Harder than I thought..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Posts: 299
BunnyDale... I can hear where you're coming from. I'm over 3 months sober now and I spent ages thinking "I can control my drinking at times".
Which I could.. but it was the times I couldn't, and also I couldn't stop drinking for long enough to actually feel okay or decide if I was addicted or not. I managed the grand total of a week in 18 years... and to be honest, if that doesn't scream drink problems not sure what does. I had a lot of friends and family who drank like that too, it's only now that I can see there are other ways to drink (the "normal" way that escaped me).
I did a lot of reading about it... and a lot of it seems to say that each drink fuels your addiction. Even if you don't believe alcoholism is a disease and you're lost forever.. I just couldn't escape that fact that having a drink just fuels the cycle. The medical books, rehab websites, all seemed to point towards alcohol making you go round and round in a circle. The stopping and starting made it worse and I felt so tired from all that wasted energy. Finally stopping is a big relief for me.
Out of interest, you said you work in a bar... have you considered seeing if anything else around? I drunk a lot in bars when I worked there.
Good luck no matter what you decide, for me, I found the more I read and went to meetings the more I strengthened decision to stay stopped. Lots of other threads on here about AVRT and SMART/all sorts of methods. So you can look at stuff and see what helps. Wishing you the best.
Which I could.. but it was the times I couldn't, and also I couldn't stop drinking for long enough to actually feel okay or decide if I was addicted or not. I managed the grand total of a week in 18 years... and to be honest, if that doesn't scream drink problems not sure what does. I had a lot of friends and family who drank like that too, it's only now that I can see there are other ways to drink (the "normal" way that escaped me).
I did a lot of reading about it... and a lot of it seems to say that each drink fuels your addiction. Even if you don't believe alcoholism is a disease and you're lost forever.. I just couldn't escape that fact that having a drink just fuels the cycle. The medical books, rehab websites, all seemed to point towards alcohol making you go round and round in a circle. The stopping and starting made it worse and I felt so tired from all that wasted energy. Finally stopping is a big relief for me.
Out of interest, you said you work in a bar... have you considered seeing if anything else around? I drunk a lot in bars when I worked there.
Good luck no matter what you decide, for me, I found the more I read and went to meetings the more I strengthened decision to stay stopped. Lots of other threads on here about AVRT and SMART/all sorts of methods. So you can look at stuff and see what helps. Wishing you the best.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
