SVSHE

This is my 1st Day on here and I am 39 hours into sobriety. I have enjoyed reading posts and sharing. I have been feeling optimistic and hopeful (I thought I heard Snow White singing in her wishing well). I actually ate something. I have been cruising.

until, like a half hour ago. I have a few had a few situations pop up. Via E-mail, Via Phone and I am thinking I need to Bury My Phone and Kill the power on the house.

Is there some kind of Bat Signal that I dont know about that I have somehow turned it on with my GOOD conscious effort to not drink today..NOW?

A Ex that you haven't heard from in a year suddenly calls??? I didnt answer it if, it was important he can leave a message. He didnt.

Whats that all about?

I wont elaborate on the other small incidents but, how does this work?

Is this another test? I understand the dynamics of what I think is happening. Life and its fine print. Its all I can do to keep myself from Driving off to the store. I am struggling. I dont get it. I felt the Song fade and walls go up. I am not going to drink. I want to fuss it out.

I am pulling out all my centering skills. I can picture every self help book I own in a little neat pile.

Not sure which is scarier the Angry frustrated withdrawal me or that OTHER THING I turn into.

I have more issues then playboy right now. But, I have not gotten in the car and I am still Sober.

flamingredhair

I had a weekend like that myself and I caved in. Looking back, I feel that the triggers were nothing but an excuse for me to drink. I didn't enjoy it either and regretted it almost immediately.

Dee74

I found a lot of things happened to me in my first few days and weeks too SVSHE.

At the time, I wondered half seriously about a conspiracy - looking back tho, I think I used alcohol so much and so often than simply facing any situation without it would be stressful for a little while.

Stick with it - the more we deal with sober, the easier things should get

D

yo466

My danger zone would always be 3-4 days after my last binge. I would say "this is the last time" and then something would set me off and I would go on another binge and the cycle would repeat itself.

Just take a few deep breaths, relax and just tell yourself that a drink is not going to make these stressful times go away. They'll still be there the next morning and you'll have a hangover to go with them.

MsJax

I think it's just life and things that really aren't a big deal (not saying your things aren't a big deal) may seem more noticeable at the beginning of sobriety. I agree with what yo said above, about the "danger zone". Don't let life's stressors be an excuse to drink. Don't let yourself down.

SVSHE

I will take Conspiracy! and isn't there something about traveling in threes?

Dee74

Check your house for two way mirrors too, lol.

D

SVSHE

LMAO! I have swept the house more than once. Thanks for your support it is just hard to rationalize or I should say get a perspective. I am coming off of a 4 litre a week Vodka snafu.

SVSHE

Oddly. I dont get Hangovers and a Binge/Good Bender is anything over 750ml in a 8 hr period. Thank you for your support

EmeraldRose

Since you've just quit 39 hours ago (and congratulations, by the way) your sense are heightened and raw. Everything will bother you that you didn't know could. Now you aren't supressed by the booze and have to deal with life's little idiosyncracies sober. You took the top layer off, you aren't numb now.
Stick with it, it will get better. If the phone bothers you turn it off for the night so you don't have to deal with it. Just stay here. That's what I did once I found this wonderful place.

Dee74

Seriously...I was an all day every day drinker by the end....it took me maybe a month to get a clear perspective on things, and even longer to trust that perspective.

You're doing well to have and to use that sense of humour so soon

D

SadRN

I agree- it's tough to get used to dealing with LIFE without the cushion of alcohol. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed, take it on day/night/hour/minute at a time. Just get through this next ___- without picking it up. Plus, stay on here and post- We're all pulling for you!

SVSHE

yes. My keys have been magically thrown into a field ( there is a tree I aim for its just to far to deal with in the dark with cows) and my phone has been disassembled. I understand. I have always been a "I got this" sort of person. I also know that Medically I may need support in the next 30 hours. Your so right. I am glad to be here.

gaffo

My entire life feels like a trigger sometimes. I've been sober for a month after drinking all the time for years. I guess it's getting better...yeah, hell yeah, it's getting better. This website really helps. Maybe Dee will put up the link to that "urge surfing" technique again. I thought it was helpful. Basically you just have to have faith that it will get better because it will. Just don't drink. Today I found myself in the beer section of the big box store feeling very overwhelmed, I ended up just bolting without purchasing anything! Knowing that if I screw up I'll reset my stupid addiction and double my misery has been sort of helpful. Good luck!

SVSHE

Thank You

soberlicious

LOL conspiracy...Things like that happened to me too but here's the thing-I realized I would have gotten that call from the ex on that day out of the blue whether I was drinking that day or not, it was not somehow an evil force out to get me or the universe testing me, but I was forever trying to assign some big deeper meaning to the things that were happening...hey, in the (alleged) words of Sigmund Freud "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" ha!

You did great by not drinking. Nothing is ever worth drinking over. Nothing.

It was stressful, but you got through it!

SVSHE

Its amazing isn't it. Its a Advertising Drunk Fest! I cant watch any shows, commercials. I feel like a Vampire. Your NOT Drinking and you ARE better. Thank You!

SVSHE

(Alleged)<<< I agree. Curse or Blessing not sure. I have always been the awkward pretty girl that preferred books to people and use to lift Anais Nin Diaries out of the Library in Jr. High because I could. I have a natural tendency to over think, expand over things that were Black or white in most cases.

Thank You. There is No Conspiracy or Alignment. Can I say "Bad Timing" For now? lol

eJoshua

I was in rehab for my majority of my first 45 days sober, so that provided all the drama I needed.

Actually it was kind of nice though, because when I checked out of rehab I left all that stuff in the building and came home to a brand new life practically.

sissy07

Wow, something told me to check out the forum before I got ready for work this morning......sychronicity? This thread was so insightful. Welcome to SVSHE to SR and to all of you that answered. I love starting the day like this....reading something that just so totally expresses how it is correctly. It is so nice not to feel alone anymore, even though I wish I didn't have to belong to the club - although I am beginning to think if I get through this being an alcoholic could actually be the best thing that ever happened to me, if that makes sense. I hope everyone has a great sober day. Thanks guys.