Kat4184

O.k. So I find myself still dealing with the aftermath of destruction that my past drinking has caused. The reason that I quit drinking came down to a night of crazy behavior where I had been really abusive to one of my friends. Actually... the week before I had gotten arrested for punching my bestfriends roomate in the face. Then, the next week, we had a going away party for a fellow co-worker. A few of us ended up staying at the bar for awhile, and I don't remember much after that. Apparently I punched my friend in the face, punched the bartender in the face... went next door to my friend Margot's house, got in a fight with her, punched her, bit her in the leg (yeah)... She called my fiance to come and pick me up, but at that time I had already left. Some guys found me in the gutter and I woke up at their house. So, anyways, my friend Margot really had some harsh words to say... told me that I belonged in jail and was actually harassing me for a little while. And now... the real point of my story... a co-worker that works at the same restraunt as myself told me last night that she is getting a job at the same place that Margot works. I'm really embarassed and I'm sure that Margot is going to say all sorts of horrible things about me. How should I handle the situation? I don't want things spread all over my place of work. Rumors travel very quickly, and I don't want anyone of importance (or just anyone, really) to know about this situation.

MsJax

What I have learned in sobriety is to face the day head on. You can't control what the people in your life are going to say about you. People like to talk, that's what they do. But~you can make a new start anyday! How long have you been sober? You just have to let the past wreckage fall where it may. Your actions Now will speak for themselves. It is so hard to ignore gossip, but you need to let it go. You can only control yourself.

GirlFromCO

Hey Kat,

I'm not sure there is much you can do other than show everyone that you're committed to staying sober and not engaging in that kind of behavior anymore. Sometimes the messes we make take a while to sort themselves out, unfortunately. Did you apologize to Margot?

Dee74

I'm sorry Kat - I know I wished, more than once, that some of my drunken escapades weren't common knowledge either - but they were.

It was particularly hard to bear after I sobered up, but I took my lumps, and stayed sober - and gradually I stopped being 'that guy who...'

People really do have short memories generally

I guess you can hope for now that the subject of you doesn't ever come up, or you can hold your head up high about the changes you're making and file this away as another reason to be glad that's not your life anymore?

D

gravity

It sucks but this just another part of being a former drunk. My past behaviour was more common knowledge than I thought. It still comes up every now and then but I'm able to shrug it off. That was then, this is now. I'm a sober, responsible person today and that's all that really matters.

Kat4184

I've been sober now for 19? days or so... since the "incident." I did try apologizing to Margot, but that didn't work out so well. She started harassing me after I did. I do plan on apologizing to her again later, after I have some more time under my belt so that it has more merit, and she knows that I am serious. I feel much better about everything... but I just really don't want it floating around where I work. I like to keep my personal life personal, but oh well.

Impurrfect

(((kat))) - I'm almost 5 years into recovery and still dealing with consequences of my addiction (mostly financial and career-wise) but I've found that when I just kept working recovery, the people who had bad-mouthed me were either people I didn't need to keep in my life, or they realized that I was no longer that person.

I've also found out that the longer I work recovery, the fewer the consequences from those using days get. Yes, the 2 I'm dealing with now are tough, but I started out dealing with a LOT more, have rekindled old friendships, let others go, and I don't do stuff today that's going to cause me more bad consequences in the future.

I've had to apologize to quite a few people, but more than that? They SAW the change in me and that said way more than words ever could. Hold your head high because who you are today? It's not who you were 20 days ago.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

instant

It seems to be fairly accepted these days that people can have "meltdowns" that resolve and then they move on. whilst we may see it as alcohol related others seem to have no difficulty ascribing such behaviour to all manner of psychological reactions, unearthed emotional trauma, life stress and the like.

I used to think I didn't feel shame, but in reality my chronic social withdrawal was a protective mechanism in reaction to various alcohol related dramas.

The only cure for this is a fresh start in recovery.

jrsmama11

Story of my life. My line was "[My town] is too small." I think my drinking was too big.