desertsong

This was my downfall. In my rational mind, I knew that I couldn't be satisfied with just one or two ... but my alcoholic voice told me that things would be different. They never were. One is too many, and a thousand isn't enough. I wish I'd known then what I know now.

What does your alcoholic voice tell you to get you to drink? Does it say, "Just one or two is okay?" Or, "You can have a couple and it will HELP you to get through this?"

I'm curious, because I'm beginning to recognize my own AV and its lies ... they are perfectly formulated to appeal to my weaknesses. I'm no rocket surgeon, but I would guess that your AV appeals to your weaknesses too.

What are they?

SomethingBetter

My AV knows me better than anyone, it knows my weaknesses and strengths, so yea it used to use all my weaknesses to get me to drink but now it knows that I am done drinking forever, my AV is still there but doesn’t fight nowhere near as hard, it knows me too well and if I say I am done forever and mean it, it knows that too.

aeo1313

The main thing it says is you aren't an alcoholic. You didn't drink daily and it didn't really affect your life. You over reacted going to AA and you don't need/belong there. Just don't get wasted in front of the kids and you are fine. A bottle of beer is ok.


etc etc etc

Ha! I don't want a f*&^ing bottle of beer. What's the point?? Give me a 12 pack and we will talk! My husband put an airline bottle of vodka in his diet coke last night- that seems so lame to me. Why bother if you aren't getting drunk?

EXM6

Mine usually says "**** it" or "no one will know." It always knows it's a problem, it knows it cant trick me into believing I can just have a couple -- so it takes the self-destructive approach. I'm done letting it steal my life.

Dee74

My dialogue always suggested - 'you're feeling great now - you overreacted'...

or 'dang it...sort it out tomorrow'....

D

debsam

Great thread Desertsong,

Kind of like "the language of the Alcoholic Voice".

I don't hear from her/it much anymore.....quite fleeting really. That's because I don't participate in the dance.

debsam

The negotiation for me was....

You've eaten really well today (full stomach), it's still early evening so you'll be in bed at the latest 10:00pm (reducing possible hangover risk based on decent number of sleep hours), you listen and advise others constantly (you deserve some drinks), you won't call anyone on the phone, so no one will even know that you drank........

And so on, and so on. Endless list of justifications to ruin my body, mind and spirit. What a waste of time.

HitRockBottom70

My weaknesses,
Too numerous to count. The AV knows this and has used every one. Unlike Deb, I have been slam dancing with him for a few weeks. It is getting easier as time goes by, and I know I am going to win. I look forward to the day I can listen to the music and just enjoy by it by myself.

HitRockBottom70

The worst one now is: you did not drink every day...you did not go through withdrawl when you quit...you have shown you don't need it by quitting longer than 3 weeks...why not just moderate and have just 1. But I know better so slam it I must

ReadyAndAble

Mine said, "Now's a bad time to quit. You've got that (insert anything, good or bad, significant or trivial) coming up. You should wait until after that."

My experience exactly! Once I learned to just observe the thoughts, feelings, and images that popped into my head—without judging, fighting, or fearing them—the AV largely went away. It's probably off somewhere with debsam's AV talking smack about me. It always was a whiner.

DisplacedGRITS

Mine tells me that since i have this sobriety under my belt i have proven that i have self control and can handle the drink. If i don't trust myself then i can give myself a hard limit like one day a month or week i can drink. Still, i know that's a lie. If i give myself an inch i know i'll take a yard. Once i give my AV the reigns it's off to the races. The only control i have over drinking is whether i drink or not.