FLA

I am beginning to realize I just can't find comfort any where. Ever since my first experience with withdrawals It's been like this. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, well not necessarily... I just don't feel normal. Now even when I drink I don't feel rite and before when I drank ALL my worries would go away now it's pretty much like being sober when I drink I still have anxiety and problems. I'm turning into a hypochondriac almost. Always worrying or trying to find something to be paranoid about etc... I'm so sick of it. I just wanna find a median to where I feel good all the time. I started drinkin to feel good in the first place and now it doesent even work and When I'm sober I don't feel good either. I just don't know what I need to do.

soberlicious

I would say you need to be completely off the booze for several weeks at least to see if the anxiety doesn't settle. I'm not sure from your post but it seems as if you are still drinking? Give your body a fair shot by getting completely clean. You can't know for sure what you're dealing with or how to move forward and address it while alcohol is still being introduced. Hang in there...

Fallow

I dont feel comfy in my own skin either a lot of times FLA. One thing that has helped me with that I think is just reading the Big Book. Some ideas that are similar to the serenity prayer just stick with me. I just started to let go of anxieties and say to myself 'Is this really worth stressing about' whenever they popped up which was daily and still. The other thing I ask myself is 'Is this within my control to change'. Most times the answer is no so I just have to keep going.

I wish I could force good feelings too but they come and go naturally now.

Zencat

I have all kinds of mental disorders that were once smoothed over with drink/dope. Then all that failed. It took some time to get balanced without all my self medicating and get stable on Pdoc med's. It all took time, one day at a time living free of drugs

FLA

Well I did have a few beers tonight about 4 and I stopped myself at that. At the moment I'm in a year lease so I can't just up and leave to get away from the drinking environment. I don't drink all the time at all anymore... I do wish I didn't at all tho. But I am use to not worrying about anything when alcohol is around. It's such a strange feeling I can't even describe it. It basically feels like I'm loosing my mind. When I'm sober it feels like I'm in a dream almost and everything isn't real kinda like a hangover. And when I drink everything I've learned about being sober and health risks associated with drinking flows through my head so I can't even enjoy drinking without worrying. Haha I don't know, I'm just utterly confused about sobriety. Gosh I wish i was 12 again and I could re do everything and live with zero responsibilities.

Change4good

FLA, alcohol isn't working for you anymore. Plain and simple. You are probably never going to be comfortable in your own skin if you have booze underneath it. Really.

Sorry to get all tough love on you, but you know what you need to do. Do it. Give up the alcohol.

Sending good energy your way.

Sapling

You always have excuses FLA...Till you're ready to do this....It's not going to be easy. You've been to AA before....Wasn't enough hot chicks for you or something right?....If you are serious about stopping for good...Go in there and learn the program...The 12 steps....What keeps people sober 20...30...40 years....For life. If you want to stop...Work for it...If you don't.....You know what your options are. And you're never going to move away from a drinking environment....But you can remove yourself from one. Good luck.

awuh1

Perhaps I’ve got this all wrong but it seems to me that you are being quite honest about how you feel. You don’t feel good. Drinking is not working very well anymore. Not drinking is not working very well.

Your solution is to alternate between brief periods of both drinking and not drinking. But that’s not working either.

I agree with soberlicious. You need to spend a long time without a drink, in order to feel good about not drinking. The problem is that there is something so important that it’s getting in the way. It’s the high value you place on how you feel right now. Until you can find something more important than the supreme value you place on “feel good now” I believe you will be trapped in a solution that does not work. You must find your own way out of this dilemma..... but here’s something that worked for me.

Try thinking of peace of mind not as coming from living your life on the basis of “feel good now” but from doing something meaningful with it.

Leemzer

I know four beers doesn't seem like a lot, but it is enough to make you feel bad. You have to be clean for a while to determine how you truly feel. Dig deep. You can do it!

Anna

So, since you're still drinking, you won't be able to feel the physical and mental benefits of being sober. You need to be sober for several weeks, I think, before you can feel those benefits.

And, no one feels good all the time, no one. The thing is you can learn how to cope when you don't feel so good, and believe that things will get better, which they will. You can try meditating, exercising, positive thinking - all those things will help you to get through the difficult days.

midgetcop

I can't say much that hasn't already been said better. FLA - I do feel like you are being honest about your conflicting thoughts and emotions. I can also see your ambivalence about 100% making a decision in regards to getting sober.

I can't stress this point enough: you *will* eventually become comfortable in your own skin, if you stop drinking. But we as alcoholics are used to instant gratification, and we want what we want NOW. That drives a lot of people back into the bottle, because this "sober thing isn't all it's cracked up to be". You're not going to instantaneously feel better once you stop drinking, but you'll at least be working towards it, and it WILL come. Not all at once, but bit by bit.

It definitely sounds like drinking isn't working for you anymore. Why prolong it further by continuing?

aeo1313

I totally understand.