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Old 05-11-2012, 10:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
New beginnings are the best!
 
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lOST IT


I drank tonight. a;a9 I feel like a total failure. I'm eating vegetables because I think somehow it will override my drunk. I want to cry. I feel like total ass.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
I'm here to learn!
 
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You're not an ass. Dump out whatever you have left, go to bed, and start out again tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I agree with Josh.

Like I just said to someone else tonight there's very few of us here who got it right straight off.

This is just a blip, it's not the whole journey.

Regroup tomorrow and look at what happened, and why - think about what else you need to do - and then draw a big fat line under all of this and move on

D
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Good advice...Learn what you can from it and keep going...That's all you can do.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Please don't be hard on yourself - tomorrow is another chance to try again. We're only human. You say a prayer for me, and I'll do the same for you big hugs!
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Pick yourself up, dust of the woe is me's and make plans for how this isn't going to happen again. This is an opportunity for you to learn something about yourself and your addiction. Do not squander the valuable opportunity you have been given. Use it and remember that you can only move forward from here.
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Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. -The Big Book of AA, Chapter 5 Page 58
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Old 05-12-2012, 12:02 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Have another go. beating yourself up will not change anything, and can feed into "what's the point?" which is risky, as it will lead you to give up on seeking sobriety.
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Old 05-12-2012, 01:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Yes pick yourself up and start over fresh in the morning... you don't have to suffer if you don't want to!
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Old 05-12-2012, 03:01 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Yup, itís just a blip on the chart. Donít let it turn into a bigger mistake by continuing. Try also to identify exactly what went wrong. There is a lesson in every mistake. If you can learn from it, there is true progress taking place.
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Old 05-12-2012, 03:05 AM   #10 (permalink)
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And also you can make it a learning experience: What went wrong, how to prevent this happening again?

Best wishes to you! I like the idea of vegetable therapy.
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Old 05-12-2012, 06:01 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Today is a new day, please don't be too hard on yourself. :ghug3

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Old 05-12-2012, 06:19 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Hey, there are not many of us who can't admit to making big mistakes in our recovery. I was sober for a few weeks, then blew it. It was part of my recovery, I had to prove to myself that I could never drink again!
Am done with that now and am 5 weeks sober.
This is just a blip. Pick yourself up and carry on.
You can do it, and we're all behind you xx
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Old 05-12-2012, 06:25 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Thumbs up

We learned not to dislike the person but
rather hate the drink and what it does to
us.

Arming ourselves with the knowledge
of the disease of alcoholism then applying
the tools of steps and principles to guide
us thru the day so we dont have to drink
is good practice.

Just like it is going to grammer school,
grade school, high school, college, we
go everyday with books, paper and pen
in hand ready to learn our lessons for
the day. We go to the library or home
to study and do homework to pass the
tests the next day.

Same thing with learning how to not
drink, drug, over eat, gamble etc.
each day.

Learning a new lesson takes lots of
studying, similar to learning a new
language. Practice practice practice
each day to learn ways to avoid those
triggers that make us do the things we
dont want to do and are not healthy for
us.

Some lessons take time to learn, but
dont give up. The reward or grade we
get each day is a sober one.

That's worth a gold star at the top of
your day or page.
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I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily basis for guidance, care and protection.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:14 AM   #14 (permalink)
New beginnings are the best!
 
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Wow. A BIG thank you to all of you. There is nothing like waking up to a bunch of love and support after a mistake was made. This is also helping me to learn more unconditional love, also. To love the person no matter how many times they fall. Thank you! I feel like someone ran over me today, as was expected.

Last night, I had my brother over and when him and my husband get together, there is often drinking. The last time they were both together though, I abstained and that was probably the hardest night of the week I was sober. But I did it anyway, which proves to me that I can do it again. But yesterday was so beautiful outside and my parents had our girls, so I felt the "freedom" that often triggers my drinking. Any of you parents with small children might understand.

Anyway, I decided to have a glass of wine and I said I'd have only 2 and then I'd stop. Just typing this makes me feel so stupid, because I had these thoughts this whole past week and I didn't give in to them until last night. My husband got drunk pretty quick and he started to get a little edgy and I saw it turning into anger, so I slowed down on my drinking then, because I didn't want to provoke it. But when his mood picked up, so did my drinking. And then out neighbors came outside with bottles of liquor and then eventually invited us in. A beer and 3 shots later, I was smoking cigarettes on the back porch and swaying because I had absolutely no balance. I remember the fish tank in their office. The fish were pretty, but I wish I had seen them sober. I remember talking with a gf on the phone about her failing relationship with her bf, and I can't remember if I gave her good advice or if I just sounded ridiculous. This all assures me that drinking is just an awful thing to do. I didn't even like being drunk last night. I felt like crap the whole night long, even when I first started. I don't like the numbing anymore. I officially do not like it. And when I stopped drinking last Thursday, I told myself I was done for good.

Thank you for letting me know that it's just a blip, and that I need to be easy on myself over this, and just see today as a new day to start fresh. I can tell you that I have nothing to be proud of when it comes to this. I feel like I can't say a thing about addiction, recovery, or anything at all, unless I am coming from my own personal experience. I say this because there is nothing to be proud of here and I'm laying it all out for people to see.

I feel terrible. Time to rest. Thank you all again. I appreciate you.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:23 AM   #15 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
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Not a failure - you've learned something valuable. You can do this - keep going & you will win. A new day's coming.
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A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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