donenow

Going out tonight, Friday night with the girls. They're going to a wine bar, I could stay home and I may, it's hours away and I haven't committed to going. Anyway, tossing it around my head, practising ordering a lemon, line and bitters, waiting for the 'oh, you're not drinking?' and the (imagined?) look of disappointment on their faces. Because I'm the FUNNY one, you know, the funny one who says all the witty, barbed, hilarious things when she's had a few glasses of wine. I make people laugh when I'm drunk (or do I?). *sigh* and now I'm worried I'll disappoint them (this surely is a complete fabrication, what friend would care?). I've got to find a new and healthier party trick and stop worrying (obsessing) about what people think of me!

Thanks for reading my post, if you've got any experience in what I'm feeling I'd love to read your views.

MsJax

I can only suggest what worked for me when these nights came up in the first few months of sobriety. Stay home. Worry about the other stuff you wrote later. It is very freeing to just say no and stay in and take care of you. You have just over a month right? Time to put sobriety first.

Mainza

I have been about 6 months sober and I can say early on, I refused to go to any situations that involved drinking. I am still doing that but my confidence is building and I have gained experience telling people, 'no thanks'. As a binge drinker, I may have done some funny/stupid things but inside I was disturbed and terrified. I would black out so maybe I wasn't funny and was an ******* instead? I can be funny sober and it is a much more witty and quick funny that is unpredictable, its great! Being sober and funny is much more genuine. Drunk funny is only funny to drunk people.


My advice would be to stay home and to get busy doing something else.

auden67

I worry about this too. My humor was my favorite party trick, not to mention how it loosened me up. What I think about is how now I can have real conversations, think empathetic ally, laugh more emphatically, not sort of dopeily. I'd have a long talk with yourself about the wine party, and a plan. A plan to GTFO if you feel not in control of the situation.

I have a big music festival tickets this weekend, in bars! But I worked out a plan with my boyfriend (CODEFACE!) to go for a walk or get out if I need to. This is a big adjustment, especially if you are like me and while your friends know you like the booze, they weren't planning an intervention or anything. If I were on a diet, I wouldn't go slumming in a bakery until I felt my lifestyle habits were snuggly in place. Maybe take a rain check, and invite the girls over for coffee and pie sometime soon.

CactusJill

I wouldn't go either, donenow. I went to a bar with my bf last week and although I didn't drink, it was torture. I ended up being quiet and clearly uncomfortable all night and I ruined it for everyone else. Next time, I'm taking a pass.

oldsoul1122

I'm in my second month and relate. I feel like my personality died and feel very emotionally vulnerable now. I'm going to wait until I heal some to get out and about. Take care of you.

Dee74

I had to take a time out too - there will be other nights outs...when you're better prepared for them...and when you have a better appreciation of how you are sober

Falling down drunk, being sick, being loud, being obnoxious, being embarrassing...now that was boring...

Just be you...you is good.
You just need a little time to get used to who that is

Recovery's not about losing anything - it's about gaining our life back...& life should be enjoyed not endured.... But I think a little 'me time' is required before we do that...it's a big life change...My advice is don't be in a rush

D

Luling

I had signed up for one of those art classes where you sit and drink wine while the instructor takes you step-by-step through the process of creating your own painting. I love this stuff and was really looking forward to it. It's tomorrow, I already paid for it, my friends are looking forward to having me join them ... and I'm skipping it. I have no regrets about it either, it's for the best.

I guess everybody's different though, and some might be ready for this kind of thing sooner than others.

Michael66

I'd be wary going somewhere centred on drinking.

Generally though, if your friends don't love and appreciate a quieter sober you then perhaps they weren't really good friends. But give them a chance first (perhaps outside of drinking temples), you may find they love chatting to you sober.

OklaBH

skip it. im no one to give advice since I am worse off then when i first started trying to get sober BUT..trust me on this. Dont go. one thing that helped me immensly when i got sober (that one time) was a change of people places & things.

MalkavianEmily

I think, if it were me, I'd stay home. Where I am at the moment, it's best for me to not be around alcohol. I could go with the best of intentions, and end up drinking.
As for worrying about being boring. I don't know whether I'm wittier or not when I've had a drink. More relaxed, yes. A little giggly, yes. But wittier? I don't know, because when I try to think about it, I can't remember much of what I've said when I was drunk. And the few snippets I can remember... I wish someone would take that memory away.