More prep for eventual sobriety!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
I read and educated myself and graduated with honors from a top university by "going in my own head"... and I have never even come close to smoking a cigarette, let alone doing any drugs... I have ADD, but alcohol is my issue, and I am seeing a professional. not a medical DR, but a PhD all the same. Sorry fuster, but I disagree with your post. Maybe I just don't understand what you are saying, but I'm quite content on the route I'm taking. thanks for taking the time to post. I hope you are doing well on your own recovery, if that is the case. Best of luck!
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Hey Cam,
I'll echo what others wrote, and suggest to you it is better to quit now, then to wait and put it off. Many people have done that and done that and done that...so on. People will generally keep moving back the dates they quit indefinitely.
However...hear me out. In March of 2010 I decided I needed to quit. I drank a lot almost everyday, but knew it had to end (a lotta reasons I won't get into here). So...I looked at my calendar. I had a lot of events and things like extra days off of work coming up over the next few weeks. I new, if I did "quit" I would end up drinking again on these extra days off. So...I picked a date a few weeks out as my quit date. In the meantime I found on-line support, and found other things for support. On April 11, 2010 (maybe April 12), I had my last drink and have been sober since. I consider April 12 my sober date, as I ended the night without drinks, and ended the night...SOBER. This was my first time quitting, and again, I have been sober since.
So...I still agree with others, and you should look at quitting now or soon. However, you have a plan. I had success with a similar plan (so far) to a lesser scale (I wasn't moving) and I am hopeful you can have success with whatever you decide.
Good luck!
I'll echo what others wrote, and suggest to you it is better to quit now, then to wait and put it off. Many people have done that and done that and done that...so on. People will generally keep moving back the dates they quit indefinitely.
However...hear me out. In March of 2010 I decided I needed to quit. I drank a lot almost everyday, but knew it had to end (a lotta reasons I won't get into here). So...I looked at my calendar. I had a lot of events and things like extra days off of work coming up over the next few weeks. I new, if I did "quit" I would end up drinking again on these extra days off. So...I picked a date a few weeks out as my quit date. In the meantime I found on-line support, and found other things for support. On April 11, 2010 (maybe April 12), I had my last drink and have been sober since. I consider April 12 my sober date, as I ended the night without drinks, and ended the night...SOBER. This was my first time quitting, and again, I have been sober since.
So...I still agree with others, and you should look at quitting now or soon. However, you have a plan. I had success with a similar plan (so far) to a lesser scale (I wasn't moving) and I am hopeful you can have success with whatever you decide.
Good luck!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
Sad suddenly
First night completely sober since Wednesday, and I cant turn my mind off!! SOOOO much to think about and to do! I think I am going to start a journal, cause it's super late and I cant sleep thinking about everything. Cats, Dogs and husband are out cold, so... no one to talk to either... I think I'll make popcorn and see if that helps! Was so positive/ okay earlier, and now on the break of tears... all the posts about quitting today got to me I guess. If only it were that easy...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Just do what any of us do camille - I know there's a lot to think about and wonder about...and maybe worry about too, but try and keep your focus on the day in hand.
It's easy to get overwhelmed - especially on day one - anxiety can run a bit rampant.
Just remember, there's no rule that says you have to solve all these problems this very minute
Hope you can get some sleep.
D
It's easy to get overwhelmed - especially on day one - anxiety can run a bit rampant.
Just remember, there's no rule that says you have to solve all these problems this very minute
Hope you can get some sleep.
D
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
camedown, I'll order it. I am not against the idea of the program, more of the face to face aspect... and on a totally completely separate topic that I MUST get out, my dog ripped the face off my MOST BELOVED christmas item that has been in my family since 1979 this morning! And I am a sucker for family mementos, so I was in tears before 10am. prob didnt help set the day up for success...
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Camille what ever happens just keep coming back.
The Big Book (free online) whilst quaint in it's terminology really spells out what it is "like". I found it really helpful in explaining what was happening once it stopped.
It is not until I tried to stop that I realised how tight the grip was, irrespective of external circumstances.
The Big Book (free online) whilst quaint in it's terminology really spells out what it is "like". I found it really helpful in explaining what was happening once it stopped.
It is not until I tried to stop that I realised how tight the grip was, irrespective of external circumstances.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
Camille ... I'm relatively new (Day 14), but I have learned that there are a variety of paths to sobriety. You know yourself best and I hope that your plan works as well as you anticipate.
I would caution you, however, to listen to the wisdom of others. Specifically that it's very common/easy to keep delaying that Day 1. I see what you're saying about wanting to start with a clean slate when you move, but don't be surprised if that move brings its own set of stresses that make drinking sound reasonable. If January first is the date, then stand firm. Don't push the date back because the time just isn't right.
Good luck and continue to share.
I would caution you, however, to listen to the wisdom of others. Specifically that it's very common/easy to keep delaying that Day 1. I see what you're saying about wanting to start with a clean slate when you move, but don't be surprised if that move brings its own set of stresses that make drinking sound reasonable. If January first is the date, then stand firm. Don't push the date back because the time just isn't right.
Good luck and continue to share.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
CamilleBelle:
I'm going to break ranks with others and support your decision to choose a quit date. No, that's not how I did it, but there's nothing wrong with doing it that way. In fact, if you look at what you're doing from the Stages of Change perspective (which is incorporated into the SMART Recovery program), you fit into the Preparation stage.
Stage #1: Pre-Contemplation
Unaware of problems associated with behavior. Certain that the positives of the behavior out- weigh the negative. Not interested in change. Unwilling to change. No intention to change.
Stage#2: Contemplation
Becomes aware of problems associated withbehavior. Ambivalent regarding positives and negatives. Explores the potential to change. Desires to change behavior but lacks confidence and commitment. Intends to change before 6 months.
Stage #3 Preparation
Accepts responsibility to change behavior. Evaluates and selects techniques for behavior. Develops a plan. Builds confidence and commitment. Intends to change within one month.
Stage #4: Action
Engages in self-directed behavior change effort. Gains new insights and develops new skills. Consciously chooses new behavior. Learns to overcome the tendencies for unwanted behavior. Active in action stage for less than six months.
Stage #5:Maintenance
Masters the ability to sustain new behavior with minimum effort. Establishes desired new behavior patterns and self-control. Remains alert to high-risk situations. Focus is on lapse prevention. Has changed behavior for six months.
Lapse or Relapse
This is an event, not a stage. May occur at any time. Personal distress or social pressures are allowed to interrupt the behavior change process. Temporary loss of progress which resumes at an earlier stage. Experience is educational to help prevent further recurrence.
Stage #6: Termination
Adopts new self-image consistent with desired behavior and lifestyle. Does not react to temptation in any situation. Expresses confidence and enjoys self-control. Appreciates healthier and happier life.
SMART RecoveryŽ | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse
I'm going to break ranks with others and support your decision to choose a quit date. No, that's not how I did it, but there's nothing wrong with doing it that way. In fact, if you look at what you're doing from the Stages of Change perspective (which is incorporated into the SMART Recovery program), you fit into the Preparation stage.
Stage #1: Pre-Contemplation
Unaware of problems associated with behavior. Certain that the positives of the behavior out- weigh the negative. Not interested in change. Unwilling to change. No intention to change.
Stage#2: Contemplation
Becomes aware of problems associated withbehavior. Ambivalent regarding positives and negatives. Explores the potential to change. Desires to change behavior but lacks confidence and commitment. Intends to change before 6 months.
Stage #3 Preparation
Accepts responsibility to change behavior. Evaluates and selects techniques for behavior. Develops a plan. Builds confidence and commitment. Intends to change within one month.
Stage #4: Action
Engages in self-directed behavior change effort. Gains new insights and develops new skills. Consciously chooses new behavior. Learns to overcome the tendencies for unwanted behavior. Active in action stage for less than six months.
Stage #5:Maintenance
Masters the ability to sustain new behavior with minimum effort. Establishes desired new behavior patterns and self-control. Remains alert to high-risk situations. Focus is on lapse prevention. Has changed behavior for six months.
Lapse or Relapse
This is an event, not a stage. May occur at any time. Personal distress or social pressures are allowed to interrupt the behavior change process. Temporary loss of progress which resumes at an earlier stage. Experience is educational to help prevent further recurrence.
Stage #6: Termination
Adopts new self-image consistent with desired behavior and lifestyle. Does not react to temptation in any situation. Expresses confidence and enjoys self-control. Appreciates healthier and happier life.
SMART RecoveryŽ | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I'm not an active advocate for AA but I did go my first few months after my out patient rehab. I'll just tell you my story and you can take it for what its worth.
When I quit I was in a little midwestern prairie town of about 1000 people. It was a small tunnel of rampant gossip and most everyone was related...somehow.
Insert me...alcoholic Jersey girl...I had no family there, husband and I separated, I was trying to make it alone but obviously needed help. So after a drinking incident that made me lose my new job I knew that everyone in town will be talking. So what is a girl to do? I swallowed my pride, I lowered my head, I entrusted with a former employee who ironically happens to be an alcoholic, too. She took me to AA. (I believe people are placed in your life for a reason.)
It was a small group and I knew all the faces. It was kind of scary yet exciting that I was in their 'club' and only we knew the secret handshake.
Outside of meetings was quiet, no one screamed AA from the hilltop. Even if people knew I was going, I knew I was doing the right thing and they certainly couldn't berate me for a realistic decision.
I had stopped going because of my work schedule and since moving I have not dove into the AA pool again -yet. I will eventually -in time. I feel that AA was there for me when I needed it most...we don't HAVE to keep doing everything we set out to do. Life is constant change...I really needed that relationship then, but now (not that I can't still use it) I feel comforted that it is there for me.
People have a problem with coming face to face with others in AA. I feel it is a good part of the admittance of even having a problem in the first place.
It kind of places a confirmation of the alcoholism and alot of people shy from this and only want to 'admit' it to their doctor. Personally, I'd rather talk to a recovering alcoholic than a doctor. Besides that, only you know when you relapse. You are still in a quiet denial and keeping recovery to yourself is safe and not reaching outside the box.
One thing I have realized through recovery...worry, discontent feelings and even stress is merely fear of the future.
Ever lie in bed worrying about something for hours only to come to find out it doesn't come to pass? Or it wasn't as bad as you 'worried' about? Yeah, I quit that. There is nothing I can do about situations that haven't happened yet -worrying does not change them only makes us more anxious.
So, the point of my story is...we, the alcoholic, need other alcoholics. It's simple as that. You are here, aren't you? *smile*
And I really don't think it matters when or how as long as you do it. But waiting builds anxiety.
When I quit I was in a little midwestern prairie town of about 1000 people. It was a small tunnel of rampant gossip and most everyone was related...somehow.
Insert me...alcoholic Jersey girl...I had no family there, husband and I separated, I was trying to make it alone but obviously needed help. So after a drinking incident that made me lose my new job I knew that everyone in town will be talking. So what is a girl to do? I swallowed my pride, I lowered my head, I entrusted with a former employee who ironically happens to be an alcoholic, too. She took me to AA. (I believe people are placed in your life for a reason.)
It was a small group and I knew all the faces. It was kind of scary yet exciting that I was in their 'club' and only we knew the secret handshake.
Outside of meetings was quiet, no one screamed AA from the hilltop. Even if people knew I was going, I knew I was doing the right thing and they certainly couldn't berate me for a realistic decision.
I had stopped going because of my work schedule and since moving I have not dove into the AA pool again -yet. I will eventually -in time. I feel that AA was there for me when I needed it most...we don't HAVE to keep doing everything we set out to do. Life is constant change...I really needed that relationship then, but now (not that I can't still use it) I feel comforted that it is there for me.
People have a problem with coming face to face with others in AA. I feel it is a good part of the admittance of even having a problem in the first place.
It kind of places a confirmation of the alcoholism and alot of people shy from this and only want to 'admit' it to their doctor. Personally, I'd rather talk to a recovering alcoholic than a doctor. Besides that, only you know when you relapse. You are still in a quiet denial and keeping recovery to yourself is safe and not reaching outside the box.
One thing I have realized through recovery...worry, discontent feelings and even stress is merely fear of the future.
Ever lie in bed worrying about something for hours only to come to find out it doesn't come to pass? Or it wasn't as bad as you 'worried' about? Yeah, I quit that. There is nothing I can do about situations that haven't happened yet -worrying does not change them only makes us more anxious.
So, the point of my story is...we, the alcoholic, need other alcoholics. It's simple as that. You are here, aren't you? *smile*
And I really don't think it matters when or how as long as you do it. But waiting builds anxiety.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 8
Hi Camille,
I have a huge library of books on recovery. I bought them about 5 years ago. Here I am on day 2 again. The difference this time? On Sunday I said, oh maybe I'll stop in two days since I have a large bottle of wine in the fridge left. Don't want to waste it. Then I picked myself up and went to the library and starting reading about tools for sober living. The most important one that helped me Sunday night was just don't drink the first drink. More importantly, if that seems too open ended...don't take your first drink for the next hour, or for the next 1/2 hour or for the next 15 minutes. I had to use the 15 minute one all night and I made it through the night. I poured out the large bottle this morning. There is never going to be a good time to start so might as well start now. I wish you much peace.
I have a huge library of books on recovery. I bought them about 5 years ago. Here I am on day 2 again. The difference this time? On Sunday I said, oh maybe I'll stop in two days since I have a large bottle of wine in the fridge left. Don't want to waste it. Then I picked myself up and went to the library and starting reading about tools for sober living. The most important one that helped me Sunday night was just don't drink the first drink. More importantly, if that seems too open ended...don't take your first drink for the next hour, or for the next 1/2 hour or for the next 15 minutes. I had to use the 15 minute one all night and I made it through the night. I poured out the large bottle this morning. There is never going to be a good time to start so might as well start now. I wish you much peace.
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