Sober and Hopeful.. Thankful and All That Jazz
Sober and Hopeful.. Thankful and All That Jazz
So, it has taken ALOT for me to put 30 days behind me but, here I am... sitting on top of it. And, for the first time during the holidays I am not waking up with a hangover just trying to "get through" the family time. This time I am enjoying the holidays. I am thankful for the children. I am actually enjoying this time of year rather then enduring it.
I was the worse kind of drunk... I honestly no kidding in all think I have 20 whilte chips from AA. And, why do I think I "got it" this time? Honestly? I think I am "getting it" because I have and am learning what surrender means. I have learning to hit my knees. I am learning what prayer is. I am learning to keep it all in prespective and to take this thing one day, one hour, one min, one second at a time.
I am learning to pick up the phone and reach out for help. I am learning it is okay to let my husband in when I don't have anything to hide. I am learning.
This is a slow process. I am grateful what it is teaching me. As I am grateful for the previous 19 failed attempts.
As someone in AA told me the other day "You are exactly where you are suppose to be..."
And tonight I have a cat at my side, a warm cup of coffee and I am waiting for Santa to come down that tree. The only present I need I have... and it is the gift of soberity I have given myself.
Best of luck to everyone this holiday season!
Saliena
I was the worse kind of drunk... I honestly no kidding in all think I have 20 whilte chips from AA. And, why do I think I "got it" this time? Honestly? I think I am "getting it" because I have and am learning what surrender means. I have learning to hit my knees. I am learning what prayer is. I am learning to keep it all in prespective and to take this thing one day, one hour, one min, one second at a time.
I am learning to pick up the phone and reach out for help. I am learning it is okay to let my husband in when I don't have anything to hide. I am learning.
This is a slow process. I am grateful what it is teaching me. As I am grateful for the previous 19 failed attempts.
As someone in AA told me the other day "You are exactly where you are suppose to be..."
And tonight I have a cat at my side, a warm cup of coffee and I am waiting for Santa to come down that tree. The only present I need I have... and it is the gift of soberity I have given myself.
Best of luck to everyone this holiday season!
Saliena
As someone in AA told me the other day "You are exactly where you are suppose to be..."
Oh absolutely...I say the same thing. We are all right where we are s'posed to be this second in the universe. We are all here for a reason.
Good Job.
And I didn't realize Santa comes down a tree now?!
Oh absolutely...I say the same thing. We are all right where we are s'posed to be this second in the universe. We are all here for a reason.
Good Job.
And I didn't realize Santa comes down a tree now?!
Saliena,
What a beautiful and inspiring post. I sometimes get ahead of myself and worry about drinking. Then I remind myself "one day at a time" and the anxiety lessens. Congratulations and Merry Christmas!
What a beautiful and inspiring post. I sometimes get ahead of myself and worry about drinking. Then I remind myself "one day at a time" and the anxiety lessens. Congratulations and Merry Christmas!
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