Fdm

Crazy, but I think my family could be a trigger. I'm on Day 2, and was cruising until chaos ensued. Kids yelling at each other over whose turn it was to take the dog out, the wife vacuuming while Big Bang Theory, and the dog throwing up.

Usually, I endure it all under the influence. This is gonna be tough.

EmeraldRose

Ain't sobriety great? Welcome to real life. The things we have supressed and not appreciated for so long. Of course, right now you are alittle on edge but in due time you will treasure these moments and appreciate your kids, your wife and the dog.

I lost alot of that. My youngest was 18 when I sobered up last year. Enjoy your family.
Maybe you should grab the vacuum from your wife and help her out. Maybe use up some of the built up frustration and release it as energy. Energy creates energy...hey, then you could take the dog for a walk. I did alot of dog walking when I quit the booze. Fresh air does wonders to the mind. Helps clear out the mental cobwebs and also opens up your sinuses.
Smile and count your blessings. Wishing you peace.

Dee74

I think stress is hard to deal with for a while for sure.

I had almost no coping skills because I always just opened a bottle....

Skills take time to develop - but most of us catch on pretty quickly I think...
in the mean time lean on the support here, fdm

Think about ways to relax - maybe you can walk the dog for example?

D

DisplacedGRITS

Honey, I spent yesterday trapped in a Honda Civic with my parents and my younger sister for 10 hours driving to Florida to see my grandparents. I'm away from my husband and when i'm with my sister, she irritates the hell outta me (I love her from 1100 miles away!). Today we were hours late seeing my grandparents because she took over 2 hours to put on makeup and my mom is hovering over me 'cause she is all too aware of my alocholism. I'm 31! Geeze! I totally get you about family being a stressor.

So, when I was about to lose it, and I mean really lose it, I told my mother that I was going to be a very unplesant person to be around for a while so I'd just wait in the lobby and wanted to be alone. Hell, it worked! She was even impressed and when I calmed down, I calmly and respectfully told her what was irritating me. That worked out well. Basically, I think i'm suggesting that you go to a quite place alone for a while and let that frustration and irritation burn off. Post here if it helps! But do not confront those stressors until you're in a calm, collected state of mind. A quick walk or just standing outside alone may help. Then, you can handle the issues with a clearer head. Good luck!

StPeteGrad

Dude,

I hear you! The first month is like trying to live with with a bad toothache. I was always so boozed up too that it didn't really matter.

I also know that a lot of the chaos with the kids happened BECAUSE I was checked out.

Now I'm another adult in the room, another parent in the home and another set of ears and eyes. I'm also their daddy who they love and depend on. My 6-year-old daughter won't leave my side some nights and my 9-year-old can't wait to be involved in whatever project I'm working on.

Hang in there. It does get better and easier. Make sure you are getting vitamins and eating well. Indulge in ice cream and cake and candy for a while. M&M's were the only thing that made it tolerable a few nights!

artsoul

I was still in bed on day 2....... The irritability is so normal. Give yourself a pat on the back and know that things will get better. It does help to keep things low key for a while (maybe explaining to the family that you're not feeling well or need to rest for a short time, in exchange for going to a movie or helping out later?)

It won't always be like this......

munchkin05

Fdm,
Ain't real life great! LOL (being sarcastic here)
Really what I mean is how sad it is that many of us hid ourselves in a bottle to cope with the everyday demands of life. But what's worse was as we did that life was passing us by without us even realizing it, and sometimes while life can be crazy it can also be wondrous, amazing, and inspiring.
I know for me, especially since becoming sober I have moments that I just want to scream at my son, my husband, the cat, the DVD player that doesn't want to work, the laundry that's piling up, the mess on the floor and the table, oh my, does it ever go on.
Good news is as others say here. It does get better.
I know when I first quit, I only had my son around(hubby was on a business trip) so I had one less voice in the house but then hubby came home that weekend and everything seemed so loud, so MAGNIFIED, so hectic, chaotic.
Now, even though I'm 15 days, it has gotten better.
Hang in there.
:ghug3

Mark75

I was surprised that "enduring" the whole cluster-f#ck that is family... and I love my family... is actually much easier sober.

Fdm

Thank you all for the encouragement. On to Day 3. This should be interesting. It's my first day back to work after the holidays and the flu combined. Wish me luck this evening!

honeypie

You can do it, Fdm. Keep checking back here on SR.

Your community is here and we understand!

Fdm

Thanks. I've only been at work 2 hours, feeling like I'm running at 50% from the flu, and have written an article for the newspaper and have had a conference call with attorneys, and I still have a full list to go!

1undone

Family = Trigger LOL Because they are not drunk and numb. They are being real and it can be overwhelming. I've had to say, I'm sick and recovering please let me be and have my 'Zen moments' LOL <- that's time to myself.

I have nothing more to add here other than empathy! I hear ya!

Itchy

I was irritable, and way over the top one day, and the opposite the next. I took a few months for all of that to settle down. But as said sobriety is much easier once you are over the first few months of withdrawals and healing. And yes, we do have to relearn a few things to get the most out of our sobriety and lives. But it takes some effort to get those few months to start seeing it. Keep on the path.

CaiHong

FDM,
Your nerves are probably very raw and the flu wouldn't help. Looking back the alcohol did take the edge of annoying things, people but at such a cost.

Hang in there

All the best
CaiHong

Dominica2

I know exactly how you feel about the triggers, I am on day 2 and I am feeling it. Best wishes to you.

Fdm

Work was tough. Home is ok, except for a +$100 bill at Wal-Mart by the wife for what I see is nothing. UGGHHH!

jocata

Totally feel you fdm. I'm going through the same thing with my family. I have 3 kids, ages 9,8, and 5. Reality hits hard when you sober up. It is a struggle, but I iknow it will be worth it. I want to be a good daddy and husband again. I have gotten tons of support here and you will too. Let's both hang in there.
God bless.

gaffo

My 5 and 7 year olds notice everything. I don't want them to grow up with a drunk. I want to remember as much as I can. Some of the most interesting things in my life have come from unplanned chaos. When I feel irritable I try to keep it from getting out of hand. I've never looked back and said "I sure wish I'd been a d*ck!"

Fdm

On to Day 4. Thanks for the encouragement.

munchkin05

One day at a time! Slow and steady wins the race. Two sayings I've grown to love.