Knock on my door
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
When I post in response to a newcomer and I hesitate about mentioning my spiritual experience as it might put them off or that AA helped me get sober. Even though I can't make meetings, its program is solid as far as I 'm concerned. Then I think what the heck this is my experience, post what happened.
I don't know anyone that responds well to the hard sell. I have noticed one of our beloved members who was very gungho at the beginning about a certain program has mellowed somewhat and the maturity and love that comes through her posts is quite inspiring. Just by the tone of her posts I know that she is working the program and the program is working for her.
We need to learn and practice tolerance, I am especially talking to myself here.
CaiHong
I don't know anyone that responds well to the hard sell. I have noticed one of our beloved members who was very gungho at the beginning about a certain program has mellowed somewhat and the maturity and love that comes through her posts is quite inspiring. Just by the tone of her posts I know that she is working the program and the program is working for her.
We need to learn and practice tolerance, I am especially talking to myself here.
CaiHong
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I like your response GFC so first of all I’ll respond to the OP.
The OP gave an example of someone who “was going through a tough time” and “needed support”. It was apparently suggested they go to AA. This was interpreted as telling the person they needed AA type recovery. I’m not sure what post was being referred to, but by the OPs description of it, I would make a very different interpretation. The suggestion to go to AA could have been specifically addressing the need for support. It’s my experience that face to face support from people (even better from those who know me personally) is much more effective than from people who don’t via the internet. Hence the response.
Regarding “living under a rock” (makes me think that the rock is alcohol and the “hard place” is the bottom). Ya. It may seem like everyone in the world knows that AA exists nearly everywhere. But that is in fact not the case. I am now posting in the “newcomers to recovery” forum. Many newcomers, in fact, do not know this. The evidence of this pops up all the time on this “newcomers” forum.
With respect to the point about addressing the OPs concerns I have to agree. There should be more specifics, for those persons who ask for them. People who are claiming that their method works should say how it worked for them, and be as specific as possible. It’s a bit more difficult when it comes to AA because, at least in part, you need to experience it (and not just a few meetings) to really understand how helpful it is. Being around a bunch of people who have gone through much of what you have and overcome it is invaluable. Unfortunately there is a lot of prejudice about the “type” of people who attend AA, ironically, from other alcoholics who have not attended nor attempted this recovery method.
The OP gave an example of someone who “was going through a tough time” and “needed support”. It was apparently suggested they go to AA. This was interpreted as telling the person they needed AA type recovery. I’m not sure what post was being referred to, but by the OPs description of it, I would make a very different interpretation. The suggestion to go to AA could have been specifically addressing the need for support. It’s my experience that face to face support from people (even better from those who know me personally) is much more effective than from people who don’t via the internet. Hence the response.
Regarding “living under a rock” (makes me think that the rock is alcohol and the “hard place” is the bottom). Ya. It may seem like everyone in the world knows that AA exists nearly everywhere. But that is in fact not the case. I am now posting in the “newcomers to recovery” forum. Many newcomers, in fact, do not know this. The evidence of this pops up all the time on this “newcomers” forum.
With respect to the point about addressing the OPs concerns I have to agree. There should be more specifics, for those persons who ask for them. People who are claiming that their method works should say how it worked for them, and be as specific as possible. It’s a bit more difficult when it comes to AA because, at least in part, you need to experience it (and not just a few meetings) to really understand how helpful it is. Being around a bunch of people who have gone through much of what you have and overcome it is invaluable. Unfortunately there is a lot of prejudice about the “type” of people who attend AA, ironically, from other alcoholics who have not attended nor attempted this recovery method.
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Knock Knock Knock.......door open ........(m) hello......we are Jehovahs witnesses and we are here to teach you about Jehovah.
(me)Are you two going to heaven.....pause......Yes
"Then I don't want to go there"........Door Slam.
This was my old standard now I am polite and usaully carry on a little small talk before stating that I am spiritually set and wishing them well on down the road to the next door. Yes love and tolerance are the key words now especially since I have been knocking on a few doors for AA.
(me)Are you two going to heaven.....pause......Yes
"Then I don't want to go there"........Door Slam.
This was my old standard now I am polite and usaully carry on a little small talk before stating that I am spiritually set and wishing them well on down the road to the next door. Yes love and tolerance are the key words now especially since I have been knocking on a few doors for AA.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
"I think many people are afraid of it because it's a part of that "alcoholic" image/stereotype that we all have problems with at first."
An standard which I, heroically, tried to satisfy.
Honestly, I used to wake up and say to myself, "This being a blackout drunk is just not working out!". Usually as I scanned my e-mail, text message log and outgoing calls to see whom I might have outraged.
"I'm having obsessive thoughts and really think I want to drink." Proper response; "Get to a meeting. Call your sponsor. Call someone in your group."
"My mom passed away and I'm feeling lost and alone." Proper response; "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do? I hope you can call someone. You shouldn't be alone right now. I'll say a prayer for you. Please stay in touch."
An standard which I, heroically, tried to satisfy.
Honestly, I used to wake up and say to myself, "This being a blackout drunk is just not working out!". Usually as I scanned my e-mail, text message log and outgoing calls to see whom I might have outraged.
"I'm having obsessive thoughts and really think I want to drink." Proper response; "Get to a meeting. Call your sponsor. Call someone in your group."
"My mom passed away and I'm feeling lost and alone." Proper response; "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do? I hope you can call someone. You shouldn't be alone right now. I'll say a prayer for you. Please stay in touch."
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
^ just wait til I get my fish and chips 
I think everybody shares from their own experience and a place of love.
Everyone wants to share what has worked for them.
Sometimes in our enthusiasm yes I think we can share too insistently - I know I have - but I think people learn after a while it's not necessary to do that here
I like what my friend Ann says - share once and I'm sharing my experience - share more than once with the same thoughts and I might just be posting more about myself and what I think you need....
D
I think everybody shares from their own experience and a place of love.
Everyone wants to share what has worked for them.
Sometimes in our enthusiasm yes I think we can share too insistently - I know I have - but I think people learn after a while it's not necessary to do that here
I like what my friend Ann says - share once and I'm sharing my experience - share more than once with the same thoughts and I might just be posting more about myself and what I think you need....
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Originally Posted by SOBERINNEPA 
."I'm having obsessive thoughts and really think I want to drink." Proper response; "Get to a meeting. Call your sponsor. Call someone in your group."
"Proper" to me means appropriate to the situation. Everyone is different and not one thing works for everyone. That's all I'm saying - I'm not against AA, how could I be? I just think that giving out the same response for every different problem or question on SR is a waste of time for everyone involved. For some people, yeah, it's great. For many others, it's not and that's not going to change just because you do it over and over again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Originally Posted by Dee74
I like what my friend Ann says - share once and I'm sharing my experience - share more than once with the same thoughts and I might just be posting more about myself and what I think you need....
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Some people are a bit heavy handed but I think in a lot of cases, it's just because AA is the best known program/treatment, and fairly universal. I don't do AA, I have other support, but whatever you do I think that support/guidance can be crucial, and some people just don't do that well on their own, so I always encourage people to seek out their local support options in recovery.
I'm a Christian but I don't believe in door knocking, I believe more in setting a good personal example, and that also seems to be the general philosophy of AA. There are signs you can get to place on your door to say no to unsolicited callers btw, probably easiest solution.
I'm a Christian but I don't believe in door knocking, I believe more in setting a good personal example, and that also seems to be the general philosophy of AA. There are signs you can get to place on your door to say no to unsolicited callers btw, probably easiest solution.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Where the sun is always shining
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by CaiHong
When I post in response to a newcomer and I hesitate about mentioning my spiritual experience as it might put them off or that AA helped me get sober. Even though I can't make meetings, its program is solid as far as I 'm concerned. Then I think what the heck this is my experience, post what happened.
I don't know anyone that responds well to the hard sell. I have noticed one of our beloved members who was very gungho at the beginning about a certain program has mellowed somewhat and the maturity and love that comes through her posts is quite inspiring. Just by the tone of her posts I know that she is working the program and the program is working for her.
We need to learn and practice tolerance, I am especially talking to myself here.
CaiHong
I don't know anyone that responds well to the hard sell. I have noticed one of our beloved members who was very gungho at the beginning about a certain program has mellowed somewhat and the maturity and love that comes through her posts is quite inspiring. Just by the tone of her posts I know that she is working the program and the program is working for her.
We need to learn and practice tolerance, I am especially talking to myself here.
CaiHong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Where the sun is always shining
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by Firehazard
Knock Knock Knock.......door open ........(m) hello......we are Jehovahs witnesses and we are here to teach you about Jehovah.
(me)Are you two going to heaven.....pause......Yes
"Then I don't want to go there"........Door Slam.
This was my old standard now I am polite and usaully carry on a little small talk before stating that I am spiritually set and wishing them well on down the road to the next door. Yes love and tolerance are the key words now especially since I have been knocking on a few doors for AA.
(me)Are you two going to heaven.....pause......Yes
"Then I don't want to go there"........Door Slam.
This was my old standard now I am polite and usaully carry on a little small talk before stating that I am spiritually set and wishing them well on down the road to the next door. Yes love and tolerance are the key words now especially since I have been knocking on a few doors for AA.
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