Sunny27

Hi Isabella

It doesn't matter one jot when your friends think. Mine all said 'eh, what are you doing so saying you will never drink again - you aren't an alcoholic or anything'.

It isn't up to anyone to convince me what I am or am not. I know. I know I drink different to them and they don't know what I was drinking when I went home some nights.

I am on day 25 and it is all still a novelty for my friends that I am not drinking. I am sure they are silently thinking 'any day now she will crack' but they'd never say that.

I just remember why I am doing this - because I am not wasting 20 more years making drinking a focus - sorry, THE FOCUS - of my life.

Am with you issabella - just keep going and push through the current madness. Only good can come from loving ourselves enough to stop poisoning ourselves.

Sunny xxx

llastchance8

Isabella, we can relate to your problems. Same irritation and yelling at people etc . But think this way... Normal people do get angry, they do get irritated and they yell at people. This is not abnormal. This is normal. Only difference is , your subconscious mind is paying too much attention to it and attributing the same to absence of alcohol.

Hence, as others have mentioned, we need to divert our mind to do something exciting, challenging and satisfying. I decided to focus on improving my skills for the sport I love. I also decided to learn to sing !!!!! ( In current stage , if I sing, there will not be anyone around within miles !!! ) But I will try to be better.

Pick up anything which excites you, Keep experimenting !!! We must feel the void and as I have read somewhere , the very reason we drink is the void itself. We take care of void an drinking will be gone....

keithj

Listening to people offload their problems has very little to do with the program of AA, and never did much for my staying sober. A serious, BB study meeting led by recovered alcoholics turned my recovery upside down and profoundly changed my life.

It's the difference between night and day. One focuses on the program of AA, known to be successful for anyone that really does it; and the other is just a group of people with drinking problems commiserating.

artsoul

I remember being irritable as well..... and really tired/unmotivated. When I read about PAWS, things made a lot more sense. The typical symptoms are:
Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

This is a great article:
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies

I agree with what Threshold said..... we think that everything's going to be all better once we get through detox, and that's just not true.

It's OK to take a step back and see what works (or what doesn't work) for you. I've always put a lot of pressure on myself to do it all, and do it right. As a result, I felt overwhelmed all the time. I couldn't afford to carry on that way in sobriety. Some people may need to push themselves, but I found that I needed to stop pushing, be compassionate towards myself and not sweat the small stuff.

Recovery is a process, not an event. For the first year, my mantra was "every day sober is a victory - the rest is just icing on the cake." So give yourself some credit - you're doing it!

NewBeginning010

Hi Isabella, We have all felt that burnout after quitting... somehow hoping that everything would automatically be awesome just because we stopped drinking.

You have some great advice above (Big book meetings etc.) & I would also add on top of that fun active activities in a group setting. I have been using a site called meetup to find & do all sorts of fun activities (hiking, snowshoeing, tennis, business groups etc.). I just searched Dublin & there are a lot of things going on. These are not AA groups though so be prepared that some will for example have a beer after climbing a mountain for the day... that's ok... I happily have my water & coffee ;-)

Check it out: Meetups near Dublin - Meetup

This sounds like a great way to get some exercise while connecting with nature as well as other people: http://www.meetup.com/hiking-302/

I want to go on this walk: Saturday, January 28, 2012, 11:00 AM
Selected By: Declan

Needs a location Coming soon!

Meeting point: The large car park at the Upper Lake in Glendalough at 11am. This is the one at the very end of the road. Grid ref on OS map sheet 56 is T112 964. For sat nav or to copy and paste to Google Maps: N53.00700 W6.34400.

Nb. If coming from Dublin, best to come by the N11 and not the R115, which is very much 'the scenic route'.



Distance: 9km

This walk would be a good introduction for any new members unsure of their fitness or ability, as it is mostly on tracks of one sort or another and is not as demanding as some of our recent hikes. Nonetheless it brings you through some beautiful landscape.

The following is an outline of the walk, taken from the Wicklow National Park website .

"This popular walk leads you through some of the most spectacular scenery in Co. Wicklow. The trail ascends steeply up by the Poulanass Waterfall before joining a boardwalk. More than 600 wooden steps lead you to a viewing point overlooking the Upper Lake. The boardwalk skirts the top of the cliffs before descending through blanket bog and heath into the picturesque Glenealo Valley, home to a large herd of deer. A rough track then leads you back down into Glendalough Valley."


P.S. Glad I tried to help as I just found an awesome business marketing event close to my place with 130 people ;-)

LoftyIdeals

Hang in there, Isabella. You are at what was a very difficult stretch for me. How do I know that? Because, for a decade, I could make a month, maybe two and then convince myself each time I didn't have a problem, or let my friends do so. They don't want to lose the old you as much as you do, because they don't have to know and live with the old you every day, so how could they possibly realize what you know to be true?

To thine own self be true.

isabella1bella

Thanks hun, ill take a look at it ... Im moving on best I can just have been flat-lining this week ... met up with one of the 3 friends who were anti-my recovery yesterday and I told him how I feel re: his reaction and that I want to establish a reklationship with him outside of alcohol or the pub and he has agreed to try to do that, that pleases me greatly ... onwards and upwards I guess xxx

NewBeginning010

Thats awesome Isabella I have kept a couple of great connections with some old friends, even stronger with some. I have let go of quite a few drinking buddies though, which has been working out well too :-)

All of the best in your recovery & keep up the diligent work you are doing, it will pay off.

Take Care ~ NB

jocata

I can relate Isabella. The first month to 45 days I was like that ALOT. I think it was Dee that put a link to the Paws thing and I started doing some reading on it. Fits me to a T. I'm at 61 days and it is getting better. It just takes time for our bodies to heal.

I have to do a much as possible for my recovery also. Meetings, talk to my sponser, read the BB, work the steps, pray, help others, and just stay as busy as my body will allow. Working out, doing chores, spending time with people, working, reading and posting on SR.

If all I did was stop drinking and made no other changes in my life, I would be more miserable than before I stopped drinking. I had to make a ton of changes. It still is not easy at times, but I can see it getting a little better each day.

Try doing something different today.

God bless.

Purplecatlover

Isabella
We all have ups & downs. Just don't give up. I read a quite: " If something is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse. ". I can relate. I had an excuse for everything. Life is hard, and when you've been escaping from it for so long, you have to teach yourself how to deal. I would try & give up b/c it was too hard. It's easier to run away. But it only made the mountain bigger. Each time I relapsed, I was even deeper in the pit. Things will get better. Lots of people HAVE recovered. You will get through this. Feelings come & go. Keep your head up

keltie

Funny- you described how I'm feeling. I had a meltdown last night after meeting with my sponsor. (i'm going to NA but could also go to AA.) I had been going great guns with my NA meetings- 3 times a week plus doing step work PLUS going to a private therapist....AND I AM SICK OF IT!!

Not saying I don't have a problem- just TIRED of everything being about addiction, and being labeled an addict. I think I need a break from it. I won't throw the baby out w/the bathwater but I need to take a mental break from "addiction 24/7."

isabella1bella

My motivation is I'm over 30 now and I deseperately would love to be a mom ... drinking is not going to allow my body to concieve and I conciously couldnt think about starting a family if I were still drinking so with this week causing me so much "FED UP'ness" thats whats at the back of my mind the whole time .. I need to heal my body or else I will never ever have a fair chance at being a mom one day if Im blessed enough to have a child that is.

langkah

That's a really great motivation I1B. In a way the caring you're giving yourself now by not drinking is evidence of the kind of care you are capable of giving to a child.

Not everyone is able to stress themselves to the extent you have, even if the life of a child depends upon it.

Keep it up.

Ichi

Hey all just to add to some of the comments - I am feeling exactly the same today - 8 weeks sober last sunday and feel like I am losing the plot today - snapped at people in work and am absolutely desperate to go into a hole for the next few days and get obliterated. I was doing well and now feel like I am going through withdrawal again and the main problem is that I don't seem to care if I fall off the wagon - I wish I could add something nice or constructive and the last thing I want to sound like is a drain but for what it is worth to anyone else here I think what you are going through is completely normal - I guess keep at it and try and remember it will pass eventually!! x

Dee74

Welcome to SR Ichi

D

Ichi

Thanks Dee

Hope all is well.