Day 1
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London
Posts: 39
I too managed to stop and stay stopped (that was always the hard part for me!) in the rooms of AA. I recommend it highly.
So glad you have come to SR. I found this enormously helpful in early recovery and still massively helpful today.
XX
So glad you have come to SR. I found this enormously helpful in early recovery and still massively helpful today.
XX
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 7
My husband and I are going on a well deserved trip to France on Friday. Will only be my 5th day then. Already trying (in my head) to justify that a glass of wine with dinner on the Seine will be ok! WTH! It will not be ok, but I will! Have never been so determined! Please pray for me! Do not want more than one day 1... Day 1done and dusted! Looking forward to all the days to come 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
It's the cycle of addiction. We have a "bad drunk". We are remorseful, we swear that it never happen again. We just pray that if we can just get through this rough patch we'll get on the wagon. We wake up the next day thankful, more clear headed, purpose-ful.
We wake up the next day and we're not quite as motivated, we're a little more aggitated, we see people drinking and wonder why can't that be me?
We awake the next day and at this point we are starting to plan out when / where / how much we'll drink. We romatisize how it will feel. We think we've learned from our mistakes, we feel we'll be much more "responsible" when it comes to drinking. We design rules and sometimes even ask out spouses "don't ever let me drink whiskey again, or shots"...
We order that drink and somewhere in the back of our minds we know this IS A HORRIBLE IDEA, but we do it anyway... besides, we learned a lot over this past week. We learned what not to do, but we're adults right? Drinking is legal right? We just want to take the edge off...
We have the drink and sometimes we behave ourselves. Sometimes after a period of being dry we put so much damn will power on watching our drinking we don't get compeltely wasted but this only makes it worse. Now, we had our drink but didn't get as much as we really wanted. Now that little child in us is banging his hand on the table because it didn't get to drink how it wanted...
Then, for me, always followed the next big drunk. Remember when I told my wife not to let me order whiskey or shots? Now I'm laughing at that. Now I'm taking swigs directly from the bottle in the kitchen. Now I'm timing myself to make sure I drink a beer in 10 minutes so I get the correct amount of buzz going. Now, I'm making sure any restaurant that we go to serves alcohol....
That's my pattern. I've done this hundreds of times. Not anymore. One day at a time I stay sober. I wish you the best!
We wake up the next day and we're not quite as motivated, we're a little more aggitated, we see people drinking and wonder why can't that be me?
We awake the next day and at this point we are starting to plan out when / where / how much we'll drink. We romatisize how it will feel. We think we've learned from our mistakes, we feel we'll be much more "responsible" when it comes to drinking. We design rules and sometimes even ask out spouses "don't ever let me drink whiskey again, or shots"...
We order that drink and somewhere in the back of our minds we know this IS A HORRIBLE IDEA, but we do it anyway... besides, we learned a lot over this past week. We learned what not to do, but we're adults right? Drinking is legal right? We just want to take the edge off...
We have the drink and sometimes we behave ourselves. Sometimes after a period of being dry we put so much damn will power on watching our drinking we don't get compeltely wasted but this only makes it worse. Now, we had our drink but didn't get as much as we really wanted. Now that little child in us is banging his hand on the table because it didn't get to drink how it wanted...
Then, for me, always followed the next big drunk. Remember when I told my wife not to let me order whiskey or shots? Now I'm laughing at that. Now I'm taking swigs directly from the bottle in the kitchen. Now I'm timing myself to make sure I drink a beer in 10 minutes so I get the correct amount of buzz going. Now, I'm making sure any restaurant that we go to serves alcohol....
That's my pattern. I've done this hundreds of times. Not anymore. One day at a time I stay sober. I wish you the best!
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