serious

i had my last drink.
the recent traumatic events in my life were enough to bring down the strongest of the strongest. add a bit of a alcohol to the mix and i had a perfect a recipe for a real disaster. for a shot while i was having a little to drink, just to numb the horrid feelings and thoughts. then the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back fell... and i went on a bender, like never before. just didn't care, wanted to disappear, guess i felt like my life was no longer worth living.

well... somebody up there must be watching over me, because somehow i was able to snap out of it. i had to sacrifice a lot of great things to get better. there was no option to "tough it out" this time. i had to leave my job (this decision is still weighting me down), because otherwise i would never break the cycle and the consequences would be much, much worse than a temporary loss of a paycheck...

today i cannot say that i am very happy, but i am hopeful. life is worth living again and i believe in the brighter future.

i'm very thankful for the support of my friends and family. thankful that i didn't hurt anyone or myself. thankful that tomorrow my sobriety will outlast my relapse. thankful to everyone here on SR. thankful that i can run for two miles rather than crawling two feet to the bathroom. thankful that i am finding strength to dig myself out of this emotional hole and move forward.

colagirl

Thanks for posting, this is exactly how I've felt the past few days. Hang in there!

laana

You should be proud of yourself. Just keep doing what you are doing, all that happened to you would only get worse if you were drunk now. You are an inspiration to me.
Wishing you ALL the best!!!!

MrsKing

Congratulations on 2 weeks. I'm glad you are hopeful. Here's to another 2 weeks and then another and another

TorontoGuy28

Congrats on your 2 weeks and your decision(s) ! Hang in there, it gets better....

I am having a week from hell myself.

Live2Run25

That's a very courageous thing you did~! So proud! Congrats on 2 weeks!