Yogagirl1969

I had horrible dreams last night that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I went as far as confronting him. This is not normally like me. I have been having awful dreams since I have been sober. Crazy feelings coming to the surface. I feel so insecure and vulnerable and out of control of my emotions. I don't know how he handles being around me I am happy then angry, sad and over emotionall. He was there before I was sober and he is here in my recovery. But I feel like I don't even know who I am. Today I am laying in bed just trying to pull myself out. He says if I am not happy with him I need to make a decision.. Seems like such a huge thing to think about. When I was drinking I would have left by now or had his stuff packed. I need to get up get over this and try and be more positive. First day I have laid around like this although didn't get much sleep. Need some support here...

crewisms

Yogagirl! Big, huge, massive, sober hug to you! Ah, the dreams. Every time I quit (and there were a lot of them) I had countless dreams, most of them bad. But then the good dreams would come roaring in and they were awesome. Hang in there and know that you have a tremendous amount of love and support here in SR.

Luling

Does your boyfriend understand what you're going through? I think a little patience might be in order on his part. I'm on day 9 and haven't had the dreams, but I have been a real crankypants off and on. It gets better, but people need to be understanding.

Yogagirl1969

Yeah he is understanding but he is asking me to make a decision if I am not happy he says to let him know.. Well I know I am not happy today.. And I know trying to be sober and be in a relationship is difficult. I am just realizing who I am let alone trying to figure someone else out.

goldie5

Yogagirl, Dreams can really feel real sometimes I had a doozy about a week ago (not sober at time) that haunted me. Realize it isn't and get out of bed and get out of the house..take a walk, go window shopping set up a lunch date with a girlfriend. You will come back home and be clearer, staying inside and in bed will make things worse. If you can't leave the house clean out a closet or something you been meaning to clear out. It will help you gain control of your emotions to feel productive. I am on day 1 so be proud of how well you have done!! So, get out of those pj's and get some vitamin D!

Yogagirl1969

Thank you Goldie.. Congrats on day one! Love your positive ness... It really helps and thank you.. Thanks to everyone for your kind words.. I'm up and drinking coffee now..

gordano

I had intense dreams that involved cursing, kicking and punching all while sleeping for about two weeks when I was detoxing. They will eventually fade away you will sleep better than you can imagine. Just keep up with your sobriety!

goldie5

Oh, great! I have been married 21 years to a great guy, he puts up with alot and is really hoping I can make it through this..alot of pressure but I am not doing it for him this time. Last time I tried it was because he was going to divorce me....not threats if I didn't stop it was just gonna happen he was done. I got sober for a short time and we didn't divorce. If your boyfriend wants an answer today, just tell him I just need your support and I might be irrational at times, emotional during this time. Most males just don't know how to help us women (sober or not) tell him what would help you when you are feeling emotional. My husband and teenage son were warned to not upset me or stress me out especially this week..not sure how that is gonna work either. Stay strong, I will too!

Deserto

Hi Yogagirl, Early sobriety can be an emotional rollercoaster, which is why it's generally recommended that people don't make big decisions (like moving, starting or breaking off a relationship, quitting a job) during this period. Is there any way you can explain that to your bf so he lays off the demand for you to "make a decision?" Anything you can say so he'll give you time to just be for now?

The intense dreams will pass, too. I think it has to do with us finally getting true REM sleep and processing thoughts that never got processed when we were passed out drunk

CaiHong

Yogagirl,
it takes a while for the alcohol to leave your system. Emotions will be all over the place as will be your perceptions.
I used the serenity prayer as my mantra. I overeacted in situations a lot. It takes time, be kind to yourself, remove yourself from your triggers if you can.
This is the most important thing in your life, your sobriety. This will determine what kind of life you will have.

Love
Carol

2granddaughters

Am I reading this right ?? ... you had a dream and confronted your boyfriend as though it was a reality ?? .....

Yogagirl1969

Thank you everyone for your support.. Felt I was doing soo good past 79 days just to experience a breakdown today.. UGH!!! I got myself up.. showered and took my dog for a ride in my car.. got a diet coke from del taco.. and cleaned my garage .. feel a little better now.

Yogagirl1969

So I decided to end the relationship, altimatums don't work very well for me right now. So he wanted an answer.. Wonder what the rush is.. I guess he got one. Now I know why they say to hold off on relationships during new sobriety. My main focus is my sobriety. All else will fall into place. Not very sad about it. Feel maybe because he was there before I got sober was almost like a reminder of my past, not easy to deal with when I am trying to start a new life in a positive way. I think maybe I made the best decision for me right now.