More than a glimpse of hope
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
More than a glimpse of hope
Hello everyone! I have been viewing this board for a little while and finally found a little motivation to join and share some thoughts.
I am coming up on 6 months of sobriety 06/30, God willing, and had recently found myself in kind of a standstill of spiritual growth. The standstill was completely of my own making with not doing what I was supposed to be doing regarding meetings, praying, working with others. I was basically trying (again) to do it on my own and found myself getting more depressed and crazy again by the day. I was stuck in the "woe is my life" thinking again and was displaying all the addictive behaviors again. The only thing missing was the drugs and alcohol.
A little history: Went thru Hazelden in January and then spent another 3 months in a long-term recovery program in St. Paul before deciding to come back around May. Long story short, not my first time thru treatment and the recovery concept so I am well aware of what I should be doing to maintain sobriety. Not going to meetings and doing what I should be doing was a completely selfish and dangerous move on my part. I am glad I somehow managed to not use again.
I reconnected with my sponsor and meetings Sunday and all I can say is: Wow, life is so much better and more positive when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Sounds simple, but it has for some reason been a very hard concept for me to grasp throughout my life.
Yesterday I finally completed my 5th step with my sponsor and I am not sure if that has anything to do with my thinking today but WOW. Somehow, the negative thinking has been completely turned around, at least for the time being!
I finally am beginning to realize that I have a choice if I wish to be happy or not. It is all in my perceptions of the world and my situation. And my situation, quite frankly, isn't bad at all, my crazy mind only wishes it to use it as an excuse to self destruct.
I am not sure where I was going with all that but I am just thrilled that I finally have some hope on the future. I believe I can finally start making some true spiritual progress.
God is good and life is great. I just wanted to share that!
William
I am coming up on 6 months of sobriety 06/30, God willing, and had recently found myself in kind of a standstill of spiritual growth. The standstill was completely of my own making with not doing what I was supposed to be doing regarding meetings, praying, working with others. I was basically trying (again) to do it on my own and found myself getting more depressed and crazy again by the day. I was stuck in the "woe is my life" thinking again and was displaying all the addictive behaviors again. The only thing missing was the drugs and alcohol.
A little history: Went thru Hazelden in January and then spent another 3 months in a long-term recovery program in St. Paul before deciding to come back around May. Long story short, not my first time thru treatment and the recovery concept so I am well aware of what I should be doing to maintain sobriety. Not going to meetings and doing what I should be doing was a completely selfish and dangerous move on my part. I am glad I somehow managed to not use again.
I reconnected with my sponsor and meetings Sunday and all I can say is: Wow, life is so much better and more positive when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Sounds simple, but it has for some reason been a very hard concept for me to grasp throughout my life.
Yesterday I finally completed my 5th step with my sponsor and I am not sure if that has anything to do with my thinking today but WOW. Somehow, the negative thinking has been completely turned around, at least for the time being!
I finally am beginning to realize that I have a choice if I wish to be happy or not. It is all in my perceptions of the world and my situation. And my situation, quite frankly, isn't bad at all, my crazy mind only wishes it to use it as an excuse to self destruct.
I am not sure where I was going with all that but I am just thrilled that I finally have some hope on the future. I believe I can finally start making some true spiritual progress.
God is good and life is great. I just wanted to share that!
William
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome and thanks for the inspiring post!! Congratulations on your sober time, too!
I didn't fully get it the first time around either, though I thought I did. It's great to hear that things are different this time for you. I loved what you said about being able to choose our own happiness - so true. Even when we're having a bad day, we can still feel good about ourselves when we're sober.
Good to have you with us!
I didn't fully get it the first time around either, though I thought I did. It's great to hear that things are different this time for you. I loved what you said about being able to choose our own happiness - so true. Even when we're having a bad day, we can still feel good about ourselves when we're sober.
Good to have you with us!
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