The image of AA
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Would people get sober earlier if there wasn't a continuing stigma regarding alcoholism?
I'd say no, they would not. Alcoholics most often put off taking actions to get and stay sober for as long as they can. Your question implies alcoholics generally want to and have purposeful intentions to get sober but are held back, the victims of external forces.
When drinking we can check off participation in a long list of actions that involve breaking taboos and crashing through social stigmas, and we don't hesitate to continue stigmatizing ourselves even when we're busted repeatedly. Stigmas we often come to believe are for sissys. We're used to being caught acting antisocially and being perceived as such.
If we're too dainty and dandified to possibly allow ourselves to walk from the drunk tank into an AA meeting it's simply a cover for our desire to continue drinking.
I'd say no, they would not. Alcoholics most often put off taking actions to get and stay sober for as long as they can. Your question implies alcoholics generally want to and have purposeful intentions to get sober but are held back, the victims of external forces.
When drinking we can check off participation in a long list of actions that involve breaking taboos and crashing through social stigmas, and we don't hesitate to continue stigmatizing ourselves even when we're busted repeatedly. Stigmas we often come to believe are for sissys. We're used to being caught acting antisocially and being perceived as such.
If we're too dainty and dandified to possibly allow ourselves to walk from the drunk tank into an AA meeting it's simply a cover for our desire to continue drinking.
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Originally Posted by Zebra1275 
The social stigma, in part, kept me from admiting I was an alcoholic and seeking help.
The logic would go like this: She has a problem with alcohol, and alcoholics are known to have financial and reliability problems which could lead her to attempt fraud or theft, so we should get rid of her. It is a very, very real concern.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by PurpleCat
The social stigma is absolutely keeping me from something like AA. I am a higher level official in the finance field. Even though there is not, and never has been, any reason to think that I have been negligent in my job, the very possibility that I have a problem with alcohol could have negative repercussions on both my job and the image of my organization.
The logic would go like this: She has a problem with alcohol, and alcoholics are known to have financial and reliability problems which could lead her to attempt fraud or theft, so we should get rid of her. It is a very, very real concern.
The logic would go like this: She has a problem with alcohol, and alcoholics are known to have financial and reliability problems which could lead her to attempt fraud or theft, so we should get rid of her. It is a very, very real concern.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I think PurpleCat has valid concerns but I thought the same thing Sapling.
Me sober (in AA or not) = good.
Me not sober (in AA or not) = bad.
That's the long and short of it.
I suppose if I could have gotten sober without AA I would have ....... actually I KNOW I would have. I just didn't have any other choice. With that said, that's just me ..... I know there are lots of you here with long-term sobriety without AA. I know it's possible, it just wasn't for me.
Me sober (in AA or not) = good.
Me not sober (in AA or not) = bad.
That's the long and short of it.
I suppose if I could have gotten sober without AA I would have ....... actually I KNOW I would have. I just didn't have any other choice. With that said, that's just me ..... I know there are lots of you here with long-term sobriety without AA. I know it's possible, it just wasn't for me.
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Originally Posted by Sapling
Any of them ever run into you drunk before?
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I think that many people put off, or never get into recovery due to the fear of what they will lose. Social status, job, friends etc. This may or may not be a well founded fear.
Most of us have lost a great deal in active addiction, many of us have already lost social status, jobs, friends, and freedom (going to jail for instance) due to our addictions. And nearly all of us have lost self esteem, the freedom to chose how to spend our time and money, health etc.
Are we going to lose something by getting into recovery? Sure...but most of us feel we've gained far more than we've lost.
If we stay in active addiction, it is nearly a forgone conclusion that eventually the social status, job and friends are going to go. If the experience of other addicts can be trusted, there simply is no way to hang onto all that AND continue down the road of active addiction.
The risk of getting into recovery is to save face for the mean time and lose it later, or get better and possibly NOT lose those things at all.
Nearly everyone has an alcoholic close to them, family, friend, coworker, and they would LOVE that person to get into recovery and turn their life around. And many times we use the idea that if people find out we have a problem they will think we are weak, incapable etc etc. But that is not always the case. Many times they are so happy and supportive if they find out. Many times we find out they have the same or similar problem, or have a loved one who does and they may be more understanding than we thought they might.
That may not be the case, but from my own experience and that of many other recovering addicts I have spoken to, things were not as bad as they imagined.
I've lost jobs, and survived. I've lost social status, and survived. I have lost friends, and survived. I lost my marriage, and survived. I lost my belongings, and survived.
I guarantee you that at the rate I was going, had I not gotten into recovery I would be dead right now.
The good news is there are all sorts of ways to recover. You don't have to go to a public support group. You can do it privately with a dr or therapist, use any of a number of other recovery programs, or do it on your own.
If people allow the "stigma" of addiction to keep them from recovering, that is their choice. If they say "I couldn't possibly attend AA, someone might find out" they have hundreds of other options for recovery. We make excuses to use, until we don't anymore. We tell ourselves stories about why we can't recover, until we don't anymore.
And the stigma is only ever going to change if we change it. If we hide the fact that there IS recovery, then others remain afraid to recover. They think they are all alone, hiding it so well, only drinking when they are at home etc...
The more people who are in recovery, who are open about it, who make it clear that it is possible and life changing, the more that people will see it as a viable option, and the less others will see it as failure.
There is no THEY, there is only us.
Most of us have lost a great deal in active addiction, many of us have already lost social status, jobs, friends, and freedom (going to jail for instance) due to our addictions. And nearly all of us have lost self esteem, the freedom to chose how to spend our time and money, health etc.
Are we going to lose something by getting into recovery? Sure...but most of us feel we've gained far more than we've lost.
If we stay in active addiction, it is nearly a forgone conclusion that eventually the social status, job and friends are going to go. If the experience of other addicts can be trusted, there simply is no way to hang onto all that AND continue down the road of active addiction.
The risk of getting into recovery is to save face for the mean time and lose it later, or get better and possibly NOT lose those things at all.
Nearly everyone has an alcoholic close to them, family, friend, coworker, and they would LOVE that person to get into recovery and turn their life around. And many times we use the idea that if people find out we have a problem they will think we are weak, incapable etc etc. But that is not always the case. Many times they are so happy and supportive if they find out. Many times we find out they have the same or similar problem, or have a loved one who does and they may be more understanding than we thought they might.
That may not be the case, but from my own experience and that of many other recovering addicts I have spoken to, things were not as bad as they imagined.
I've lost jobs, and survived. I've lost social status, and survived. I have lost friends, and survived. I lost my marriage, and survived. I lost my belongings, and survived.
I guarantee you that at the rate I was going, had I not gotten into recovery I would be dead right now.
The good news is there are all sorts of ways to recover. You don't have to go to a public support group. You can do it privately with a dr or therapist, use any of a number of other recovery programs, or do it on your own.
If people allow the "stigma" of addiction to keep them from recovering, that is their choice. If they say "I couldn't possibly attend AA, someone might find out" they have hundreds of other options for recovery. We make excuses to use, until we don't anymore. We tell ourselves stories about why we can't recover, until we don't anymore.
And the stigma is only ever going to change if we change it. If we hide the fact that there IS recovery, then others remain afraid to recover. They think they are all alone, hiding it so well, only drinking when they are at home etc...
The more people who are in recovery, who are open about it, who make it clear that it is possible and life changing, the more that people will see it as a viable option, and the less others will see it as failure.
There is no THEY, there is only us.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
I know many practicing alcoholics with no desire to quit. I used to be one. AA makes no more difference than the phase of the moon.
I couldn't believe that I would ever quit cigs. 17 years later I can't believe that I ever smoked. Regardless of advertising/laws the effects of alcohol are often more subtle than cigs and let's not forget that booze will get you hammered until your dying breath whereas smoking just gets you a slow drowning death.
I couldn't believe that I would ever quit cigs. 17 years later I can't believe that I ever smoked. Regardless of advertising/laws the effects of alcohol are often more subtle than cigs and let's not forget that booze will get you hammered until your dying breath whereas smoking just gets you a slow drowning death.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
The folks who look down on AA don't understand what is happening... and I can't allow my life to be influenced by folks who "don't understand".
Go to AA meetings and you'll find the local doctor, lawyer and police chief (that's the way it was in my group).
I never gave a hoot who saw me staggering out of the bar, pub, club etc and I don't give a hoot today who sees me coming out of an AA meeting
If someone knows I go to AA, I may be able to help them in the future.
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
Go to AA meetings and you'll find the local doctor, lawyer and police chief (that's the way it was in my group).
I never gave a hoot who saw me staggering out of the bar, pub, club etc and I don't give a hoot today who sees me coming out of an AA meeting
If someone knows I go to AA, I may be able to help them in the future.
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
Amen. (p.s. your avatar is a little scary....i keep thinking it is going to peck me!)
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