Why Should I Stop Drinking If It Doesn't Matter?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 10
Why Should I Stop Drinking If It Doesn't Matter?
Why Should I Stop Drinking If It Doesn't Matter? Just to give some facts about my drinking.....I am 22 years old and I have been a severe alcoholic for a good year. I drink on average a third of a 1.75 L bottle of 40% Nikolai Vodka a day.......I have even at my worst stage drank 3/4 of that bottle in a day. My tolerance has skyrocketed. I have terrible acid reflux.
I will forever be alone. I will never be able to have sex with a girl as I can never break that barrier of intimacy. I have no friends. I grew up "wired" differently than others as I always got hurt very easily. I can't change no matter how hard I try to.
I constantly try to stop drinking as today I'm 2 days sober again, but eventually I just give up and say, "What's the point??" I have major social anxiety and always feel disconnected from the world. I just want to have some fun in life and to stop living with my leg shaking 24/7. That's why I drink. But it always gets out of control sooner or later.
I will forever be alone. I will never be able to have sex with a girl as I can never break that barrier of intimacy. I have no friends. I grew up "wired" differently than others as I always got hurt very easily. I can't change no matter how hard I try to.
I constantly try to stop drinking as today I'm 2 days sober again, but eventually I just give up and say, "What's the point??" I have major social anxiety and always feel disconnected from the world. I just want to have some fun in life and to stop living with my leg shaking 24/7. That's why I drink. But it always gets out of control sooner or later.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi Sober111
Welcome
I'm double your age now, but I thought just like you did at 22.
I thought this was my life - and it would never, ever, change.
well, I was wrong - majorly...things do change.
They do get better - but they can also get worse too, a lot worse.
My drinking took me to dark evil places I couldn't even imagine at 22.
I had to give up drinking before my life got better.
I'm happy for the first time in my adult life now...and it's been that way for the last 5 years
I have cerebral palsy so I know about 24/7 shakes too, but somehow it matters less to me now - my priorities changed I guess.
Never give up hope - there's no reason at all why you can't have what I found
you'll find a lot of support here too
D
Welcome
I'm double your age now, but I thought just like you did at 22.
I thought this was my life - and it would never, ever, change.
well, I was wrong - majorly...things do change.
They do get better - but they can also get worse too, a lot worse.
My drinking took me to dark evil places I couldn't even imagine at 22.
I had to give up drinking before my life got better.
I'm happy for the first time in my adult life now...and it's been that way for the last 5 years
I have cerebral palsy so I know about 24/7 shakes too, but somehow it matters less to me now - my priorities changed I guess.
Never give up hope - there's no reason at all why you can't have what I found
you'll find a lot of support here too
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
There are many people on SR who have social anxiety and who learn to adapt and live a sober life. You can change and things will get better.
Counselling might be helpful for you.
Counselling might be helpful for you.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Dee and Anna are both correct!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your 'social anxiety' is actually aggravated by alcohol because alcohol is a depressant.
I continued to drink. I finally said 'enough' when it felt like the booze was coming out of my pores as fast as I swigged it down. I stopped drinking. The next day I literally died, the ER Doc was putting the time of death on my, after my heart had been done for 28 minutes on that stoppage. I had been having seizures all day which caused the heart stoppages. As he was writing, my heart started on its own, I was given a SECOND CHANCE.
There is no guarantee that you will or anybody else will get a 'second chance.'
I too felt that way at 22, only I took this affliction to the MAX, found recovery at 3 weeks shy of my 36th birthday and I was a HIDEOUS MESS, mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially. Once I had found recovery and was working on myself, I realized that if I listened to myself when it first became clear to me that I was and alcohol, (I was your age 22) I would have saved myself and my family a lot of grief.
I can also tell, that when I found recovery I really didn't believe my life would change it couldn't hurt to try it for awhile and see. So I stayed and started to work the AA program a little bit.
That was 30+ years ago, and I can tell you I have had a life that I had never even believe existed! It has been and is an INCREDIBLE life sober.
So why not give sobriety a REAL TRY (at least 6 months, but preferably a year). That would mean finding a 'program' be it AA, CBT, SMART, Life Ring, etc
I do believe you will pleasantly surprised.
You were smart enough to find this site, please be smart enough to give recovery another try and give it your all and then some. Work your azz off and give it your 'all', no reservations, and you too can find recovery and maintain recovery.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Your 'social anxiety' is actually aggravated by alcohol because alcohol is a depressant.
I continued to drink. I finally said 'enough' when it felt like the booze was coming out of my pores as fast as I swigged it down. I stopped drinking. The next day I literally died, the ER Doc was putting the time of death on my, after my heart had been done for 28 minutes on that stoppage. I had been having seizures all day which caused the heart stoppages. As he was writing, my heart started on its own, I was given a SECOND CHANCE.
There is no guarantee that you will or anybody else will get a 'second chance.'
I too felt that way at 22, only I took this affliction to the MAX, found recovery at 3 weeks shy of my 36th birthday and I was a HIDEOUS MESS, mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially. Once I had found recovery and was working on myself, I realized that if I listened to myself when it first became clear to me that I was and alcohol, (I was your age 22) I would have saved myself and my family a lot of grief.
I can also tell, that when I found recovery I really didn't believe my life would change it couldn't hurt to try it for awhile and see. So I stayed and started to work the AA program a little bit.
That was 30+ years ago, and I can tell you I have had a life that I had never even believe existed! It has been and is an INCREDIBLE life sober.
So why not give sobriety a REAL TRY (at least 6 months, but preferably a year). That would mean finding a 'program' be it AA, CBT, SMART, Life Ring, etc
I do believe you will pleasantly surprised.
You were smart enough to find this site, please be smart enough to give recovery another try and give it your all and then some. Work your azz off and give it your 'all', no reservations, and you too can find recovery and maintain recovery.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Sober111,
Why should you stop drinking? You answered your own question in your post. It is making your life miserable. It is hard to see outside the box when the lid is closed. The alcohol is keeping you in the box. You can start to change your life by first putting down the drink and start a program of recovery.
You are fortunate that you are young and have come to the realization something is wrong now you can do something about it.
I keep sober with the help of this forum and AA. I am so much happier today than I was nearly 8 months ago.
You can do it.
All the best
CaiHong
Why should you stop drinking? You answered your own question in your post. It is making your life miserable. It is hard to see outside the box when the lid is closed. The alcohol is keeping you in the box. You can start to change your life by first putting down the drink and start a program of recovery.
You are fortunate that you are young and have come to the realization something is wrong now you can do something about it.
I keep sober with the help of this forum and AA. I am so much happier today than I was nearly 8 months ago.
You can do it.
All the best
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 445
Hi Sober1111,
What have you done to try and change? If whatever you've done hasn't worked, then perhaps you could try something different? You cannot see into the future, you can't be 100% positive that you won't feel differently in the future. But, if you continue to kill yourself in this fashion then you will never know.
At least give yourself the chance to see if things will get better.
M
Originally Posted by Sober1111 
...I can't change no matter how hard I try to.
At least give yourself the chance to see if things will get better.
M
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
You took a huge step by posting in a place where people have been exactly where you were at. You feel like you can't live with alcohol or without it.
The reality is that you can live without it, and life can be great. The more you keep drinking, the harder it will be to stop.
Put the bottle down, find a recovery program(you can find info about many on this website), have an open mind, and be honest with yourself and others.
It can be done. Just read the many posts and stories of the people here who have done it. If we can, so can you.
God bless.,
The reality is that you can live without it, and life can be great. The more you keep drinking, the harder it will be to stop.
Put the bottle down, find a recovery program(you can find info about many on this website), have an open mind, and be honest with yourself and others.
It can be done. Just read the many posts and stories of the people here who have done it. If we can, so can you.
God bless.,
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Why anyone would think their life won't change at 22 years is a mystery to me. I'm twice your age and my life is drastically different. Even if I would have tried to keep it the same it would be different, that's not completely in my control.
You will evolve, you don't have a choice. What are you afraid of? If you are wired "differently" that's good. We all are, lemme guess you've been labeled and have had a ****** childhood? If this is the case, WELCOME! Most of us have.
I was and have continued to be called (mainly by my family): too sensitive, under achiever, depressed, quiet, selfish, always compared to other "dysfunctional relatives," overreactive, ect... And I'm sure if I was in public schools today I'd have ADD and various other issues.
I have had panic disorder since I was 14 and depressed as well. I've had to try so many medications!!! Oh well, I just wanted to point out that the belief that nothing will change is false. And in my most humble opinion you sound suicidal.
. And are on that path with alcohol. You are so young. I'll be thinking about you.
You will evolve, you don't have a choice. What are you afraid of? If you are wired "differently" that's good. We all are, lemme guess you've been labeled and have had a ****** childhood? If this is the case, WELCOME! Most of us have.
I was and have continued to be called (mainly by my family): too sensitive, under achiever, depressed, quiet, selfish, always compared to other "dysfunctional relatives," overreactive, ect... And I'm sure if I was in public schools today I'd have ADD and various other issues.
I have had panic disorder since I was 14 and depressed as well. I've had to try so many medications!!! Oh well, I just wanted to point out that the belief that nothing will change is false. And in my most humble opinion you sound suicidal.
. And are on that path with alcohol. You are so young. I'll be thinking about you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
It does matter...you matter. Sounds to me you realize you have a problem with alcohol and that your life has become unmanegable. And, that is exactly where I was when I first sobered up. You have taken a very positive step in the right direction by posting here at SR. Your life can get better sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Seems like at some point it will matter to you, since you're the one principally being harmed.
When you've made yourself feel bad enough then staying sober will matter to you much more than it matters to you now.
Whatever low point you're now at will seem a high point then. Think positive, you may get to the point where you'll do some things that will result in you being happy before too very long.
When you've made yourself feel bad enough then staying sober will matter to you much more than it matters to you now.
Whatever low point you're now at will seem a high point then. Think positive, you may get to the point where you'll do some things that will result in you being happy before too very long.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Sober1111 -
I'm glad you posted today.
I think if you read around a little bit, you'll find out that most of us have been where you're at. Drink enough alcohol and it will make you depressed, anxious, hopeless, and really down on yourself. It was that way for me, too. At the end, there were days I didn't even have the energy to care. Alcohol will do that to you.
At least consider getting help (none of us can do this on our own) and give sobriety, and yourself, a chance. You deserve it!
I'm glad you posted today.
I think if you read around a little bit, you'll find out that most of us have been where you're at. Drink enough alcohol and it will make you depressed, anxious, hopeless, and really down on yourself. It was that way for me, too. At the end, there were days I didn't even have the energy to care. Alcohol will do that to you.
At least consider getting help (none of us can do this on our own) and give sobriety, and yourself, a chance. You deserve it!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Ditto the above posts and I felt much the same way at age 22, lost, awkward and confused. It wasn't an easy stage in my life, I was still trying to find myself. But I wanted to give it my best shot, I think we're given life for a reason, to learn and grow, to make the most of it. We all have our challenges, life would be pretty dull and bland without them. I'd suggest finding someone you can talk to and confide in, or who can be like a 'mentor'.
I'm more comfortable in my own skin these days, and at age 22... you have so much ahead of you.
I'm more comfortable in my own skin these days, and at age 22... you have so much ahead of you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Here's just a few reasons why it matters...
I've included links for those things to show you what you WON'T end up with if you continue drinking at the rate you described. Go ahead and click, check it out. Any one or more of those things are - over time - what you will end up sacrificing when you buy and drink a bottle a day.
It is proven and inarguable that alcoholism can and will alter your brain, your muscles, digestion process, and cause disorders that will affect your health to the point of premature and painful death. It's also been shown to cause poverty, or at the very least, vast economic under-achievement. So I'd suggest you've got plenty of reasons for why it MATTERS, and why - if you're alcoholic - you should take the steps necessary to get you to stop drinking right now.
You're 22 and I have to say it is rather impressive that you recognize your issues and made it to this forum early on, before having killed most of your life's dreams and goals with a bottle. Don't make it to 44 (like me) and look back on all that 'could have' been, knowing you tanked so much possibility and hope over a bloody useless chemical crutch.
Some of the physical, psychological, and economic effects of chronic alcoholism:
Physical: These consequences can and will cause your death, left unchecked. Alcoholism causes cancer in the stomach, kidneys, and liver. Alcohol alters the digestion of nutrients that the body needs to stay healthy. Alcoholism causes severe damage in the neurons, causing alterations in the body movements, loss of appetite, and depression. Some other physical effects are gastritis, cirrhosis of the liver, Osteoporosis. And that only scratches the surface. Have you ever seen someone afflicted with an alcoholic brain damage, or 'wet brain'?
The psychological/environmental effects of alcoholism can include: a dramatic increase anxiety and depression. Various family and legal problems, absence of meaningful relationships, erratic violent behavior, basic changes of pre-alcoholic inherent behaviors, suicide, vehicular homicide/manslaughter. Again, only scratching the surface here mate.
The economic consequences? Being 22, this might interest you the most... Drinking 2 to 3 bottles per week alone can cost the equivalent of a car payment, house rent, school tuition, e.t.c... depending on the cost of alcohol where you live. A heavy, chronic drinker (5 to 7 ++ bottles per week) could easily be drinking away the monthly equivalent of a Porsche Cayman payment, a Chevrolet Camaro payment, or a Nissan 370Z + a 4x4 payment. In motorcycle terms, a chronic alcoholic normally drinks away the value of a Harley Davidson Vrod Muscle, Ducati Monster 796, Harley Iron 883, or an Aprilia RSV4R within 15 to 18 months. In educational terms, an alcoholic can easily drink away the cost equivalent of a university education, a pilots license, a technical college tuition, or any of many specialist programs.
Physical: These consequences can and will cause your death, left unchecked. Alcoholism causes cancer in the stomach, kidneys, and liver. Alcohol alters the digestion of nutrients that the body needs to stay healthy. Alcoholism causes severe damage in the neurons, causing alterations in the body movements, loss of appetite, and depression. Some other physical effects are gastritis, cirrhosis of the liver, Osteoporosis. And that only scratches the surface. Have you ever seen someone afflicted with an alcoholic brain damage, or 'wet brain'?
The psychological/environmental effects of alcoholism can include: a dramatic increase anxiety and depression. Various family and legal problems, absence of meaningful relationships, erratic violent behavior, basic changes of pre-alcoholic inherent behaviors, suicide, vehicular homicide/manslaughter. Again, only scratching the surface here mate.
The economic consequences? Being 22, this might interest you the most... Drinking 2 to 3 bottles per week alone can cost the equivalent of a car payment, house rent, school tuition, e.t.c... depending on the cost of alcohol where you live. A heavy, chronic drinker (5 to 7 ++ bottles per week) could easily be drinking away the monthly equivalent of a Porsche Cayman payment, a Chevrolet Camaro payment, or a Nissan 370Z + a 4x4 payment. In motorcycle terms, a chronic alcoholic normally drinks away the value of a Harley Davidson Vrod Muscle, Ducati Monster 796, Harley Iron 883, or an Aprilia RSV4R within 15 to 18 months. In educational terms, an alcoholic can easily drink away the cost equivalent of a university education, a pilots license, a technical college tuition, or any of many specialist programs.
It is proven and inarguable that alcoholism can and will alter your brain, your muscles, digestion process, and cause disorders that will affect your health to the point of premature and painful death. It's also been shown to cause poverty, or at the very least, vast economic under-achievement. So I'd suggest you've got plenty of reasons for why it MATTERS, and why - if you're alcoholic - you should take the steps necessary to get you to stop drinking right now.
You're 22 and I have to say it is rather impressive that you recognize your issues and made it to this forum early on, before having killed most of your life's dreams and goals with a bottle. Don't make it to 44 (like me) and look back on all that 'could have' been, knowing you tanked so much possibility and hope over a bloody useless chemical crutch.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hi Sober1111. I'm glad you posted. I think most people use alcohol to cope with social anxiety and depression, I know I certainly did. I'm no longer such a mess, well not all the time anyway, but it was work that increased my confidence not drinking. The one thing alcohol did do for me in the long term was to create huge anxiety problems, much worse than the ones I had before and various neurological problems. My problem drinking started in my late teens and I realized it was a problem in my early 20's. I wish so much that I had done something about it then. I hope you're able to get some help with your anxiety problems but I can state from experience that alcohol isn't the answer x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 10
I appreciate all you guys replies.........You guys give me so much motivation to continue being sober. I'm glad to know there are people out there just like me.
I'm on my third day being sober and I feel physically great!.............but at work today I was a mess still. My mouth started to tense up badly (like usual) and it seems like I can't relax it no matter how hard I try. Its like my face is stuck in a very ugly and unattractive manner that makes people frightened to look at me.
I don't know how someone can continue to live this way.........its eating me up. I make my coworkers and customers so nervous to look at me and be around me. It sucks.
I'm on my third day being sober and I feel physically great!.............but at work today I was a mess still. My mouth started to tense up badly (like usual) and it seems like I can't relax it no matter how hard I try. Its like my face is stuck in a very ugly and unattractive manner that makes people frightened to look at me.
I don't know how someone can continue to live this way.........its eating me up. I make my coworkers and customers so nervous to look at me and be around me. It sucks.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Way to go on day 3!
It's hard not to feel overwhelmed at times during those first days/weeks. A lot of us have physical issues from drinking too, as well as anxiety and mood swings. Things do get better, but it might take longer than a few days.
It wouldn't be a bad idea, though, to check things out with a doctor and see if they can help.
Keep up the good work!
It's hard not to feel overwhelmed at times during those first days/weeks. A lot of us have physical issues from drinking too, as well as anxiety and mood swings. Things do get better, but it might take longer than a few days.
It wouldn't be a bad idea, though, to check things out with a doctor and see if they can help.
Keep up the good work!
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