NameTaken

Hi guys, I've been reading through the forums for a couple of days now and find it very inspirational. I'm a 19 year old college sophomore whose social life for the last couple of years has revolved around alcohol.

I'm coming to the realization that I can't drink like other people can. I don't necessarily drink to have a good time, rather to take away anxiety and generally love the feeling of being drunk. I could care less if other people were around. Recently, I find myself drinking heavily on the week nights, maybe only once, sometimes twice, and always get hammered on Fridays and Saturdays. Not only am I getting sick of waking up with my whole day ruined, but I feel so guilty about the drinking. Whenever I'm drunk, I'll screw over a lot of my friends, lie, and makes promises I'll never keep and I don't like being that person. As soon as a drop of alcohol enters my system, it's all I think about and all I'll do until I go to bed. I never have "just one drink", it's too big of a tease. I'll lie or cover up my drinking by whatever means it takes. For example, I visited my friend's college last weekend and we were drinking, but he's a 2-3 beer guy and that's it. I told him my brother was calling me, disappeared for an hour, and downed several beers. This is an example out of many.

To get to the point, it's hard being in college and seeing myself as a potential "alcohlic." Everyone does it, and half of the stories revole around "I'm so hungover right now" or "I got so messed up last night." My friends drink just as much as I do, but how I drink is totally different, as well as how it affects me. To do a little trial and error, I didn't drink last night and associated with another group of "minimal drinking" friends, and I had the best time I've had in awhile.

I guess my question/ venting is that it's all around my atmosphere and living life without alcohol for the foreseeable future is unimaginable right now. As well as defining the line between having a drinking problem and being an alcoholic.

Thanks guys

doggonecarl

I've read where folks drink heavily during certain phases in their life, such as college, then when the phase changes, so does their drinking. But if you have been reading through this forum you have probably read stories from folks who drank like you do when they were 19, didn't stop, the alcohol took over and here they are. That's why I'm here.

Why don't you try quitting for 30 days. If you can, without a struggle, you probably aren't an alcoholic. But if you can't go 30 days without drinking...then you will know more about your situation than you do now.

Dee74

Hi NameTaken

I'm glad to see you realise the reasons why you drink and the way you drink is different to most of your peers. No matter what you wanna call it, there are a lot of red flags in your post.

The task now is to decide what you gonna do about that

I know college is big on drinking culture but I knew many non drinkers there - and they were non drinkers for a variety of reasons.

Every campus I know of will have counselling for substance abuse and every campus has a recovery group presence.

Not drinking at college may involve you making a lot of changes, sure - but it's not as unimaginable as you think

D

Anna

Yeah, you will see many who were drinking like you are at your age, and years later they wish they had stopped before more damage was done.

You know that drinking is affecting you in a negative way and you have a chance to step away. Like Dee said, there are non-drinkers everywhere, and it can be done.

I hope you continue to read and post.

least

Welcome to the family. Good thing you recognize now that you may have a problem so you can do something about it before it really does ruin your life.

mattparadise

College and alcohol kind of mix in a certain way. Many people try drinking because they are coming of age. I like the advice given by another user about quitting for 30 days and see how it goes.

mwstylee

NameTaken- I know what it feels like to have that pressure to drink to be a normal college kid. I was just there a few years ago. Also what you said about faking the phone call to chug a few...I used to do something similar. Every week we would all be gathered in 1 friend's dorm to play some pong. For me, they weren't drinking fast enough and the pace wasn't getting me drunk enough. I routinely said I had to go to the bathroom, just to run up to my dorm 1 floor above and take a few shots. I felt there was something wrong about that.

I pregamed harder than anyone else before hitting the bars on weekends. Then I just ended up walking over to the campus bar every weekday after my last class. That didn't feel quite right either. Anyway, after graduating (how? I don't know) I had all this free time. I think you know the rest of the story. I really do wish I had stopped in college because years of my life have passed me and I barely remember much of it.

CRAZE

My heavy drinking started with college when I was 19 and kept right on until november 6 of this year. I'm now 36. My drinking has done a lot of damage in that time. As mentioned earlier a lot of folks binge drink hard in college then move on with normal lives and normal drinking habits. I too like the Idea of trying to quit for a month or so, since you have some concern with your drinking. If you find you can't do it maybe you need to look in to getting some help. It's a very good thing you're concerned about your drinking at such a young age and willing to consider that you may have a problem. I wish I had been.

wpainterw

I could have written this message 65 years ago. I could have said to others what you have said to us. I could have had the insight, the honesty, the wisdom, to sense what lay ahead and what I might be able to do about that. But I did not do these things. College was the beginning of my serious drinking and I drank for many of the reasons and in many of the ways you say you drink.
In being honest you have done what I wish I had done. If you deal with this issue in a constructive way you may avoid all the things which have happened to me. I shall not enumerate them but they are customary for all alcoholics. You will avoid the unhappiness, the guilt. And you will be happy, proud of yourself and admired by others.
On many campuses today there are groups to help with this problem, whether AA or otherwise. I hope you can find such a group for these things are much easier if you have companionship. And do stick around on this website. There are a lot of experienced and helpful people here. I wish you the very best of luck.

W.

Hevyn

NameTaken - It's so hard at 19 to come to the realization that you may be an alcoholic. If only I had done what you're doing! My entire life would have been so different. Like doggonecarl & wpainterw - I'm here because I didn't stop - and alcohol took over my life.

My answer was to use willpower to try and control my drinking. Many tragic events transpired before I finally was forced to admit there was no control once I had that first drink. In the end, I was drinking round the clock, and no amount did the job. I regret that I lived so much of my life in a haze. You're not going to let that happen! Be proud of yourself for seeing the light. We are here to listen and help.

wpainterw

The suggestion that if you can quit for 30 days and that if this does not make you nervous or uncomfortable, then "you're probably not an alcoholic" makes me a bit nervous and uncomfortable. I drank in college the way you say you drink in college. I was able to quit for 30 days, often a great deal more than that. Once I quit for seven years and for those seven years I did not feel nervous or uncomfortable. But I was a binge drinker. I'd say I was "cured" but I always went back to the alcohol eventually and over the years the situation got worse and worse. This went on for around 30 years.
Well with that experience, I can hardly accept the notion that if I could quit for 30 days and not feel nervous or uncomfortable I was not an "alcoholic". These names, even these "diagnoses" don't mean much compared to what happens in actual life. Each person may be a bit different. All I'm getting at is that this illness is more complex than it may seem and, considering the risks and the possible outcome it makes sense to be very careful.

W.

cuyootoo

It's not really normal to drink in college. Most young adults who are serious in college aren't drinking like that. Now is the time for you to stand out in terms of what you are capable of, if you keep drinking like that you really are doing yourself a disservice. Think about what you can do to set yourself above the rest now, and try to excel as much as you can. Now is the time for you to really stand out, do internships for college credit, do community and civic work. If you drink too much now you are really wasting your youth and you might not get another chance to go back. Binge drinking isn't what the really successful college crowd is doing, the ones that the big companies are looking to recruit.

CamilleBelle

I started drinking in high school, usually only on the weekends. Most of the time with friends, but sometimes just watching tv alone. Then in college, always socially for the 1st few years. But there was a reason to drink socially every night almost, and I would always want to attend everything. Once I graduated, and got a job, that "going out" every night wasn't do-able, so instead I'd just have wine alone a few nights a week (well my husband was home, but the drinking was all me), and then it became daily, and the wine sometimes became vodka. They call alcoholism a progressive disease, and I completely believe that it progressed for me. I'm 27 now and have realized, I am not a college drinker. I am an alcoholic. Maybe if you quit now it would be easier, before it totally takes control. Oh, I took 30 off in Feb of 2008 to prepare for surgery... Felt amazing... Then went out for St. patties day after I had recovered... think the longest I've gone since then is 5 days. So, that was my experience. Good luck with whatever you do though!

onlythetruth

NameTaken: The thing that stood out from me in your post is where you say you are lying and covering up your drinking....that you sneak off to drink alone. Maybe because that's how I was when I drank, I see this is a huge red flag. Looking back at my own college career, it was the sneaking off that was different from what my friends were doing. They were drinking an awful lot, to be sure, but in the end they could take it or leave it. Not me. I was the one with the bottle under my dorm room bed.

Just my two cents.

wpainterw

I have a hard time accepting the proposition that "it's not really normal to drink in college" Just talk to the college administrators and read some of the reports and statements they issue. Drinking has been and still is an enormous issue in many many colleges and if a person has the genetic or other makeup to become an alcoholic, this presents a significant challenge, to put it mildly. The overall temptation is to "go with the crowd" and not be "different". To come to terms with one's own vulnerability takes courage, character and bravery. As I said, I only wish I'd done that. My problem was that drinking was quite "normal", particularly on weekends, and I thought that I was "normal". I wasn't. I'm not. I survived somehow but sometimes I wonder that I did survive.
There has been a change since I went to college. Back in those days alcohol was the primary drug, perhaps even the exclusive drug. I knew no one who took marijuana, no one who did heroin or pills. This was in the late 1940's. All the other stuff came later for the most part. And today I'm told that the marijuana is a lot stronger than it was say 20 or 25 years ago. So that's changed. And a lot of it appears to be prevalent enough that abstinence does not seem to be the normal thing in many college communities.

W.

gaffo

The big beer companies are looking to recruit whoever they can get. I figure I've consumed almost 50,000 beers since college. What a terrible waste of money. College "Animal House" style drinking is a bad major!

wpainterw

I agree! A classic red flag. Just read the literature. Ask any experienced counselor. In my case it led to having a few drinks before the party started. This then led to having various supplies hidden around the house, often in very ingenious places! Drinking becomes a game- a deadly one since the drinker is bound to lose in the end.

W