Hevyn

Very proud of you, Dave. Those first few days are so difficult, but you're making it.

Dave1969

...and I'm baaack! I haven't gotten rid of the bottles yet, and I haven't told the wife that I'm not a "normie" as you guys have called it. She has seen me slip before, but probably thinks it's okay, but I know now it's not.

I am doing good so far, but Ryan, you're right. So many things... I happen to like old B&W movies, and everyone is smoking (not a problem for me, fortunately) and drinking. Ugh. I walked past "the cabinet" to set the house alarm, and the voice started going off in my head. Noticed it, controlled it. Made a choice to move on and stay on target.

My plan is to stay on target for at least until the new year, and then tell the wife what my plans are and to ask for her support (which I know I'll have, she's awesome). That way, I'll know I'm all in and she'll know I'm serious.

Thanks, everyone.

Dave

Dee74

Dave

I remember quitting a lot of times and telling some people and not others - that way I always had an 'out'...and inevitably, being the drinker I was then, I used it.

are you waiting for New Years to see if you're all in, or waiting just in case you find out you're not?

I don't need an answer, but maybe it's something for you to consider yourself

D

dawnrunner

Good for you!!

Getting rid of the bottles was rather fun; it is a symbolic unloading of that burdensome weight. At least I enjoyed it: "Get the heck out of my life!"

Best wishes for a good today!

Dave1969

I guess I want to prove it to myself that I'm serious. This is pretty difficult for me. I had a hard time last night not picking it up. But here we are at Day 3. Let's see what the weekend brings. I'll probably be on here a lot. Thanks all.

RyanRed

I didnt tell anyone I was trying to get sober in my first 1-2 weeks. A part of me was scared to. For one I didn't want to acknowledge to anyone that I had a problem, and secondly if I screwed up and drank I didn't want to show failure. It also gave me the option to back out of what I was doing if I suddenly changed my mind. All these things were very dangerous choices I made, but deep down inside I was still struggling with never drinking again.

When I did start to tell people, it actually helped out tremendously. Not only was I finally starting to be honest with myself, but people actually praised me for my choice. I now also had eyes on me. Other peoples eyes on me served as a great tool as well. While staying sober for yourself is the most important thing, staying sober for others helps on that road to recovery as well.

-Ryan

neferkamichael

When I woke up from the last blackout I had I was handcuffed in a cop car rantin and ravin with a police officer treating to spray me with mase. Im 1 year 5 months sober, 96 days off crack. Honest if I cand quit anybody can quit.

Itchy

I remember you going through that Ryan! Good to see you here doing well.

Sapling

Let me get this straight...You gave up alcohol for 14 months and substituted crack for it? I have a hard time calling that sober....To each his own.

Dave1969

Thanks guys. All good tips, and I appreciate your comments especially, Ryan. I will keep on the straight and narrow, and have been learning to redirect myself when the voice starts talking.

Itchy

Dee, Ryan and all said it, and I will reiterate it. You said "I guess I want to prove it to myself that I'm serious."

Serious and wanting to finally put an end to the madness are the same thing. Are you saying you aren't sure if you want to quit or that you aren't sure if you can do it? I think that every one of us that made it for a significant period of sobriety after hitting our own different personal bottoms, had no trouble with those with a need to know knowing. See my wife and two grown boys were some of my biggest support along with my VA docs and private doc and my friends. I am convinced I would be dead today had it not been for my willingness to do whatever it took, with no reservations, to beat this into the ground.

Don't fall into the "conditional" traps of I will quit unless . . .
It is too hard.
I have to tell people I have a problem.
I have to go to a rehab to succeed.
I have to go to a hospital to detox.
There is alcohol around me.
Someone drinks in front of me.
I have a drinking trigger hit me.
I gain weight.
I lose weight.
My family stays.
My family leaves.
My job is stressful.
I lose my job.
I get cravings.

I you are willing to do "whatever it takes," you will make it.

Ellen36

Some great people on this thread! I had to chime in. Ryan--I loved your earlier description of your 36 hour binge and the dark abyss you called life. Wow. That rings true with me, although I don't believe I've gotten that low as of now. You mentioned those who quit for 2 weeks and start drinking aren't ready to quit. That would describe me, although 2 weeks would be a long time at this point. A few days is more like it. I have a hard time accepting that it will take a rock-bottom like you had to be determined enough to quit.

You are right....daily life itself is a trigger. I did everything in the evenings while drinking. Each daily task makes me think of it. Cooking, combing my daughter's hair, organizing, laundry, taking a shower, picking out clothes online...even being online. Everything.

Dave1969

Maybe I should have told her. She just came back from grocery shopping and bought me Sam Adams Winter Lager, was very excited that she had gotten me a "treat". Maybe I can tell her tonight and she/I can return it back to the store. {not going to make any excuses, not going to make any excuses, not going to make any excuses, not going to make any excuses}

Itchy

So? What happened Dave?

Dave1969

Well, started a new thread. It's Day 1 again, but I have talked to my wife and she is in complete support of me. Thanks for thinking of me.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ays-ahead.html

jen7916

Hi Dave and welcome to SR! I quit drinking cold turkey back in July and haven't had any relapses - as a matter of fact, I only have cravings (thoughts) now, and very little desire to actually drink (too many black outs, forgotten conversations, risky behaviors, etc) to go back to it.

Rest assured that it will be a tough road but you CAN quit if you really want to. Try and read some of the stories on this site when you feel the urges; they are some of the greatest supports and motivations for your abandonment of alcohol! Take good care and good luck!