4 Months Clean and Starting a New Job
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 5
4 Months Clean and Starting a New Job
Hi everyone.
This is my first post here. I just started a new job that has been very demanding. I am used to going 6 meetings a week, but I haven't been to one since I started my job. I was looking around on google for things to help me stay motivated with my recovery and i stumbled onto this page.
I am so thankful for the job. I haven't been employed in 6 months and my folks have been paying for my tuition at the sober house I live at along with my good and clothing, etc.
I got a job at a fine dining place and I realized I know nothing about food. I had to not only learn the menu, but i had to memorize every single ingredient in every single dish, then take a test every day before my training shift. the training guy said it was 2 weeks worth of stuff put into 6 days and boy he wasn't kidding. I work all day then I come home and make flash cards to study the ingredients. I haven't had any time for anything else. I don't even have time to do my chore at my recovery home.
I finally finished the 6 days tho and passed all of the tests, but now I have a 12 page final I have to take tomorrow and I must get a 95% on it to finish my training. I haven't hit a a meeting in over a week and I'm just burnt out. IU pray a lot which I seem to do when I'm in desperation mode. (one of my many character defects...I know I need to pray all the time.)
Typing this out is making me feel better. I'm not gonna lie. I've felt like using. Not like huge thoughts of it, but I'm an addict so when im done with a long day of work of course it crosses my mind. I don't think I've ever put in a long day of work and not gotten f**ked up after it until now. I Have many things that don't make me want to use, but the number one thing I think about is the fact that it would show that I was weak. That this job was too much for me and that I cracked under the pressure. A lot of people in my network have been asking me if they think it is too much for me to handle? and that they don't want me to lose sight of my recovery. This training week was hell. It is for one of the most prominent steak house's in Chicago and they don't mess around they want you to know everything within the snap of a finger. I have worked so hard for everything I've gotten back in the last 130-somthin days and I don't want to lose it. If I can just keep my recovery in the forefront of my mind and have this job the possibilities are endless for me.
This is my first post here. I just started a new job that has been very demanding. I am used to going 6 meetings a week, but I haven't been to one since I started my job. I was looking around on google for things to help me stay motivated with my recovery and i stumbled onto this page.
I am so thankful for the job. I haven't been employed in 6 months and my folks have been paying for my tuition at the sober house I live at along with my good and clothing, etc.
I got a job at a fine dining place and I realized I know nothing about food. I had to not only learn the menu, but i had to memorize every single ingredient in every single dish, then take a test every day before my training shift. the training guy said it was 2 weeks worth of stuff put into 6 days and boy he wasn't kidding. I work all day then I come home and make flash cards to study the ingredients. I haven't had any time for anything else. I don't even have time to do my chore at my recovery home.
I finally finished the 6 days tho and passed all of the tests, but now I have a 12 page final I have to take tomorrow and I must get a 95% on it to finish my training. I haven't hit a a meeting in over a week and I'm just burnt out. IU pray a lot which I seem to do when I'm in desperation mode. (one of my many character defects...I know I need to pray all the time.)
Typing this out is making me feel better. I'm not gonna lie. I've felt like using. Not like huge thoughts of it, but I'm an addict so when im done with a long day of work of course it crosses my mind. I don't think I've ever put in a long day of work and not gotten f**ked up after it until now. I Have many things that don't make me want to use, but the number one thing I think about is the fact that it would show that I was weak. That this job was too much for me and that I cracked under the pressure. A lot of people in my network have been asking me if they think it is too much for me to handle? and that they don't want me to lose sight of my recovery. This training week was hell. It is for one of the most prominent steak house's in Chicago and they don't mess around they want you to know everything within the snap of a finger. I have worked so hard for everything I've gotten back in the last 130-somthin days and I don't want to lose it. If I can just keep my recovery in the forefront of my mind and have this job the possibilities are endless for me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
We both need to figure out what makes us happy after a long day of work. I am one of those, "I deserve it" types. I work all day and I deserve a drink. But that's obviously a lie. I wonder what "deserve" means. Perhaps a hot bath after work. I know that I'm better off if I get home and put on slippers and pajamas.
Then maybe I can stay there...something I'm trying to learn.
Then maybe I can stay there...something I'm trying to learn.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
um, replace those using thoughts and the time you'd take to use to do your chore.
Call someone from your meetings...call your sponsor and work your steps. YOu have a sponsor, right? You've worked the steps, right? In 6 months, you must have learned that the solution is in the steps so you can "practice these principles in ALL your affairs" (I mean living LIFE). A long time ago there was only 1 meeting a week. You have employment, don't mess that up now!
Call someone from your meetings...call your sponsor and work your steps. YOu have a sponsor, right? You've worked the steps, right? In 6 months, you must have learned that the solution is in the steps so you can "practice these principles in ALL your affairs" (I mean living LIFE). A long time ago there was only 1 meeting a week. You have employment, don't mess that up now!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
can only echo Sugarb. I had to get that sponsor contact going. Had to remember to integrate recovery in all parts of life. Had to get creative - noon meetings, SR, journaling/step work at break time, even small chances to "carry the message" on my jobsites...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
Posts: 974
As a chef, JB, my front of house staff is so important. Just reading your post, I can FEEL your desire to succeed and I would be honored to have you work on my team. YOU make those of us behind the scenes successful. Keep up your sobriety, relax and recall what you have learned thus far. Don't let the test make you overly anxious - you've already passed the first one with flying colors - this will be a recap with a few new things tossed in. You can do this. And think of the end result - pockets full of tips from being an amazing, educated server. Let us know how it goes!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
Welcome Jimmy. SR will be one of your best stumbles in life 
Like Blondechef, I too can hear your desire. We're all here to support you. Post anytime...always someone here. Never mind that "you can do this"......YOU ARE DOING IT!!!
Like Blondechef, I too can hear your desire. We're all here to support you. Post anytime...always someone here. Never mind that "you can do this"......YOU ARE DOING IT!!!
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