I was so positive this morning...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 189
I was so positive this morning...
But now I don't know what happened?
The last two weeks have been easy, no thoughts or temptations. I have easily said nope, I don't drink. But I have been thinking about it ALL afternoon.
I spoke to a sober family member (long-time sober) and it helped for about an hour, but nope, here it comes again. I truly hate to admit it but I am major struggling this evening.
Husband is encouraging "a" drink, but will not be home until late. The problem is now. I am grumpy and I'm not a grumpy person. I am restless and cannot focus on any one thing.
Like I said, I don't like posting this, I wish I was my normal positive self. I can think of all the reasons I do not have a problem while remembering the reasons I quit in the first place. What the heck is wrong with me!?!?!
The last two weeks have been easy, no thoughts or temptations. I have easily said nope, I don't drink. But I have been thinking about it ALL afternoon.
I spoke to a sober family member (long-time sober) and it helped for about an hour, but nope, here it comes again. I truly hate to admit it but I am major struggling this evening.
Husband is encouraging "a" drink, but will not be home until late. The problem is now. I am grumpy and I'm not a grumpy person. I am restless and cannot focus on any one thing.
Like I said, I don't like posting this, I wish I was my normal positive self. I can think of all the reasons I do not have a problem while remembering the reasons I quit in the first place. What the heck is wrong with me!?!?!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
There's nothing wrong with you sober4 - nothing more than the rest of us 
Thinking of drinking is somewhat instinctive I think, especially in the early days - but it's what we do with those thoughts that count.
You're doing great - keep working on your recovery and keep reaching out.
If you think you need to do more for your recovery - then so some more...add some stuff
D
Thinking of drinking is somewhat instinctive I think, especially in the early days - but it's what we do with those thoughts that count.
You're doing great - keep working on your recovery and keep reaching out.
If you think you need to do more for your recovery - then so some more...add some stuff
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
It's perfectly normal to have ups and downs, and don't be hard on yourself for not feeling positive at the moment. Be kind to yourself and know that you can make it through the evening. Good for you for posting your feelings.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Sober4myboys,
Hold on! Think how good you will feel tomorrow if you can get through this without drinking. There are going to be tests all along the path of sobriety - it gets easier the more times that you resist temptation. I wish you the best.
Hold on! Think how good you will feel tomorrow if you can get through this without drinking. There are going to be tests all along the path of sobriety - it gets easier the more times that you resist temptation. I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Sober, that for me is most of the last three weeks. Irritable, stressed. Yesterday I wanted to punch a kid in the face repeatedly because he was punching a carrier bag while I was in the queue at the post office and the noise got on my nerves. I don't like me when I'm like that, and Catherine (My AV) knows it.
I wanted to pick up a drink so much. I went out to get a bottle of vodka. Well, I needed to get bread and milk, but the shop had cheap 40% vodka, and I'd already made a plan so I didn't have to go there. It disappeared by the time I got to the post office, never mind leaving it. So I headed back out, determined to get me some.
But this time, instead of buying alcohol, I picked up the phone. At first, I still wasn't sure, but the more I talked, and the more I listened, the more I found I couldn't do it.
It wasn't my strength that did it. I only wish it had been. And Catherine gave me a really hard time on the way home. She was really nasty.
Sober - whether you think of it as part of our condition, or as the AV trying to get us to drink, we all have times when we start to feel that we don't have a problem. Quite often when we're thinking about drinking. Or is it the AV talking about drinking.
I went to the doctors this morning to drop off mum's prescription. On the way back, I saw an empty can of... a beer I can't spell, so let's say Special Brew lying on the pavement. And yes, I started to think how, on such a nice day, it would be good to sit on the back lawn and have a can. Or two. A little later I passed the pub where somebody left a book for me to pick up. I thought about going in - I had an excuse - and when they said "Pint of Old Empire?" I could say yes. Hell, maybe that part of me that wouldn't let me buy the vodka might shut up for a bit.
But I know how this ends. It ends with me waking up tomorrow not knowing what I did. And I had an AA meeting. I didn't want to go to another one having been drinking the same day. So I went home. Catherine tried to persuade me to change my mind like she did back in April. This time I was aware of her. I told her to STFU.
What I'm saying is, there will be times when you think about drinking. It might be a good day or a bad day. You or your AV, will probably tell yourself you don't have a problem in order to enable you to have a drink.
Stay strong. Stay sober. You're worth it.
I wanted to pick up a drink so much. I went out to get a bottle of vodka. Well, I needed to get bread and milk, but the shop had cheap 40% vodka, and I'd already made a plan so I didn't have to go there. It disappeared by the time I got to the post office, never mind leaving it. So I headed back out, determined to get me some.
But this time, instead of buying alcohol, I picked up the phone. At first, I still wasn't sure, but the more I talked, and the more I listened, the more I found I couldn't do it.
It wasn't my strength that did it. I only wish it had been. And Catherine gave me a really hard time on the way home. She was really nasty.
Sober - whether you think of it as part of our condition, or as the AV trying to get us to drink, we all have times when we start to feel that we don't have a problem. Quite often when we're thinking about drinking. Or is it the AV talking about drinking.
I went to the doctors this morning to drop off mum's prescription. On the way back, I saw an empty can of... a beer I can't spell, so let's say Special Brew lying on the pavement. And yes, I started to think how, on such a nice day, it would be good to sit on the back lawn and have a can. Or two. A little later I passed the pub where somebody left a book for me to pick up. I thought about going in - I had an excuse - and when they said "Pint of Old Empire?" I could say yes. Hell, maybe that part of me that wouldn't let me buy the vodka might shut up for a bit.
But I know how this ends. It ends with me waking up tomorrow not knowing what I did. And I had an AA meeting. I didn't want to go to another one having been drinking the same day. So I went home. Catherine tried to persuade me to change my mind like she did back in April. This time I was aware of her. I told her to STFU.
What I'm saying is, there will be times when you think about drinking. It might be a good day or a bad day. You or your AV, will probably tell yourself you don't have a problem in order to enable you to have a drink.
Stay strong. Stay sober. You're worth it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sober4myboys 
tomsteve.... now I'm crying lol. You used my own signature against me lol. I guess that slipped my mind huh.
Husband is coming home early. Oh my.
Husband is coming home early. Oh my.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Originally Posted by sober4myboys
I can do it. No excuses.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
What have you eaten today? What is your diet like?
I have stopped drinking a million and one times. I was so euphoric! Cloud 9! I can do this! Shoot I might councel other people! Well... it lasted days maybe weeks and possibly into a month --I dont know.
You have to have a balance!
H--ungry....eat something nutritious and eat often!
A--nger...get support (SR, AA, Church, Celebrate)
L--onley..again get SUPPORT
T--ired...FOCUS on your food intake. Get your vitamins in, water, no bleached flour or processed foods---we've had enough poison
They say one day at a time...hell Im selfish...One Hour at a time.
I have stopped drinking a million and one times. I was so euphoric! Cloud 9! I can do this! Shoot I might councel other people! Well... it lasted days maybe weeks and possibly into a month --I dont know.
You have to have a balance!
H--ungry....eat something nutritious and eat often!
A--nger...get support (SR, AA, Church, Celebrate)
L--onley..again get SUPPORT
T--ired...FOCUS on your food intake. Get your vitamins in, water, no bleached flour or processed foods---we've had enough poison
They say one day at a time...hell Im selfish...One Hour at a time.
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