Sober just 6 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 8
Sober just 6 days
I'm sober for just a few days, but I have been trying to get to this point for several years.
I just know that I'm going to stay sober this time!
I'm going away soon for the weekend with my husband and some friends. This is something we do several times a year. There is a lot of drinking. This will be the first time I will not drink. I plan to say that I've just decided not to drink anymore because it doesn't agree with me. I'm not going to allow people to get into a deep discussion about it with me, so I think I can handle that part.
But I'm afraid that being in that heavy drinking environment is going to be very difficult and the temptations great. But I am determined.
I would be grateful for any suggestions of tips on how to handle this social situation. (I definitely cannot 'not go', these people are close friends, the men drink, the women are more social drinkers)
I just know that I'm going to stay sober this time!
I'm going away soon for the weekend with my husband and some friends. This is something we do several times a year. There is a lot of drinking. This will be the first time I will not drink. I plan to say that I've just decided not to drink anymore because it doesn't agree with me. I'm not going to allow people to get into a deep discussion about it with me, so I think I can handle that part.
But I'm afraid that being in that heavy drinking environment is going to be very difficult and the temptations great. But I am determined.
I would be grateful for any suggestions of tips on how to handle this social situation. (I definitely cannot 'not go', these people are close friends, the men drink, the women are more social drinkers)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North America
Posts: 1,628
Congrads on your six days bluebird! Thats no small feat~~~~
hmmmm....bring an "important" work project that calls for your attention? An important report to read? how about, pretend you are on the clock and you work there...your job is to look after folks and coordinate things? hey, the only way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas!
hmmmm....bring an "important" work project that calls for your attention? An important report to read? how about, pretend you are on the clock and you work there...your job is to look after folks and coordinate things? hey, the only way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Bluebirdtwo!
Congrats on 6 days - that's great!
I doubt I would have been able to handle a situation like you described at 6 days. With family, I might have been able to do it, but I'd have to let them know what was going on so that I'd feel free enough to be "anti-social" if I had to.
I knew I was going to stay sober, too, but in those early days a craving can hit you like a two-by-four......
Congrats on 6 days - that's great!
I doubt I would have been able to handle a situation like you described at 6 days. With family, I might have been able to do it, but I'd have to let them know what was going on so that I'd feel free enough to be "anti-social" if I had to.
I knew I was going to stay sober, too, but in those early days a craving can hit you like a two-by-four......
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Take a case of bottled water with you...And always have one with you....People don't ask you if you want something to drink when you have one in your hand.....And you don't need to explain anything...Just say you're not drinking this weekend.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Bluebirdtwo 
I would be grateful for any suggestions of tips on how to handle this social situation. (I definitely cannot 'not go', these people are close friends, the men drink, the women are more social drinkers)
Is there NOBODY there that doesn't drink? Do they know that you are quitting drinking? (If they are close friends they should know). Is there somewhere you can "excuse yourself" to to get away from the festivities? Is your husband fully on board with your sobriety? Can you rely on his help if the peas and carrots hit the fan?
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 8
I'm not sure how to reply
I wanted to reply to everybody individually but I'm new to this and couldn't find the individual reply button.
Thanks for your support and tips etc.
I haven't told anybody that I have stopped drinking. My husband is just back from a business trip and hasn't noticed (I'm very good at hiding my drinking).
I just can't seem to summon up the courage to tell my family (who know that I have a drinking problem, even though I pretend that they don't). I feel so ashamed and stupid and weak. There is also a pride thing going on, I think.
I wish there was a courage pill I could take.
I don't know anybody in my circle of friends and acquaintances that doesn't drink. I live in Europe, more people drink here than in the US for example, most of them socially I would say, but of course there are plenty of people who have problems with drinking too much, like anywhere else.
Thanks for your support and tips etc.
I haven't told anybody that I have stopped drinking. My husband is just back from a business trip and hasn't noticed (I'm very good at hiding my drinking).
I just can't seem to summon up the courage to tell my family (who know that I have a drinking problem, even though I pretend that they don't). I feel so ashamed and stupid and weak. There is also a pride thing going on, I think.
I wish there was a courage pill I could take.
I don't know anybody in my circle of friends and acquaintances that doesn't drink. I live in Europe, more people drink here than in the US for example, most of them socially I would say, but of course there are plenty of people who have problems with drinking too much, like anywhere else.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 8
That's a great idea. I have noticed before that when we get together there is rarely any water on the table, occasionally there is cola or something, which I don't drink, but I'll bring my own supply of water this time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi and welcome bluebird
I had to make a lot of changes when I finally got sober - and reorder my priorities - nothing is as important as my continued sobriety cos without that I lose everything else anyway.
I simply would not put myself in this weekend situation so soon. I know it''s probably not what you want to hear, but I have to be honest. There's very few ways to get away yourself when you're away for the weekend.
I spent years going to things I knew would be a huge temptation for me - I didn't want to let people down - it's curious to me I never once thought about how I was letting myself down when I caved in, joined the gang, and drank.
D
I had to make a lot of changes when I finally got sober - and reorder my priorities - nothing is as important as my continued sobriety cos without that I lose everything else anyway.
I simply would not put myself in this weekend situation so soon. I know it''s probably not what you want to hear, but I have to be honest. There's very few ways to get away yourself when you're away for the weekend.
I spent years going to things I knew would be a huge temptation for me - I didn't want to let people down - it's curious to me I never once thought about how I was letting myself down when I caved in, joined the gang, and drank.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Bluebird
I totally agree with Dee. I feel it is too early in sobriety to take the risk.
I didn't tell my family when I stopped drinking, they are not very supportive. I did have a couple of friends that I did tell and one in particular was fantastic as she had always known drink was a big problem in my life.
I remember Eliasson, one of our members, faced with the same dilemma.
She armed herself with lots of reading material on alcoholism if I recall. I would take a big book.:rotfxko If you decide to go.
Helps to block out the noise of the addictive voice.
Stay in touch with us
CaiHong
I totally agree with Dee. I feel it is too early in sobriety to take the risk.
I didn't tell my family when I stopped drinking, they are not very supportive. I did have a couple of friends that I did tell and one in particular was fantastic as she had always known drink was a big problem in my life.
I remember Eliasson, one of our members, faced with the same dilemma.
She armed herself with lots of reading material on alcoholism if I recall. I would take a big book.:rotfxko If you decide to go.
Helps to block out the noise of the addictive voice.
Stay in touch with us
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 25
Hi Bluebird,
I just wanted to say "hello" because we have something in common- we're both on day 6!!!
I wish I could give you some insight into my sobriety, but, like I said, it's only been six days so I'm hardly qualified. I do wish you luck on your trip though.
I just wanted to say "hello" because we have something in common- we're both on day 6!!!
I wish I could give you some insight into my sobriety, but, like I said, it's only been six days so I'm hardly qualified. I do wish you luck on your trip though.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Republic of Ireland
Posts: 93
Just don't go. Think of your sobriety first of all.
I was two weeks sober. Flying it, and feeling good. WoW, what a feeling!
We were then invited to my daughters house-party. Made a load of food, took my own water. But when the alchoholstarted doing the rounds I fell for it! Asked for half a glass, then another and another. It's always the first drink what sets the alchoholic off again.
Please just don't do it!
I was two weeks sober. Flying it, and feeling good. WoW, what a feeling!
We were then invited to my daughters house-party. Made a load of food, took my own water. But when the alchoholstarted doing the rounds I fell for it! Asked for half a glass, then another and another. It's always the first drink what sets the alchoholic off again.
Please just don't do it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 879
Bluebird, when I first got sober I just had to make changes in my life. You do not have to go! If no one "gets it", that's their problem. Your husband can still go, he can do as he will. One of my favorite side effects of solid recovery is knowing I am only in charge of myself.
I didn't go to any parties or events for about 5-6 months after first getting sober. I think one charity walk was it. My sobriety is the most important thing in the world.
I didn't go to any parties or events for about 5-6 months after first getting sober. I think one charity walk was it. My sobriety is the most important thing in the world.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Truckee, CA
Posts: 30
Hi BlueBird2,
Wow! There was a guy on here a few days ago who wanted to test himself at a "drinking" restaurant with his wife for a meal, but a whole weekend of drinking? Me, I am day 2 and not ready for the grocery store. Still there have been other quits for me where I was really determined and did okay at an event--but it was 2 hours and drinking was incidental. Still I couldn't imagine a whole weekend.
If you are determined to go, someone made good comments about water. Yes, stay overly hydrated. I would say overeat. Keep that stomach full. Someone on the threads suggested writing 30 reasons why you will never drink again and bring it with you wherever you go--and look at it often. Maybe they should have an app for that?
Wishing you the best with your decision.
Wow! There was a guy on here a few days ago who wanted to test himself at a "drinking" restaurant with his wife for a meal, but a whole weekend of drinking? Me, I am day 2 and not ready for the grocery store. Still there have been other quits for me where I was really determined and did okay at an event--but it was 2 hours and drinking was incidental. Still I couldn't imagine a whole weekend.
If you are determined to go, someone made good comments about water. Yes, stay overly hydrated. I would say overeat. Keep that stomach full. Someone on the threads suggested writing 30 reasons why you will never drink again and bring it with you wherever you go--and look at it often. Maybe they should have an app for that?
Wishing you the best with your decision.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central California
Posts: 246
I agree with Dee's advice. In the early days of our sobriety it's best not to put ourselves in compromised positions. Explain how you feel to your husband and how important being sober is to you. Best wishes to you. Grateful Heart.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 138
I just celebrated a year last week and I had to change my social schedule in early recovery. I found it to hard to be around people who were drinking early on. I would suggest you to talk to your husband and get his support. Recovery is hard and the support of your husband will help. Your drinking has affected your whole family whether you think so or not. I thought I was good at hiding it too, but my husband knew what I was doing. I decided I would rather be sober at home than out with friends drinking. Put your recovery first, not the feelings of your friends. Find a plan of recovery, commit to it, and follow through. I am glad I was selfish in early recovery and made my recovery my number one priority. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome.
Day 6 is awesome and it is not up to me to say if you go or not. This is your journey.
If your husband has any idea what you are going thru and is any support for you then really he would understand and maybe take a raincheck on this trip. But again, I don't know your lifestyle and what you've been accustomed to -or what your relationship is like.
I, on the other hand, was a stay at home drinker, although I could balance a barstool with the best of them. Since quitting, after 30 years, I have made major life changes and happiness choices for myself. I understand that you maybe in a relationship and lifestyle where change is difficult.
But for me, it was my only hope. Change has to start within yourself. I had to be selfish and think of me over what others would say or how they'd react.
Once I realized that change was not scary and it was actually fun, it made it easier day by day to change the things that I have done or thought -for years. I am on a completely different level of thought now.
If I was obligated to go on a trip in early sobriety with drinkers right this minute I would say no.
Day 6 is awesome and it is not up to me to say if you go or not. This is your journey.
If your husband has any idea what you are going thru and is any support for you then really he would understand and maybe take a raincheck on this trip. But again, I don't know your lifestyle and what you've been accustomed to -or what your relationship is like.
I, on the other hand, was a stay at home drinker, although I could balance a barstool with the best of them. Since quitting, after 30 years, I have made major life changes and happiness choices for myself. I understand that you maybe in a relationship and lifestyle where change is difficult.
But for me, it was my only hope. Change has to start within yourself. I had to be selfish and think of me over what others would say or how they'd react.
Once I realized that change was not scary and it was actually fun, it made it easier day by day to change the things that I have done or thought -for years. I am on a completely different level of thought now.
If I was obligated to go on a trip in early sobriety with drinkers right this minute I would say no.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
