officious

I've been trying on and off, over the last year to handle my issues with alcohol. Trying to understand the wording of the 12 steps in a way I can relate to but to no avail.

I've never been to rehab, and my only experience with recovery is limited interaction with a family member and the meetings I've been to over the last year.

I'm kicking my self for it now; but a man who'd been sober for a long time tried to take me under his wing and while I initially appreciated it I reached this point where I just hated his interest in my recovery. I've lost his number, and I live in a different city (half way across the country from where I was). And while "I don't know what to do" I've found this forum.

I'm looking more to vent here, but I don't know if this is the appropriate venue.

But I do have a question for those who have acheived sobriety...did you need a sponsor? and how did you find your /meet your sponsor....hell can some one explain exactly what it means to be a sponsor and what your purpose is?

Dee74

I'm not in AA but I wanted to welcome you Officious

D

StPeteGrad

First - you're always welcome to AA.

The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking.

For me a sponsor is someone who I can look to as a mentor. In the case of AA I found someone who has a similar background, years of sobriety, and is working a program of recovery.

I'm on my second sponsor now. He was a guest speaker one night and told an amazing story. Several weeks later I new I wasn't moving forward at all in my recovery so I just asked him if he'd help me work the steps. We've since become very good friends and he always has something good to say - and keeps me balanced if I start to get too cocky (as alcoholics are prone to do).

The best way to find a sponsor? Go to meetings, and meetings at different places. Someone will certainly stick out at some point.

cuyootoo

I don't have a whole lot of sobriety this time, something like 26 days so far, and I haven't found another sponsor yet. It's been really difficult to find somebody that I can identify with. I have had 2 other sponsors in the past, both of whom weren't really a good fit for me. I don't blame them for my drinking though.

I am looking for a sponsor, they are just hard to find, and most of the meetings that I go to don't really tell me how to get a sponsor. So, I think if you can find a sponsor then that will be a special thing.

I think it's an important thing to actually be a sponsor, because according to the film, "My Name is BIll..." that's what got him sober, actually sponsoring Dr. Bob. It's probably more important to be a sponsor than a sponsee... who knows???

TheTinMan

First go to an AA meeting. Listen. Someone will say things that you really relate to. If you go to enough meetings you will find a sponsor.

Now that you have recognized someone you would like to sponsor you, go ask them a few questions.

Do you have a sponsor?
Does your sponsor have a sponsor?
When's the last time you and your sponsor went through the 12 steps together?
Would you be my sponsor?

keithj

The BB contains the specific directions for taking those Steps. I asked my first sponsor because he knew what those directions were, and he could share his own experience with taking those directions. He was one of the few people in the rooms that talked about the hopelessness of Step 1, and the spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps. He was a pretty hard-line AA guy, and it was much less important that I relate to him personally than it was that he knew how to work the program out of the book.

Surlyredhead

When I was first into recovery, I never really did find a sponsor that would fit the definition to most in AA. I had a friend who worked at the treatment center that I went through and eventually stayed thare and worked for my room and $75 a month. We became very good friends and talked about everything, it was like we were twins seperated at birth! Our lives were so similar it was scary. He had 18 months clean when we met, after about two years I said, "You know you are my sponsor don't you" he said "Yeah, I kinda figured"

Fast forward over 17 years and we are still the best of friends even though life happens and we don't see each other everyday, we do keep in touch often and when stuff happens, we are the quick to pick up the phone and call the other one, good, bad or inbetween.

People who sponsor others are very different in the way they mentor, if you meet someone who you don't feel comfortable with, don't give up, there is someone out there who will be a good fit into your recovery.

Cathy