Could use some support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
Could use some support
My husband is not sure he wants to stay married to me anymore. In the past I'd start drinking again to keep him from leaving. I don't want to go there again, but am terrified I can't support my two sons, one of whom has brain cancer as you know, without him. Target just doesn't pay that well. And to top it off, it's New Years Eve and I'm on my way to a huge drunken party, with my actively alcoholic husband who wants a divorce. I don't want to drink. I don't want to drink. I don't want to drink. Is that enough? I need my SR friends. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 20
You can't change how he feels or what he does. Take it one step at a time. You can only control your actions and how you internalize your feelings, right here right now. Be the best mom you can be and take care of yourself. Maybe you should skip the party hon?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Eliasson, You've worked so hard. You'll be so mad at yourself if you cave over this. Drinking makes everything worse and harder to deal with. Getting numb just makes us confused and emotional. You're very fragile right now - maybe it would've been best to avoid temptation. Let us know how it goes.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm really sorry you're facing this eliasson - but would a marriage you have to drink to stay in be good for you?
I know the future is scary but I think that's the same for a lot of us really married or not - sometimes all we can do is take it day by day...
not wanting to drink can be enough - if you put the action of saying no thanks and not picking up a drink behind it
I have confidence in you
D
I know the future is scary but I think that's the same for a lot of us really married or not - sometimes all we can do is take it day by day...
not wanting to drink can be enough - if you put the action of saying no thanks and not picking up a drink behind it
I have confidence in you
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I hope you're doing OK, Eliasson. Remember that you deserve a better, sober life. Don't give that up for anyone!
Things are difficult right now and it's scary to think about the future, but that doesn't mean good things aren't ahead, and besides, all you can do is tackle today. There were times in my first year that I had to go back to staying sober a minute at a time, and that's OK.
I'm sending a little prayer, just in case you're at that party right now.......
Things are difficult right now and it's scary to think about the future, but that doesn't mean good things aren't ahead, and besides, all you can do is tackle today. There were times in my first year that I had to go back to staying sober a minute at a time, and that's OK.
I'm sending a little prayer, just in case you're at that party right now.......
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: IL now
Posts: 218
I'm in the same boat, I feel for you. My wife is still drinking a LOT, and its a total killer to my recovery.. But, I'm not judging her, she says she doesn't have a problem, so thats up to her.. We've really turned into two different people over the years.. She went from the homemaker and wanting to have a family, to being wild and partying all the time, it's tough for me to want to stay with her hoping she changes again soon.. All you can do is watch out for you, stay strong!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Happy New Year, Eliasson.
These changes with your husband are of course scary but I'm thinking the prospect of divorcing an abusive alcoholic puts a bubble of hope in your gut, too.
These changes with your husband are of course scary but I'm thinking the prospect of divorcing an abusive alcoholic puts a bubble of hope in your gut, too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Eliasson,
God I admire your strength. When I think I am having a "tough" day I think of what you have to cope with and you still are staying sober. Really how bad could it be if he left?
I am sure that you would and could manage. I agree with SSLI75
.
All the best
CaiHong
God I admire your strength. When I think I am having a "tough" day I think of what you have to cope with and you still are staying sober. Really how bad could it be if he left?
I am sure that you would and could manage. I agree with SSLI75
.
All the best
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 594
You have such strength! Maybe you can strecth it a little further and put the drink down for good. I have a son with a dissability and im not sure what state you live in but there are programs and funding for our kids plus like someone else said child support and alimony. It doesnt replace your husbands role as a father but if hes copping out anyway its good to know you wont just be stranded! This is a painful change for you and your family and Im so sorry! I had to get sober to see what a blessing and an honor I was chosen to care for my son you too! It takes special people like us to endure each day with special children! I am also a single mom my sons father left for california after my sons diagnosis at 18 months he is now 11. It is so possible!
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