Please allow me to introduce myself...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by SomebodyElse 
Sapling, I read over the link and can certainly relate to the fear and anxiety that they mention. Thanks for posting this.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
I understand being sick and tired of doing the same ol every day as I drank/drugged myself to death. What helps me is to have a recovery plan along wirh being here ar SR. I use SOS, LifeRing,
SMART, CBT, DBT and AVRT to help me stay sober. Maybe you'll see something useful in what has helped me.
Your here now and that will help you with accountability.
SMART, CBT, DBT and AVRT to help me stay sober. Maybe you'll see something useful in what has helped me.
Your here now and that will help you with accountability.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Seem to me that if you want to get sorry then you will have to change environment aka friends, hangout and getting your husband to understand that your trying to quit. If he does not want you to quit then you will have a really hard time staying sober. More so if hey keeps alcohol in the house all the time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
You are like the female version of me. I relate to all of your post (except the part about having a husband). I could go on and on about your post (because I relate to it so much) but I think I'll focus on the part about being "hungover, scared, embarrassed, vulnerable".
Everytime I drank I had to deal with that stuff. Early on I'd get really drunk at parties and do something stupid, or be inappropriate with a female, or make a stupid joke, or slur my words, etc... tangible things that I would feel ashamed of. I'd wake up with all of those emotions that you described.
As my drinking progrossed I isolated more. I would go out for drink with people but rarely would drink very much. I'd stay for and hour or two, and drink as much as everyone else, but my drinking happened at home. I could really only drink like I wanted to when I was alone. What I found was, I'd get those same feelings of shame, embarresment, anxiety, etc.. Even though I knew I didn't do anything stupid, I just felt ashamed of myself.
When I was hungover I felt like I was going to die. I literally mean die. My hangovers weren't "my head hurts, or I need an asprin, or coffee", etc... My hangover felt like I was dying. The reason, I found out recently, was because they weren't hangover's at all.
IT WAS MY ADDICTED BODY WITHDRAWING FROM ALCOHOL.
When I finally realized that, it made sense.
Today I am 51 days sober. This is the 2nd longest stretch of my life. I don't miss it at all. Not even a little. If I can do this anyone can. There are many different programs out there but SR can be a huge help. It's doors are open 24 / 7.
I don't give a lot of advice, but one thing I'd suggest is set aside all of the worry about the husband and friends for now. How they will react to you being sober can wait. Let's just get you sober and wait for the problem to surface. I've found that most of my fears never come true.
So, It's a day by day deal. I wish you the best of luck.
Everytime I drank I had to deal with that stuff. Early on I'd get really drunk at parties and do something stupid, or be inappropriate with a female, or make a stupid joke, or slur my words, etc... tangible things that I would feel ashamed of. I'd wake up with all of those emotions that you described.
As my drinking progrossed I isolated more. I would go out for drink with people but rarely would drink very much. I'd stay for and hour or two, and drink as much as everyone else, but my drinking happened at home. I could really only drink like I wanted to when I was alone. What I found was, I'd get those same feelings of shame, embarresment, anxiety, etc.. Even though I knew I didn't do anything stupid, I just felt ashamed of myself.
When I was hungover I felt like I was going to die. I literally mean die. My hangovers weren't "my head hurts, or I need an asprin, or coffee", etc... My hangover felt like I was dying. The reason, I found out recently, was because they weren't hangover's at all.
IT WAS MY ADDICTED BODY WITHDRAWING FROM ALCOHOL.
When I finally realized that, it made sense.
Today I am 51 days sober. This is the 2nd longest stretch of my life. I don't miss it at all. Not even a little. If I can do this anyone can. There are many different programs out there but SR can be a huge help. It's doors are open 24 / 7.
I don't give a lot of advice, but one thing I'd suggest is set aside all of the worry about the husband and friends for now. How they will react to you being sober can wait. Let's just get you sober and wait for the problem to surface. I've found that most of my fears never come true.
So, It's a day by day deal. I wish you the best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 78
Hi there, you sound like me, except I'm 41 (how did that happen). We can do this, millions of people have done this and so can we. I firmly believe in a plan and tools for success, this forum is loaded with advice on both. Maybe let go of your expectations on what you believe other people want from you, I did, I asked my husband and he said 'I want you to be happy', that's what loved ones want from each other. Good luck, I know you can do this because I can too
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 26
ReggieW, I too can relate to your post. I have noticed as of late, that I would pace myself with whoever I was out with. If they had 2 glasses of wine, so did I. If they stopped, I stopped - knowing that I would drink freely as soon as I got home. So terrible! So many mornings I would wake up and think, "why didn't I just stop? why did I come home and drink more?"
I look forward to never feeling that shame again!
donenow, that's what scares me. My 30's have flown by. I know life is just going to go by faster. I don't want to wake up one day in my 40's, 50's, 60's etc and think why did I waste so much time getting drunk and recovering from hangovers, instead of just enjoying each moment and doing what I want to do?
I am going to follow both of your advice and not worry about what my husband or friends may think of me for not drinking. Thank you.
I made it through today!!
I look forward to never feeling that shame again!
donenow, that's what scares me. My 30's have flown by. I know life is just going to go by faster. I don't want to wake up one day in my 40's, 50's, 60's etc and think why did I waste so much time getting drunk and recovering from hangovers, instead of just enjoying each moment and doing what I want to do?
I am going to follow both of your advice and not worry about what my husband or friends may think of me for not drinking. Thank you.
I made it through today!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Pleased to meet you, SomebodyElse. How I wish I'd made the decision you have, before my life spun out of control. You'll never regret taking charge of your life and living it with eyes wide open, instead of in a fog.
Congratulations on getting through today sober.
Congratulations on getting through today sober.
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