First day Sober AGAIN......
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by JediTrey 
I appreciate the insight.......I was once told to never make a huge life decision while getting sober, such as job change or spouse/partner. I'm still very much going through withdrawal sypmtoms and just not sure if I'm jeapordizing/ending a relationship because my head is a bit fuzzy right now. I'm just very confused.
In that case don't do anything you might regret - that includes breaking things off and going to a pool party
Can you not cry off from that one? I'd recommend it, doesn't sound like the kind of environment where anybody is going to be sober... You have to look after yourself at the moment. That's not being selfish at all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by JediTrey
Soooo...I'm pretty sure she's not going to stay sober, she has a problem but respects my decision to sober up ( day three). I can already tell that our relationship is different because we're not out " having drinks" , but rather staying in watching tv etc.....I sense that she'll get frustrated with my sobriety at some point, and honestly, my hearts not in this relationship anymore. Probmel du jour, I'm committed to a full weekend with her #1 playing in a big golf tournament tommorrow that no doubt will be filled with people drinking all day, and #2 a pool party on Saturday, need I say more. I just don't want to do these things, in just three days I'm seeing things more clearly. But can I break up with her right before these commitments? I feel so bad, she says " I love you" and I just don't feel it. I need to take care of myself first and not sure she's in my future, just feel bad. She's supposed to be sleeping over tonight, laundrey etc....Sorry to make this a semi soap opera thread, but my sobriety is at the heart of it.
), is 100% how you feel, you should have already made the decision. If not, I hope you can see where anyone reading that might be confused.I know it can be a tough position, so even if you can't come to a definitive decision, maybe err on the side that feels more important to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
If you don't want to go don't go, Trey.
I had to stop people pleasing if I wanted to get sober - it was quite a revelation to me to realise that not everyone had my best interests at heart.
On the one hand we have your recovery, your well being, and what you want to do - on the other a golf tournament and a pool party.
To be honest I'm not sure if 'being rude' is even a factor, here, Trey?
D
I had to stop people pleasing if I wanted to get sober - it was quite a revelation to me to realise that not everyone had my best interests at heart.
On the one hand we have your recovery, your well being, and what you want to do - on the other a golf tournament and a pool party.
To be honest I'm not sure if 'being rude' is even a factor, here, Trey?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by Dee74
I had to stop people pleasing if I wanted to get sober - it was quite a revelation to me to realise that not everyone had my best interests at heart.
i cannot believe that after all the pain and suffering, which my friends know about, some of my close friends still tell me... "just relax", "you'll be fine", "your liver will recover", "you always manage to get back" ... in the context of "come out and have a drink with us/me".
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
If you were sick, you would probably bow out of the tournament and pool party and take care of yourself, right? I don't see this as any different. The first days/weeks of sobriety are critical and it's easy to feel overwhelmed. There's nothing wrong with making choices because YOU feel they are right for you.
:ghug3
:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 103
Well, I made the decision to skip the drunken golf tournament with my girlfriend and the pool party. I simply told her I don't think it's a good idea if I go. Then the girl who " loves me", decided that my decision was really just an easy way to break up with her, so I guess she really didn't love me and didn't respect my decision to do whats best for me. In typical fashion, she showed up at my doorstep at 7 am this morning to drop off everything I had left at her place...nice. I guess her true colors are shining and I'll be better off in the long run. Here's to a sober weekend.
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
I'm so sorry she took it that way, and not trying to sound insensitive, but it doesn't sound like she really respected you. If she's not willing to see it now, she probably never would have. Thinking of you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 103
I agree after months of I loves you's and drinking and dining out, I simply asked to skip a golf event so I wouldn't be tempted to drink and BOOM, she headed for the exits.......sad, but I'll get over it
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
I think in the end it's for the best. You will meet another girl that's more understanding and in the end that will be great for you. Hang in there and keep your chin up! You ARE doing the right thing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Sorry to hear that Trey. Certainly sounds like she wasn't the right one for you though.
You concentrate on yourself for now, then everything else will fall into place
That's what I'm hoping for anyway!
Enjoy your weekend!
Mxx
You concentrate on yourself for now, then everything else will fall into place
That's what I'm hoping for anyway!Enjoy your weekend!
Mxx
Last edited by MyTimeNow; 06-22-2012 at 10:11 AM. Reason: cannot spell!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 344
Hi Trey, I heartily applaud your decision to skip the events! You made yourself a priority, and that is a wonderful thing!
As for the girl (and yeah, I do mean girl), while I am sorry for the pain you're going through, I personally think you're lucky you dodged that bullet.
best to you -- and keep taking good care of yourself!
As for the girl (and yeah, I do mean girl), while I am sorry for the pain you're going through, I personally think you're lucky you dodged that bullet.
best to you -- and keep taking good care of yourself!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
I think that being around an active alcoholic is too much for someone who is struggling. I think when I was drinking, I chose alcoholics. It's not healthy. I think you should move on. I did. I'm glad I did. Hugs to you:ghug3
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
