crewisms

There was this tiny little spot in my brain that I could activate with alcohol. When called upon to negotiate a complicated business transaction, stand in front of a crowd to simplify the impossible, or take my little kiddos to their elementary school and dance with them at their sock-hop, all it took was a few (ok, a lot of) drinks to access and activate that last surviving spot to make it happen.

I fully understood that’s exactly what I was doing, and that to perform in those specific moments, it required booze. But I also remembered the days when alcohol wasn’t required to do those things and more.

I quit drinking again about a month ago. A week ago I slipped, but immediately got back on the wagon. I lost my counting days, but didn’t lose momentum. Before I slipped and still today, my brain is in a haze – it’s fogged in. I have to wait patiently for those moments of clarity in order to write, present something, or be fully engaged in my kids’ lives. And as business owner and a single daddy of two, it is frustrating having to fight or wait for those moments to engage like I used to. That’s my world, but it applies to so many of us in the same or different facets of life.

I know I’ve destroyed some brain cells, and I’m convinced my brain will slowly recover as the coming light fries away the fog. I fully realize that accessing that little spot in my brain through alcohol was the temporary path of least resistance, and that while I could do some good while high, the damage done when drunk could have been catastrophic.

So I’m wondering what others have experienced with the fog, and fully knowing that we are all in different stages of both progression and recovery, how and when has the hazy fog lifted? I know it will. I don’t need to know when. I’m just curious about the experiences of others.

Anna

Wow, that sounds so different to my experience. When I was drinking, even small amounts, I found it very hard to focus, concentrate or care about what was happening around me.

However, I did have a foggy brain in the first week or so of recovery, that's for sure. It seemed like I was doing things in slow motion and learning how to find my way again.

I'm glad you're working on your recovery.

Luling

Oh crew, I so know what you mean. I've always been the same way: certain activities were meant to be done with a few drinks first. Any time I have to socialize in a large group of people, or do something that might be a little bit outside my comfort zone, I want to drink first.

I've been in a general off and on fog since the end of May when I started this. Talking to certain people is difficult, multitasking is nearly impossible, and my frustration threshold is low. I can't tell how much of this is due to lack of sleep, and how much of it is due to lack of booze, but I'm guessing it's a combination of both.

I haven't gotten to the "fog lifting" part of my recovery, but I'm looking forward to it. Some days are better than others though, at least I think so.

Dee74

I drank a lot for a long time, so 'the fog' was with me a while too...

but we do recuperate, our faculties do come back...and it does lift, I promise crewisms

D

RevivingOphelia

crew,

I know what you mean about the seeming ease of performing some work tasks with a few drinks. After formal work hours, I'd go somewhere and grade papers, and wine made it so much more manageable and it went by faster. However, after I felt I had a accomplished enough, I wouldn't stop but carry on through the evening and *treat* myself with more.

This past week I have been in such a fog and am fairly tired. I'll walk into a room and forget why I came into it and just feel a general level of fatigue. I'm trying to fire up my body and brain with some low level aerobic workouts and tried yoga for the first time last night (yoga really helped me relax).

Also, I am so grateful for being off work for the summer b/c, when I stopped drinking during the school year, I felt out of it and it also was a major trigger. I am hoping to rewire my brain and patterns a bit over the new couple of months.

Thanks for the thread and for any who contribute. Good luck you all.

lambykitten

I tried to get sober in November and definitely experienced the fogged brain - although for me it felt more like a lack of inertia. Like there were things I needed to do but just couldn't muster the energy/attention/desire to do it. I was still in law school at the time, and getting to class was an epic battle (even a noon class) and doing the reading and being prepared? forget about it!

This time around (86 days ago) I went into treatment. I think the routine (6:30 am wake ups!), healthy food, and exercise helped. I also was able to take a lot of pressure off of myself while I was there and after leaving by going on a medical leave from school. (I know you can't exactly take a medical leave from being a parent though!)

One thing that continues to make a huge difference to me is exercise - I walk or jog 3 miles to a noon time meeting and back every day. I always have more energy and less anxiety afterwards.

Fernaceman

The human body is an incredible machine. It will most likely recover, but like others have said, time is the only thing that can do this.

Each and every minute you are sober is bringing yourself closer to feeling even better.

Also, remember how you feel right now. It's a very good deterrent further down the road that the brain quickly forgets.

Elisabeth888

For some reason my fog has always cleared up after about a week. Give it time though! It will come back. I am taking a psychology course right now at I am on the Memory chapter now and there are a lot exercises you can do to work on short and long term memory. Google it. Our brains are fascinating.

crewisms

Anna, I know what you're saying. We're all different, aren't we. This was a hard subject to articulate in a brief (ya, I know, it was long) post. Believe me, while in the drink, whether drinking or not, most my life was in a haze. But there was this little spot that I could access, yet it got smaller and smaller as the years passed, and took more and more alcohol to get there. Hence, the bottle ended up hidden in a paper bag and my occasional productive moments came as often as the full moon.

MalkavianEmily

I know what you mean. I had a bunch of things to do last Friday. One of them was to take a prescription to the chemists. It took 3 goes before I remembered about it. Went to the solicitors, [they were closed for lunch], remembered the chemists, decided to call there, do my shopping and come back. On my way to the chemists, passed the phone shop. When I came out I went the wrong way, because I was headed to the supermarket. Turned round, went back towards the chemists. Went past...

wonderfullife

my addiction counselor recommended b vitamins and fish oil. I already knew this, because they helped me function through the tough times. I also recommend exercise, no matter what your level. it is one of the few things out there proven to regrow new bain cells. and remember, every new brain cell is one not effected by our past. keep them growing. also, nap a lot. even a 15 minute lunch meditation/nap is great. our brain is wounded. take care of it.

sugarbear1

The brain fog didn't last too long, but there were also other changes in my brain that were apparent. Everyone is different. Give time time. Just do a little bit more research for your work (looking up words, preparing in advance) whatever you need, you will accomplish. It's so worth it! YOU are worth it and so are your children!

crewisms

I'm rolling with laughter, Emily. I just threw my car keys in the dumpster (here in the U.S. that's the place where you throw all your garbage). Shook my head, launched myself over the edge, dug out my keys, jumped back out and told my kids, "This was a lesson for you kids. Never throw your car keys in the dumpster."