Day 17, after my closest call yet
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 42
Day 17, after my closest call yet
My family and I spent this past weekend in my hometown in CT. Part of the itinerary was dinner at a restaurant owned by friends.
Before the food started to come out, my friend came out of the back with a bottle of Prosecco, saying "Do me a favor. I just added this to the wine menu. Tell me what you think."
And I'll admit I pretty well froze up. It caught me off guard to have the bottle, out of nowhere, brought straight to me. The last thing I ever want to do is be rude to someone going out of their way to do something nice for me and my family. After a too-long moment, I managed to defer to my wife, who happily said she'd try some, and I managed to regain my sanity and say that I was all set with water, thanks.
In retrospect, it's funny. The past couple weeks have not been difficult. I've truly bought into the AVRT idea, that when I feel a craving it is not me. It is an animalistic part of my brain that does not understand or care about anything in life outside of getting drunk. It's all it wants and it's all it will ever want, and that's fine. It's not in charge of my decision making.
Still, caught off guard for just a moment, it was amazing to feel the sudden strength and force with which it came to the fore.
But I don't drink. These moments will get easier over time, and I'm happy with the way I handled this first one.
As an aside? There was a private party going on in the back, and I ran into an attendee, a guy a couple years younger than me. I went to high school with him 20 years ago. He was pretty drunk. And is most widely known for almost killing himself when he totaled his car driving drunk on one of our town's winding back roads 3 years ago.
We all make our choices. And it's such a hopeful thing: we can, always, choose to stop.
Before the food started to come out, my friend came out of the back with a bottle of Prosecco, saying "Do me a favor. I just added this to the wine menu. Tell me what you think."
And I'll admit I pretty well froze up. It caught me off guard to have the bottle, out of nowhere, brought straight to me. The last thing I ever want to do is be rude to someone going out of their way to do something nice for me and my family. After a too-long moment, I managed to defer to my wife, who happily said she'd try some, and I managed to regain my sanity and say that I was all set with water, thanks.
In retrospect, it's funny. The past couple weeks have not been difficult. I've truly bought into the AVRT idea, that when I feel a craving it is not me. It is an animalistic part of my brain that does not understand or care about anything in life outside of getting drunk. It's all it wants and it's all it will ever want, and that's fine. It's not in charge of my decision making.
Still, caught off guard for just a moment, it was amazing to feel the sudden strength and force with which it came to the fore.
But I don't drink. These moments will get easier over time, and I'm happy with the way I handled this first one.
As an aside? There was a private party going on in the back, and I ran into an attendee, a guy a couple years younger than me. I went to high school with him 20 years ago. He was pretty drunk. And is most widely known for almost killing himself when he totaled his car driving drunk on one of our town's winding back roads 3 years ago.
We all make our choices. And it's such a hopeful thing: we can, always, choose to stop.
keep it up!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Well done! You handled that really well. I find it really difficult in those situations too, mostly because I feel guilty for not taking what people are happy to give me. But, if they knew what they really were giving me, then I'm sure they wouldn't do it in the first place!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 42
Thanks, all. Alcoholic logic is so ridiculous. "I don't want to be rude, do I? Of course not, so I'd better just have one drink, you know, so I'm not rude. It isn't like I've tried this sort of approach 100 times before and had it end up, every time, sooner or later ending up in (ever more) disastrous binges, right?"
Oh right. It's exactly like that. That's exactly what happens.
And, of course, my friend didn't care at all. I forget that part, often: almost nobody cares, at all, if I drink or not in social situations. It's only super conspicuous to me.
Any other adult who really thinks less of me, or is somehow offended by my choice not to drink alcohol is not the kind of person I want in my life.
Oh right. It's exactly like that. That's exactly what happens.
And, of course, my friend didn't care at all. I forget that part, often: almost nobody cares, at all, if I drink or not in social situations. It's only super conspicuous to me.
Any other adult who really thinks less of me, or is somehow offended by my choice not to drink alcohol is not the kind of person I want in my life.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
Great job, riggedgame! That scenario exactly describes my relapse, except it was champagne I was offered, and I froze up, but then drank it anyway. Hell of a tough situation and having declined that prosecco, I bet that adds to your future strength and commitment. Thanks for sharing, kudos to you!
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