Lost3000

This says my husband. What he's saying is that now, without alcohol, I am viewing life as it is. And I say it sucks. Well, some of it.


I've come to the realization that I do not like my job. Or one major aspect of it. And now I'm upset about it. Because I'm really stuck at my job, for now anyway. And "they" do say to not make any major life decisions in the first year. So I'm trying to do that.

Before, I would drown out the reality that my job sucks by drinking. Now, no more drowning out of reality.

Other than my job though, I'd say I like life.

Just thought I'd share that little tidbit I just picked up.

jocata

During my first stint at sobriety, I was working at a factory and I absolutely hated it. It's tough doing something you don't like day after day. I try to think of it as service work that I'm getting paid to do, and that I am contributing to my family. Makes it a little easier.

God bless.

Lost3000

I'm lucky, it's a good paying job and luxe in it's accommodations. But the people I work with, ick. The work itself is ok, it's the politics and conditions of my job. I'll try to remember that the job is not me. It's just something I do to pay the bills.

silly

your husband is/was in as much denial as you were. It's so much easier not to deal with what makes us unhappy... Now you know. But he may take more time. It's not sobriety that bothers him, it's your voice. That takes time... and what if you DO make a major change? That's probably scary for him. You don't have to give it a year. But give it ample time to work itself out!

midgetcop

I've had similar revelations since I've become sober. I enjoy my job still, but I've realized that my "best friend" is not so great of a friend. I've also come to realize that many of my friendships are shallow and don't appear to be based on any true affection or sincerity.

I think once the goggles come off the world comes into focus, and we don't always like what we see.

zxcirce

Hey Lost

The same thing has happened to me when I quit... for me it was also that when I stopped drinking I realized how effective the drinking had been at "covering up" these feelings I had all along.

Hate my job? Grin and bear it and get home and get smashed!

Husband on my nerves again? That's fine, soon I'll get happy and forget.

It's a huge adjustment. I kinda like the no big changes for 12 months but if it seriously starts affecting your satisfaction/happiness do not be afraid to do what you have to do to keep yourself safe.

Lost3000

Hey all, yeah, reality is here in front of me and I'm not gonna obliterate it.

I've realized for quite some time now that this will be an adjustment for my DH. Not so much with the job but with other things. He's adapted quite well. I think/hope he likes me better this way, but he's not a huge communicator so I'm not 100% sure about that. In some ways I'm sure he does wish I was drinking just so I'd STHU! LOL. But... he's been so supportive that I can only think he prefers life this way. He's really gone out of his way to support me.

I think that drinking aside, with today's economy I need to be careful regardless with my job. I'll try to hang in there. Honestly I think I need a vacation. If you guys can believe this, I'm pretty excited to have a vacay without boozing.

sober4metoday

Considering that a lot of people are still without work in the US I don't see anything wrong with gearing up for a new job now. Get your resume polished, research potential employers or new fields, go on a couple "test" interviews, take a certificate course or some college courses - get yourself primed and ready to re-enter the market! It may just give you the boost you need.

Of course, this is just my humble little opinion.

MustStop

I don't think a job that you hated so much that it needed vast amounts of alcohol to deal with is included in the "don't change anything for a year" rule book.

That was a trigger, do what you can to find a replacement job

(been there myself)

macknacat

couple of observations: i was unemployable for almost my entire first year in recovery . so when i was finally able to work i was absolutely humble - just kept my mouth shut for months .

Eventually, as they say, I owned the company.

And- if any relationship is dysfunctional - I am speaking here mostly about job sites- if its dysfunctional then my experience is that I really have just 3 options- 1]change what i am capable of changing [mostly ME] 2]accept what i cannot change and change my attitude about it or 3] leave the situation

Dee74

unless the reasons are pressing, I always counsel people to give it 90 days or so before acting on any major changes

I know myself I was a very different person at day 90 than I was at day 1...in fact I was many different people in that period LOL.

It was good for me to wait until I knew who 'me' was.
D

GirlFromCO

Sorry to hear that, Lost. Whenever I find myself frustrated with my job, I double down on the "me" stuff I do outside of work. Hiking, painting, knitting, heck even cleaning sometimes. It helps me feel like I'm not my job, my job is not my life. Can you take a long weekend off? The weather has been reeeeaally nice - maybe you just need a little break.

CaiHong

Hi Lost,

prior to getting sober I was so fed up with my job, couldn't,t wait to finish so I could reward myself with a drink. I so wanted a change but didn't,t know what I wanted.

Strange, 9 months sober and the job is not so bad in fact I enjoy it most of the time but I still want a change. I also said to myself I should wait a year before I made any drastic changes. This is where it does get quit amazing, while on holidays I bought a business the, the vendor said he would be willing for me to take over June 1st, that will be exactly one
year sober for me.

My point is early in sobriety stay put, work on your sobriety keep your self open and primed for new opportunities. Also remember emotions are all over the place early in sobriety, I can't stress that enough.

Disclaimer
That is only my experience and my timeline

CaiHong

newleaves2012

same boat here. been in my career for 17 years almost. it's stressful and my clients are affluent picky whiners, most of em anyway. so I'm sober now and it is hard dealing with that. I'm in the process of starting a masters degree online for professional counseling. gonna do it online through an accredited university. already have the undergrad psych degree hanging dormant on the wall. but I can't quit this job yet. maybe not for three more years.

Anna

You know that you're going through a period of adjustment at this point and so is your husband. I don't love my job either, and like you I try to be grateful for the fact of having the job. Some days are better than others. It has really helped me to know that I am not my job. My job is something that I do to make a living.

wpainterw

A job is something they pay you to do. If it was a lot of fun then they might charge you admission. And everyone would want to do it so you'd have a battle just getting in. But you got a job. Many folks don't have that. And you can keep your eyes open for other opportunities. No harm in looking around as long as you can keep it confidential. Keep your shoulder to the wheel, your nose to the grindstone and your ear to the ground! (sniffing the wind for something more congenial).

W.

Peter G

In FTW as best advice so far this week.

FlyerFan

What you're feeling is normal lost. I hated my job long before i quit drinking, but since I have stopped drinking and I have started attending AA I actually feel a little bit better about it.

Instead of letting your job stress you, try to let things go. I have really been making an effort to do that and it has been working. It is really kind of amusing because I used to run around my office ranting and cussing under my breath and now the girls i work with are like "are you alright hun? you're really calm today!" lmao!