langkah

Great, you sound much less lost now.

FMP1989

Well, some days are better than others ya know? Hopefully I can keep it up.
My Birthday is in 2 weeks and I feel like I wanna drink on that date for some type of celebration as birthdays can be pretty mundane usually. Sighhh
Wtf..I wanna throw back a couple beers or jack daniels for my birthday. Still on the fence :/

eJoshua

I think you have to work on training your brain to recognize that alcohol is a poison. It's not easy, but you have to break your cycle of thinking. We've grown so accustomed to thinking of alcohol as a necessity or a reward. It requires a lot of work to break the cycle, but once you recognize that alcohol is a negative influence on your life it really changes your whole perspective on the situation. You no longer feel sorry for yourself that you can't drink, but start to see your sobriety as a gift.

I hope you can stay sober and learn to change your thinking, whether that be through AA, AVRT or whatever. I really think you have to do something though.. just staying dry without changing your thinking is pure torture.

Best wishes!