Divorce
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Eliasson, hugs.
I will share my experience with this.
When my marriage was tanking. I drank and drugged in an effort to "swallow" the issues and make it so I could put up with a rotten marriage.
I thought if I could stop making waves, and suck it all up that I could save the marriage. I was afraid to be alone. I didn't want to be a divorced woman. I didn't want to give up the little bit of financial security we finally managed to achieve.
But it still didn't save the marriage. I went through some extra years of hell, in a lousy marriage, and messed up on booze, drugs and some other stuff. And ultimately, the marriage ended.
Now I am in recovery, and addressing my own life, sans the weight of feeling like a failure, being told I was a crap wife, and feeling like I had to "medicate" (with booze and drugs) myself into submission.
I am free of an essentially hopeless situation.
The divorce was hard, and this life I have now is challenging, but there is hope. I'm not pickling myself in toxins anymore. What I make is mine. My sense of self worth is growing.
My marriage wasn't going to get better. Drowning myself in substance abuse wasn't the answer.
I would rather be a recovering addict on my own, than a dying addict in a sham marriage.
I will share my experience with this.
When my marriage was tanking. I drank and drugged in an effort to "swallow" the issues and make it so I could put up with a rotten marriage.
I thought if I could stop making waves, and suck it all up that I could save the marriage. I was afraid to be alone. I didn't want to be a divorced woman. I didn't want to give up the little bit of financial security we finally managed to achieve.
But it still didn't save the marriage. I went through some extra years of hell, in a lousy marriage, and messed up on booze, drugs and some other stuff. And ultimately, the marriage ended.
Now I am in recovery, and addressing my own life, sans the weight of feeling like a failure, being told I was a crap wife, and feeling like I had to "medicate" (with booze and drugs) myself into submission.
I am free of an essentially hopeless situation.
The divorce was hard, and this life I have now is challenging, but there is hope. I'm not pickling myself in toxins anymore. What I make is mine. My sense of self worth is growing.
My marriage wasn't going to get better. Drowning myself in substance abuse wasn't the answer.
I would rather be a recovering addict on my own, than a dying addict in a sham marriage.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
Wow. I don't know what to say. I'm literally in tears from the outpouring of love and support. I am scared and sad, but still sober, with huge thanks to my SR family. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this community of friends
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 164
There aren't many things worse than going through a divorce, but staying an alcoholic in an abusive relationship is one of them.
** edit ** sorry if this sounded a bit too harsh. I just don't want you to feel like you need to start drinking again. We all care about you here on SR and want you to stay sober. We are all in this together.
** edit ** sorry if this sounded a bit too harsh. I just don't want you to feel like you need to start drinking again. We all care about you here on SR and want you to stay sober. We are all in this together.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 392
I am sorry he wants to a divorce. However, you said he drinks so he probably doesnt know what he wants lolol. Under the influence, people don't make good decisions. With that said, YOU SHOULD NOT DRINK because you need to make good decisions going thru this process. Do you have a support system? You will need one.
I divorced my alcoholic/weed smoking physically and emotionally abusive husband 4 years ago. I wish I had gone thru the process without drinking because I messed up some things. Had I not been drinking, things would have gone more smoothly and I probably wouldn't have any regrets.
God bless you and your situation
I divorced my alcoholic/weed smoking physically and emotionally abusive husband 4 years ago. I wish I had gone thru the process without drinking because I messed up some things. Had I not been drinking, things would have gone more smoothly and I probably wouldn't have any regrets.
God bless you and your situation
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