Emjay40

I was very honest with her. It felt amazing (even though it was difficult) to unburden myself and tell her exactly what I've been doing to myself.

She was amazing with me. She talked me through the diagnostic criteria for addiction, and we discussed me never drinking again. It wasn't hard for me to agree with her that I need to stop for good. The thought still scares me, but I know what I need to do.

She also put my mind at rest somewhat about the medical side of things, and was very encouraging about my forthcoming full health check next week.

I feel as though I'm thinking clearly for the first time in years. I know I'm only at the very beginning of the road, but I feel optimistic about my chances. I haven't felt this determined in a very long time.

One week away from the dreaded booze, and already feeling so much better. I'm so pleased I took this step.

Thanks to all who have encouraged me so far........

Sapling

Good for you...What does she suggest for staying stopped?

jobei

Nothing wrong with optimism!!! The world needs a lot more of it! Keep it up.

ChrisT

well done

Emjay40

She suggested I keep talking. AA isn't possible for me as there simply isn't one close, and she actually agreed it might not be the right thing at this point.

I'm going to need lots of determination, and if I feel I may be in danger of relapse, I have her mobile so I can call her.

She suggested I find another focus, something to distract me on the evenings when I would normally drink (Friday, Saturday, Sunday). I've already begun a plan to fill this 'danger' time. I love to write, so I'm going to pursue that.

She also suggested I get a man....but that's not an option for me lol!

Sapling

That's great that you can call her if you need to...Don't be afraid to use that tool..If you get tired of writing you can spend time on here and help others...That never hurts....I know in AA they don't recommend relationships right off the bat...Probably better to get some time on yourself first....That's cool...Good for you on the honesty..Things seem to work out better when you are.

Dominica2

Great news! Keep on!

Emjay40

I'll definitely stay on here and support people, as well as charting my own progress. I'm hoping my next writing project will also help others in my situation.

I know there's a long way to go, but I'm definitely heading the right way.

eJoshua

Well done on your sober time.

It's good that you have a therapist you feel you can be open with. I would take advantage of that as much as possible.

sugarbear1

I'm glad you were honest with your therapist, but it's clear to me that she is not well educated in alcoholism. Have you considered looking at the AVRT site?

Zencat

I myself was amazed how being optimistic and determined could have such power to help me turn my life around. That's is what empowerment can do, tapping into my hidden potential to bring about great positive changes in life.

CaiHong

Hi Emjay,
great to hear. It is is important to keep motivated, especially at the beginning. it is good that you have someone to to talk to about your addiction but I agree with Sugarbear she sounds like she is not that well informed about recovery.
Why would she think that AA would not be a good idea at this point? Because of where I live and my work committments I find it difficult to make meetings but I read the Big Book and listen to AA speakers.
I find the program of AA and this forum are keeping me sober, my life has never been so good.
IMHO the last thing you need in your life at the moment is the complication of a new
relationship.
Welcome and keep posting
CaiHong

2granddaughters

I wish you the best in your recovery..

AA will be there if you need it. I can find a meeting as close as I can find a party store if I ask and look.

Bob R

DayTrader

Yup, sure will be.

Two of my FAVORITE ppl in recovery are in AA.....and both are substance abuse therapists. (some of my fav. AA open talk speakers made "recovery" their profession as well).

The knowledge is great Emjay....personally, it's one of my favorite things to learn about how I operate and how we humans move thorough life. In and of itself though, it wasn't and isn't enough to keep me sober an happy. Hopefully it will be for you and, like 2GD said, if it isn't....the doors of AA will always be there.

sugarbear1

Public apology for posting a link to AVRT. Apparently this is not allowed. Please search AVRT for information.

Statement made for others to learn about copyright and infringement or to just not post that link.

DisplacedGRITS

Since you like to write have you considered journaling? Many people find it helpful and therapeutic.

Emjay40

Thanks Bob

There isn't an AA near me. I would have to make a 2 hr long round trip to the nearest one. As a single mum who works full time, that would mean finding babysitters etc regularly. I don't have the money for that.
I live in a foreign country, and whilst I speak the language, I don't speak the local (heavy) dialect. It's also a very Catholic area, and my therapist knows that the closest AA group to here is very religion focused. I'm not in the least bit religion focused. It's for these reasons my therapist agrees it may not be the best thing for me at this time. It's not that she doesn't understand what's required to recover. She understands me and my particular needs. I'm very comforted that I spoke with her at such length.

Maybe later if/when I decide to move from the backwater where I currently live. It would be worth looking into AA then.

I will definitely journal as well. That's going to be part of the new writing project.

Tonight I'll go running for the first time in two years. Probably more of a fast walk....but I'm looking forward to it!

freshstart57

What an inspiring post, Emjay. I remember looking at things after a week without alcohol - that feeling of being at the top of the first roller coaster hill, the sheer terror and apprehension, was passing and being replaced with a quiet joy, a serenity and a new appreciation of everything around me. Those feelings have only deepened for me over these past months.

Sapling nailed a great point - helping others helped me immensely during that time. It solidified my resolve and took me out of my head.

AA doesn't ring the right bells with some people for a variety of reasons and there are other choices. The choice of tools you use to get and stay sober is not important in my mind. What really counts is your absolute determination and confidence that you will succeed, and that you will do anything to make it happen. ANYTHING!!!

You seem to have this idea firmly embedded in your mind and in your heart. I think you will be just fine. Keep posting please, MJ. You have a power to inspire others that you don't appreciate yet!

Anna

Emjay, I am so glad that you are ready and willing to stop drinking.