A Scary Introduction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 1
A Scary Introduction
Hi everyone,
I came here because I'm unable to talk to immediately tangible sources. I'm a recovered drug addict, alcoholic, and anorexic. I haven't used drugs for five years. It was easy to tell people I had an eating disorder, but the fear of opening up to anyone about my problems with drugs is intimidating. I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect. Everyone describes me as funny and giving. I feel like I have to over compensate in my personality to make up for the terrible things I've done in my life. I have a 4.0 and am an undergraduate of Biochemistry. Screwing up is just not an option. I was a nursing major. I wanted to be a nurse so badly, but I quit because of my guilt from my previous downward spiral from drugs. I feel like everyone could see right through me. I took them to keep my weight down and because something broke my heart so badly...I was intent on destroying myself. How do you come out about being a former drug addict? I never want to honestly answer that question on applications. How do you explain it to someone? Anyone who can is brave. I'm scared. I carry it with me all the time. I feel like a criminal. All I want to do is help others, but how can they trust me...and they never know the circumstances of what brings you there. They just see you as junkies. I'm so ashamed of myself, even though I've moved past the addiction stage. I no longer want that lifestyle, but I can't overcome my lingering thoughts of the past. I'm scared to go to a doctor and tell them, because I do have a perforation from use. I just want some support. I have nightmares. How do you get others to respect you...when you tell them the truth?
I came here because I'm unable to talk to immediately tangible sources. I'm a recovered drug addict, alcoholic, and anorexic. I haven't used drugs for five years. It was easy to tell people I had an eating disorder, but the fear of opening up to anyone about my problems with drugs is intimidating. I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect. Everyone describes me as funny and giving. I feel like I have to over compensate in my personality to make up for the terrible things I've done in my life. I have a 4.0 and am an undergraduate of Biochemistry. Screwing up is just not an option. I was a nursing major. I wanted to be a nurse so badly, but I quit because of my guilt from my previous downward spiral from drugs. I feel like everyone could see right through me. I took them to keep my weight down and because something broke my heart so badly...I was intent on destroying myself. How do you come out about being a former drug addict? I never want to honestly answer that question on applications. How do you explain it to someone? Anyone who can is brave. I'm scared. I carry it with me all the time. I feel like a criminal. All I want to do is help others, but how can they trust me...and they never know the circumstances of what brings you there. They just see you as junkies. I'm so ashamed of myself, even though I've moved past the addiction stage. I no longer want that lifestyle, but I can't overcome my lingering thoughts of the past. I'm scared to go to a doctor and tell them, because I do have a perforation from use. I just want some support. I have nightmares. How do you get others to respect you...when you tell them the truth?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Hi Cerapearl, welcome to SR.
I don't think it's necessary to tell anyone what you've been through. Someone smarter than me once told me that what other people think of me is none of my business. Over time, I've come to see it as true. What you think of yourself is your business, and it is entirely in your power to change. I'm an alcoholic, and when I was drinking I did a lot of things that I feel ashamed of now. The best way to stop feeling the shame of my past behavior and decisions has been to engage in behavior that makes me proud of myself. I volunteer at a women's shelter, pursue art with more passion, and try to give more than I get. I think there's more to like about me now. I couldn't let feeling bad keep me from getting started on feeling better. Don't let your bad feelings paralyze you and keep you stuck.
I don't think it's necessary to tell anyone what you've been through. Someone smarter than me once told me that what other people think of me is none of my business. Over time, I've come to see it as true. What you think of yourself is your business, and it is entirely in your power to change. I'm an alcoholic, and when I was drinking I did a lot of things that I feel ashamed of now. The best way to stop feeling the shame of my past behavior and decisions has been to engage in behavior that makes me proud of myself. I volunteer at a women's shelter, pursue art with more passion, and try to give more than I get. I think there's more to like about me now. I couldn't let feeling bad keep me from getting started on feeling better. Don't let your bad feelings paralyze you and keep you stuck.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Its an erroneous belief that people can see right through you. Never say anything about drug use on an application or in an interview, that is if you don't have a drug conviction record. Congratulations on the 5 years, good job. What others will think of you is so unpreditable I would't worry about it to much. Truth is, the less said about your personal lifestyle in an interview the better. Let them ask the questions.
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