BackToSquareOne

In my mind the desire to quit more than you want to drink is the most important thing. No rehab on the planet can make you want that, it comes from within. I have been to rehab and can tell you that they have no special magic to offer. As others have said mine was just an expensive introduction to AA. AA is free on the outside but again the desire has to come from you.

eh1988

Tony, I definitely know how you feel. The day I saw my mom crying, on her knees in the drive way as I got into my friends car to spend yet another night out drinking will haunt me forever. This was a little over a year ago, she knew of my addiction and she knew it was spiraling out of control. I'll never forget the feeling I had that night/next day. No amount of alcohol in the world could numb the pain. Shot after shot, beer after beer for 48 straight hours and I could not erase the image of my mom. Not sure why I didn't try sobriety sooner, but after seeing my fiance crying a few months ago, over the same horrible reasons that my mom was crying..... I finally decided I had enough, I can't go on hurting people that I truly love and care about, and who truly love and care about me. I'm far from being where I want to be, but I'm on the right path with over 30 days sober. I can tell you right now, whole heartedly, I am a completely changed person. Your mom loves you, and I'm sure you love her to. Not taking the money shows you are at least honest with her, but you know what she wants, she wants to see her son sober. I guarantee you, the feeling, the warmth, the joy, you will recieve from your mom when she sees you with some sober days behind you, and sobriety in your future, will more than make up for those feelings of letting your mom down everytime you pick up a drink. My mom has cried the past 2 times I visited (sober)......but they're tears of joy. Best feeling in the world. My best wishes to you Tony, God Bless.

Tony88

Trust me i know what it's doing to her and I feel terrible! I recently moved back home and she's really seem the first hand of my problem since then. She's been out to wake me up at 4 in the morning when I've passed out in my truck in the driveway. She woke me up in the yard with a bag of beer cans by me.

She's been in tears and hates to see me like this. Honestly I hate what I've become... She's been a great mom and I love her and she loves me even after seeing what's become of me.

Not only am I hurting her but my brother as well. Honestly this site is great! I read about all the folks that got sober and changed their ways, but for me as terrible as it sounds and what I've done to my mom and brother I'm not sure I wanna stop.

Maybe I need something to smack me in the face to realize it?

eh1988

Trust me, you don't wanna wait for that to happen. Because I assure you, it will. I was very lucky to realize my problem and come to reality before I lost my girl, my house, my car, my job etc.... I know there are people here who have, I'm very blessed to have what I have, and so are you, don't wait for that to leave before you make a change. What are your biggest hurdles when it comes to quitting?

Sapling

Everything you need to know about AA is in that book....You just need to read it till you understand it.

Sapling

I just hope it's not falling asleep in your truck while you are driving Tony....That would suck. I think you have more than enough reasons to quit...And I can promise you it doesn't get better with drinking.