame, withdrawals, financial reality, reputation, lack of coping skills, no self-esteem, etc). There are times when I feel like life is not worth it and trying to live it sober is damn-near impossible, but I keep getting glimpses of a better life from the most mundane things.
I want to be sober, I just never really have been before...it's really different
Thanks SR
I am 31 years old and was an everyday drinker for the past 6+ years and pretty much daily prior to that with more frequent binge drinking episodes thrown in since I was 15. I'm 31 and have been drunk for half of my life.
I have 40 days now and everything is still very strange to me. Everyday is a challenge, but not all bad, just different. It's hard to describe, but I feel like the most ordinary experiences, interactions with people, and my daily routine are very "new".
This process has been very difficult so far (see: grief, shame, withdrawals, financial reality, reputation, lack of coping skills, no self-esteem, etc). There are times when I feel like life is not worth it and trying to live it sober is damn-near impossible, but I keep getting glimpses of a better life from the most mundane things.
I want to be sober, I just never really have been before...it's really different
Thanks SR
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome aboard jsun - congratulations on your 40 days 
I promise you things will get better - life will always have it's ups and downs but it's always better sober - and I give thanks that I've been able to experience things this way
keep at it - you won't be sorry
D
I promise you things will get better - life will always have it's ups and downs but it's always better sober - and I give thanks that I've been able to experience things this way
keep at it - you won't be sorry
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I was problem drinker from 15 , i managed to get dry last year , september , at the age of 38 .
To me , 31 sounds a great age to start working on recovering your life .
There is lots of experience and knowledge to help here , from all different kinds of people .
M
To me , 31 sounds a great age to start working on recovering your life .
There is lots of experience and knowledge to help here , from all different kinds of people .
M
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Yes, I understand what you mean completely. Everything seems new to me too, most especially my closest relationships.
My kids, my husband, my closest friends. Something has shifted in all of them. It is a bit scary and not without some angst, but they are all changing for the better. They are real now.
Congratulations on the 40 days x
My kids, my husband, my closest friends. Something has shifted in all of them. It is a bit scary and not without some angst, but they are all changing for the better. They are real now.
Congratulations on the 40 days x
Sobriety date 12/19/2011
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 409
Congratulations on getting sober. I started at 17 and it took me until I was 42 to finally get it in AA. I was ready for change, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. A light bulb went off on me this time around, and I am not going to turn off that light. I love my life again, I can see my light bulb at the end of my tunnel now. It is not a dark tunnel that feels like a hole. I am happier and more balanced than I have ever been in my life.
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Good for you for posting here. We are all here for you. this is a wonderful place for support. There hasn't been ONE day since i've been sober that I haven't visited this site.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
I have read about PAWS here and I am experiencing some of the symptoms...confusion, poor short term memory, coordination problems, but the strangest feeling I have been having is that days seem to last FOREVER. Time just seems to take much longer to pass than before.
Have any of you experienced this?
Maybe it's a good thing...idk
Have any of you experienced this?
Maybe it's a good thing...idk
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Jsun, congratulations and well done on your first 40 days, quite an accomplishment. That feeling of 'new' that you mention was sort of odd at first for me, I felt like I was looking at things through a different window. Slowly I began to engage with my life again, and stepped through that window. Not only is it better in any way you might choose, it is so much easier. It's nice on this side, and I will never go back.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Wow, well done on 40 days Jsun!
I know exactly what you mean. I felt like I was doing everything for the first time sober! And yes, the first month or so time does drag a bit. I had/have the short term memory problem and a lot of 'fog' in the second month too. It does pass but I find it difficult to know what 'normal' is seeing as I have always been a drinker. Are you getting any other support other than SR?
Welcome to the family x
I know exactly what you mean. I felt like I was doing everything for the first time sober! And yes, the first month or so time does drag a bit. I had/have the short term memory problem and a lot of 'fog' in the second month too. It does pass but I find it difficult to know what 'normal' is seeing as I have always been a drinker. Are you getting any other support other than SR?
Welcome to the family
x
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Jsun!
The first couple months can feel pretty rocky. I spent hours here just reading and it really helped to know I wasn't alone and that things would get better. Our brains/bodies are still going through changes even after a year sober.
Try to just take things one day at a time. Things can seem overwhelming if we start worrying about everything at once. If you can just do what you need to do for today, it's a lot more manageable.....
The first couple months can feel pretty rocky. I spent hours here just reading and it really helped to know I wasn't alone and that things would get better. Our brains/bodies are still going through changes even after a year sober.
Try to just take things one day at a time. Things can seem overwhelming if we start worrying about everything at once. If you can just do what you need to do for today, it's a lot more manageable.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
Thanks to you all,
I am not in AA yet and have been going about my sobriety in a very Spartan way so far. When I finally woke-up, I was left with few friends, no job, and a ton of broken relationships to deal with. I'll freely admit that I am nowhere near any sort of finish line, but simply "wanting to live" has been a breakthrough for me.
I was isolating myself almost completely for the last year or so of my life. The last 6 months, I QUIT a job with no prospects because I thought it was my last chance to turn things around...this accomplished the opposite of my intent. I drank vodka all day everyday and rarely ventured further than the liquor store. I woke up and passed out multiple times a day, lost like 30 lbs and basically quit living.
Thanks again to all of you here. I have read SR since my first, terrifying, sober night and will continue to do so. I'm staying in a very small town (1,500 pop) and don't know if I could have made it this long without this outlet.
Withdrawal at my Mom's house without medical supervision "scared me straight" initially, but I know I need more help than family and SR can provide. I'm back to work now and will be seeking outpatient treatment once my group insurance kicks in.
The few people that remain in my life have been very supportive, but they think I'm cured...when I'm alone at night I KNOW that I am not and never will be.
I am not in AA yet and have been going about my sobriety in a very Spartan way so far. When I finally woke-up, I was left with few friends, no job, and a ton of broken relationships to deal with. I'll freely admit that I am nowhere near any sort of finish line, but simply "wanting to live" has been a breakthrough for me.
I was isolating myself almost completely for the last year or so of my life. The last 6 months, I QUIT a job with no prospects because I thought it was my last chance to turn things around...this accomplished the opposite of my intent. I drank vodka all day everyday and rarely ventured further than the liquor store. I woke up and passed out multiple times a day, lost like 30 lbs and basically quit living.
Thanks again to all of you here. I have read SR since my first, terrifying, sober night and will continue to do so. I'm staying in a very small town (1,500 pop) and don't know if I could have made it this long without this outlet.
Withdrawal at my Mom's house without medical supervision "scared me straight" initially, but I know I need more help than family and SR can provide. I'm back to work now and will be seeking outpatient treatment once my group insurance kicks in.
The few people that remain in my life have been very supportive, but they think I'm cured...when I'm alone at night I KNOW that I am not and never will be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by Jsun 
The few people that remain in my life have been very supportive, but they think I'm cured...when I'm alone at night I KNOW that I am not and never will be.
I started going to AA for that very reason. I knew if I just stuck by myself, with my own thoughts, and with my casual drinking friends, (and my family who just want me to be okay without being inconvenienced), then I was headed for trouble.
Being around other people who get it really helps. You don't have to do AA, but it is there if you need it. Plus it's free
Keep posting on here too. Join the Class of...whatever month you quit in. I would never have made it this far (4 months ) without the help of Class of March x
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