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Old 03-12-2012, 07:45 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I give up, I completely miss the point of the whole post, sure the dude needs help, he also needs to keep his gf, sorry folks, my bad
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:51 PM
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Dan, I think what has happened is that he has broken trust with his girlfriend so money or vacations won't touch that. definitely not bashing on you, but I've broken trust and it's the hardest thing to repair.
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:04 PM
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I think you're right to be terrified, that sounds like a terrifying experience, especially when it could threaten the foundation of a relationship that means a lot to you.

Hopefully this has served as a wake-up-call for you, but I would prepare yourself for the possibility of there being no negative repercussions. The reason I say you ought to prepare yourself for that is because if you are an alcoholic it's likely that if nothing bad results from your experience, if you patch things up with your gf and get tested and come out ok on the std's, somehow determine that nothing happened between you and the stripper, whatever, if nothing bad happens then you will begin to rationalize your drinking again.

The terror you're feeling now is very important, because in time the frightening nature of the things that our drinking drives us to do fades in impact, and we grow calloused to the damage we are causing ourselves and others. I did terrible things in the depths of my drinking, and had I paid attention to the warning signs my instincts gave me I would have never driven myself to do them, but my alcoholic nature always reasoned that since I got through it then it must be ok to hit the bottle again.

Good luck and best wishes, I hope everything works out.
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:52 PM
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Hey hcd, alcohol has made an idiot of me on more than one occasion. Good move coming here and hitting a meeting tonight. Worry about yourself first, then the girlfriend situation. **** luck.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:14 PM
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Welcome to SR. I've had idiot moments. I was nearly raped at a sci-fi convention by people who were supposed to be friends. My husband was so drunk he didn't know where i was and i was passed out on a bed in my "friend's" room. Glad you're going to AA. Make a habit of it! We all have our horror stories.
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Old 03-13-2012, 12:14 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Thank you

Thanks everyone who answered and helped. OCDDan, thanks for making me laugh. I get what you were going for an I hear you. Jitterbug and Dominica2, thank you for somehow making me feel less isolated, at least. And dawnrunner, I will.

I feel like I owe you an update. I didn't make AA because I got kicked out -- justifiably -- and had to catch a bus to my parents' house. They don't drink at all though, and I told them everything, and that I'm done with booze. They listened and somehow didn't judge. So I have that: f-ing incredible parents. I realize that's a lot more than most people get. I haven't drank (drunken? had a drink?) since last week. They definitely won't let me. I don't know about meetings around them, but I'm going to look because it looks like I'll be staying here.

eJoshua: Yes. That's exactly the kind of thing I would do. So thank you.
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Old 03-13-2012, 01:12 PM
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I'm sure you can find meetings around....Maybe it's good you got kicked out....I know when my ex-wife gave me the boot I learned from it...Nice job on not drinking since last week...Keep it up and keep us up to date on how your recovery is going.
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Old 03-13-2012, 01:29 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Pain hurts, mental pain hurts, blackouts hurt, the only way to not have this happen ever again is to stay sober. My mind always wants to tell me that I can be successful at drinking-that is a LIE MY MIND TELLS ME-"that this time it will be different".
No! it will not be different, all that is left in the bottle for me is pain. Sobriety is the answer and opens the door to life and fun.
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Old 03-13-2012, 01:59 PM
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Sounds like something my ex would do...oh wait, she did.

Your parents are golden, nice to have people available with that kind of mature level of understanding as backup.
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:41 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Thank you. Your post could be my mantra. Thank you so much. I'm glad your life is better now.
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Old 03-13-2012, 08:37 PM
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I hope you girl takes you back eventually, but trust me bro I have done far worse. Thailand 12 days I was drunk the whole time. I doubt I have to elaborate further.
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Old 03-14-2012, 09:45 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Thanks everybody. I hope she does too. Going to what I'm sure will be a fun STD appointment tonight. I'm really, really grateful to have this thread to look back on the next time I think I can justify drinking. Thank you.
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Old 03-15-2012, 07:21 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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You think you got drunk and stripper had her way with you? Really? That's right, women prey on drunk guys and sexually assault them. I'm sure you were irresistible drunk and slurring your words. You didn't pay her for sex either, she just hustled you out of your money when you got drunk like taking candy from a baby. Come on.. Your ego is bruised not your frank and beans.

Sorry, that is just funny to me and I don't mean to kick you when you are down but I was a dancer and trust me NO ONE got laid in my club. I'm sure you are safe.
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Old 03-15-2012, 07:46 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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^ that is a good point.
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Old 03-15-2012, 09:04 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
hcd
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Zoenob, thank you. This is my exact hope. People definitely have had sex in this particular club -- my fear is what I may have done while blacked out. But why would anyone have sex if it hadn't been pre-negotiated, especially with a drunken mess? When I don't remember pushing for anything? Yeah.

Anyway, wake up call. Day 6.
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Old 03-15-2012, 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted by dawnrunner View Post
Go to a doctor or clinic and get tested for STD's and HIV nevertheless. That is urgently important. Do not subject your girlfriend to an unknown risk, or leave yourself possibly infected and untreated.
HIV can take up to 90 days to show up on a test. If it happen a few days ago then he have to wait with the test.
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Old 03-15-2012, 10:38 PM
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Originally Posted by hcd View Post
Zoenob, thank you. This is my exact hope. People definitely have had sex in this particular club -- my fear is what I may have done while blacked out. But why would anyone have sex if it hadn't been pre-negotiated, especially with a drunken mess? When I don't remember pushing for anything? Yeah.

Anyway, wake up call. Day 6.

Exactly.

In those clubs, those types of girls are hustlers and they don't want to sleep with you. They are pros at making you feel good and taking your money. They don't have anything to gain by sleeping with you when they can get the money out of you for "free" so to speak. Think about it, no one(even a ho) thinks, "hey look at that drunk guy I don't know, I think I will drag him in the corner and whip off my g string and have unprotected sex with him". The girls that turn tricks want your money as fast as they can get it and send you on your way. They wont hang out with you all night and seriously if you are drunk enough to black out, I'm sure you probably wouldn't be able to perform if you know what I mean.

Worrying about it will eat you up. Trust yourself but get your test to ease yours and your gf's mind.
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Old 03-16-2012, 09:45 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Zoenob, thanks very much for this. It's been a confusing few days and I just keep running through crazy scenarios. But I went and got tested, so. Thanks for a little peace of mind.
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Old 03-16-2012, 10:00 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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I agree with Zoenob, hcd. No girl in her right mind would do that. I think the most likely scenario is that you were really drunk, thought you wanted to do something with a pretty girl, and felt really generous. She probably just took your money and listened to some drunken ramblings until you "woke up" from your blackout and left. Glad you got tested for your peace of mind, and I'm glad you realize that you did not put yourself in a good situation, but you were the one who was blackout drunk, not her
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