Scared, but ready...I think????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Posts: 23
Scared, but ready...I think????
A little about me...I've been binge drinking beer since I was 16 and I'm now 43 so there's a bit of history there. Currently, I typically drink two times a week (Wednesday and Saturday) at a rate of 15 - 18 Budweisers per day. I know I have a problem as I have a very addictive personality, I've dabbled in other drugs but alcohol is my DOC. I've got some legal issues pending, a 2nd DWI and have made the decision that enough is enough.
The major problem that I'm feeling is that I'm freaking SCARED. I want this badly as I know it will make my life much more enjoyable for myself and my family (wife and 11 year old daughter). I'm looking for any type of support or words of wisdom as I want to get this right. I'm going to try to get to an AA meeting tomorrow to find some people that are in the same situation as me I can visit with.
This is the short and skinny as I don't want to bore everyone with a long winded post.
I look forward to my membership here as it looks like lots of good members and support.
Thanks,
Tommy
The major problem that I'm feeling is that I'm freaking SCARED. I want this badly as I know it will make my life much more enjoyable for myself and my family (wife and 11 year old daughter). I'm looking for any type of support or words of wisdom as I want to get this right. I'm going to try to get to an AA meeting tomorrow to find some people that are in the same situation as me I can visit with.
This is the short and skinny as I don't want to bore everyone with a long winded post.
I look forward to my membership here as it looks like lots of good members and support.
Thanks,
Tommy
Last edited by Tommy2; 11-01-2011 at 03:58 PM. Reason: edited title
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Tommy
I think everyone's scared - it can seem like such a monumental thing giving booze up, especially if it's been a central part of your life for years.
The good news is there's lot of people here who've done it, who understand how you feel, and who will give you lots of support and advice - you're not alone
Giving up the booze was the best thing I ever did - you're making a great decision Tommy
Welcome to SR
D
I think everyone's scared - it can seem like such a monumental thing giving booze up, especially if it's been a central part of your life for years.
The good news is there's lot of people here who've done it, who understand how you feel, and who will give you lots of support and advice - you're not alone
Giving up the booze was the best thing I ever did - you're making a great decision Tommy
Welcome to SR
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 879
Hi Tommy. Congratulations on deciding to live sober. We are the same age, & I too started drinking around age 16. I was a daily blackout drinker though, and have just over 7 months of sobriety. There are so many amazing contributors on this site. It helps me immensely & I usually feel more peaceful on a bad day just checking in here...
Best wishes to you
Best wishes to you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Posts: 23
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, it has made me feel better.
I have been really bummed tonight, kind of like I lost a best friend...my mind keeps dwelling on all the good times I've had at parties, camping, hunting and fishing, etc... It's been had to fathom never having another drink, but I think on the flip side how happy I will be all the time without alcohol in my life.
Unfortunatley, everyone I know drinks a lot...some of these people are best friends...is it possible to keep these friends and just not drink around them???
I'm so freaking confused right now...does it start to get easier sooner than later??? I sure hope so.
Thanks again for the comments, I appreciate them.
I have been really bummed tonight, kind of like I lost a best friend...my mind keeps dwelling on all the good times I've had at parties, camping, hunting and fishing, etc... It's been had to fathom never having another drink, but I think on the flip side how happy I will be all the time without alcohol in my life.
Unfortunatley, everyone I know drinks a lot...some of these people are best friends...is it possible to keep these friends and just not drink around them???
I'm so freaking confused right now...does it start to get easier sooner than later??? I sure hope so.
Thanks again for the comments, I appreciate them.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
Welcome Tommy....I know, so many questions and fears right now...all totally normal. Been there my friend. Try not to get too ahead of yourself with worrying. Right now try and concentrate on the fact that you've opened the door to a better life by reaching out. We all truly understand where you are right now.
"I have been really bummed tonight, kind of like I lost a best friend" - that "friend" has caused alot of misery...keep remembering that buddy.
Keep reading and posting - it really helped me
"I have been really bummed tonight, kind of like I lost a best friend" - that "friend" has caused alot of misery...keep remembering that buddy.
Keep reading and posting - it really helped me
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,962
Originally Posted by Tommy2
I have been really bummed tonight, kind of like I lost a best friend...my mind keeps dwelling on all the good times I've had at parties, camping, hunting and fishing, etc... It's been had to fathom never having another drink,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 223
Welcome Tommy! I'm glad you decided to join us. There are a lot of people here that have been where you are now. I'm only 4 months sober, but I can tell you that it does get a lot easier as time goes by. Best of luck to you and just remember we are here to listen whenever you need.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Tommy,
Welcome. I am 45, will be sober for two years in December. I totally understand the "what will my life be like without alcohol" - I felt that way too. All I can tell you is that for all that alcohol was in my life (huge) I wouldn't go back to drinking. What you can't tell from where you're at is how much negative impact alcohol has had on you physically and psychologically. I ended up reluctantly going to AA (reluctant as in "I may drink alot but I'm not like THAT") and am grateful I did. Quitting booze isn't easy, but its unquestionably worth it, and AA helped me through the rough patches. There are other options available, surf through SR and you'll find them. One thing I would recommend: pick up a copy of the book "Under the Influence", an $8 paperback - worth its weight in gold... really helped me understand what was going on physically in drinking and quitting, which is more involved than you probably appreciate, unless you are a Dr.
Most of all: Good luck - you won't regret this.
Welcome. I am 45, will be sober for two years in December. I totally understand the "what will my life be like without alcohol" - I felt that way too. All I can tell you is that for all that alcohol was in my life (huge) I wouldn't go back to drinking. What you can't tell from where you're at is how much negative impact alcohol has had on you physically and psychologically. I ended up reluctantly going to AA (reluctant as in "I may drink alot but I'm not like THAT") and am grateful I did. Quitting booze isn't easy, but its unquestionably worth it, and AA helped me through the rough patches. There are other options available, surf through SR and you'll find them. One thing I would recommend: pick up a copy of the book "Under the Influence", an $8 paperback - worth its weight in gold... really helped me understand what was going on physically in drinking and quitting, which is more involved than you probably appreciate, unless you are a Dr.
Most of all: Good luck - you won't regret this.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Tommy2 and welcome!
I got to the point where drinking was the main thing I looked forward to in my life, even as much as it made me suffer. It really was a huge deal to think about giving it up, but the sane part of me knew I was going to pay a huge price sooner or later.
It's OK to be scared (sad, angry, etc.), but get sober anyway. Staying in the moment really helps me a lot (rather than looking back or ahead). After a little practice, you may find it's really nice to wake up feeling good every day!
I got to the point where drinking was the main thing I looked forward to in my life, even as much as it made me suffer. It really was a huge deal to think about giving it up, but the sane part of me knew I was going to pay a huge price sooner or later.
It's OK to be scared (sad, angry, etc.), but get sober anyway. Staying in the moment really helps me a lot (rather than looking back or ahead). After a little practice, you may find it's really nice to wake up feeling good every day!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 163
tommy, alcohol can take A LOT away from you... you should be scared, very scared. Now is the best time to quit since you still have your freedom, your job, your family, and your friends. You could have hit and injured some one during your last dwi and then you would probably be a felon in jail right now.
Last edited by cuyootoo; 11-01-2011 at 08:32 PM. Reason: another thought
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 284
Welcome. For inspiration, I found I needed both the carrot (Sobriety is great!) and the stick (if you keep drinking, you'll die!) to stay sober. Not just one or the other.
So, sobriety rocks (carrot). Here's the stick: You may not be the only husband your wife will ever have, and if you keep drinking, she may very well get another. But you are the only father your daughter will ever have.
Total abstinence from alcohol is the only way.
So, sobriety rocks (carrot). Here's the stick: You may not be the only husband your wife will ever have, and if you keep drinking, she may very well get another. But you are the only father your daughter will ever have.
Total abstinence from alcohol is the only way.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Tommy. Welcome to SR.
I totally felt like I was losing my best friend. The idea of living without it seem absurd. How could I unwind after a stressful day without it? How could I enjoy good times with friends?
That's was all BS—it's an illusion created by the addiction. Life is much less stressful without it. And I enjoy everything more, especially spending time with my daughter. It takes time. But it does get better—a lot better. Believe in that and believe in yourself. You will be so grateful you took this leap of faith.
Glad you found SR. This place has been invaluable to me.
I totally felt like I was losing my best friend. The idea of living without it seem absurd. How could I unwind after a stressful day without it? How could I enjoy good times with friends?
That's was all BS—it's an illusion created by the addiction. Life is much less stressful without it. And I enjoy everything more, especially spending time with my daughter. It takes time. But it does get better—a lot better. Believe in that and believe in yourself. You will be so grateful you took this leap of faith.
Glad you found SR. This place has been invaluable to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Posts: 23
Some more really great words and advice, I appreciate it!!!
I wanted to go to an AA meeting today but I've been feeling a little apprehensive and nervous. I guess it's just the uncertanity but it's probably something I need to do as tonight is Wednesday and I usually drink beer to the point of blackout. Today I will focus on staying sober today, as so many of you have suggested. I will not worry about tomorrow until its time to worry about tomorrow.
Another thing that's been really bothering me is my legal issue. I was charged with 2nd DWI on 2/28/10 so as you can see were a few months from being two years. I have a good case as there's no evidence of probable cause, I got arrested in one county by another countys sheriffs office, and I didn't take any field or breath tests, as well as have a "Texas DWI Superlawyer" The courts just figured out that I dont have a blow device on my vehicle and have ordered it by 11/14/11, I am fine with that however what's really bothering me is how to explain this to my 11 yo daughter???
My wife and my daughter are my everything, I am going to stop the madness of drinking for me which will in turn benefit them, but I'm having a REAL hard time dealing with the embarrassment of a blow machine in my truck...on the good side my case is set for a jury trial in March so hopefully I'll have a good outcome with that.
One more question, are there any alternative groups to AA that anyone would recommend?
Everyone have a blessed day.
Tommy
I wanted to go to an AA meeting today but I've been feeling a little apprehensive and nervous. I guess it's just the uncertanity but it's probably something I need to do as tonight is Wednesday and I usually drink beer to the point of blackout. Today I will focus on staying sober today, as so many of you have suggested. I will not worry about tomorrow until its time to worry about tomorrow.
Another thing that's been really bothering me is my legal issue. I was charged with 2nd DWI on 2/28/10 so as you can see were a few months from being two years. I have a good case as there's no evidence of probable cause, I got arrested in one county by another countys sheriffs office, and I didn't take any field or breath tests, as well as have a "Texas DWI Superlawyer" The courts just figured out that I dont have a blow device on my vehicle and have ordered it by 11/14/11, I am fine with that however what's really bothering me is how to explain this to my 11 yo daughter???
My wife and my daughter are my everything, I am going to stop the madness of drinking for me which will in turn benefit them, but I'm having a REAL hard time dealing with the embarrassment of a blow machine in my truck...on the good side my case is set for a jury trial in March so hopefully I'll have a good outcome with that.
One more question, are there any alternative groups to AA that anyone would recommend?
Everyone have a blessed day.
Tommy
MINEr
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 505
Welcome Tommy, I'm 42 myself. Seems to be a popular age range to get sober. In my outpatient group through Kaiser, they mentioned Lifering, a non-secular recovery program. I went the AA route myself, and am very pleased with it. No matter what you decide to do, go to meetings often. And at least hit a first AA meeting, there is a lot of power in standing up in front of a group and saying those words. Take any advice they push on you in the meeting, they have a tremendous amount of experience getting people sober, more than any rehab clinic And if the God aspect of AA bugs you, keep in mind that AA's primary purpose is maintaining sobriety, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, comes second to that. I have an eighteen year old daughter, who I rarely see and lives across the country. If I had committed to a sober life earlier, things would be different, but as is, we are distant. Take the plunge now while the urge is in you. It is worth it. Best of luck man!!!
camedown
camedown
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 41
Hi Tommy! Welcome to the board! I'm 36 and on day 2. I went to my first AA meeting last night and it was great. No one will force you to talk - just go and listen to others. I did speak with a couple guys after the meeting and I felt comfortable enough with them to share that I can't picture not drinking budweisers while watching football with my buddies, etc. I also told them because I'm a musician I'm on stage alot in bars - I have a big gig coming up at the end of the month and told them how nervous I was about it. Their advice? - 'Today is Novemeber first. Let's just worry about November first.' EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Today is Nov 2nd - that's all I'm worrying about - and I'm going to another meeting tonight. If you can get to a meeting - go ahead and just listen. You'll be happy you went. Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Posts: 23
Thanks Camedown, makes complete sense to me...as a matter of fact I just got back from my first meeting. I really enjoyed it and look forward to returning tomorrow. It was great to hear others stories and know I'm not the only one dealing with this problem. And guys, I can't agree more with the fact of focus on today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Trying to think about the future has really been screwing me up, but I'm fine if I just think about today.
After the meeting I had a real nice conversation with a guy that has 14.5 years sobriety under his belt. That was really cool and I hope one day I can say I've got 14.5 years sobriety...in 14.5 years my daughter will be 26, I can only imagine what kind of relationship we'll have with me sober vs. not for all those years.
Again, I'm really happy I attended the meeting...I definitely have plans on going again tomorrow.
Thanks again,
Tommy
After the meeting I had a real nice conversation with a guy that has 14.5 years sobriety under his belt. That was really cool and I hope one day I can say I've got 14.5 years sobriety...in 14.5 years my daughter will be 26, I can only imagine what kind of relationship we'll have with me sober vs. not for all those years.
Again, I'm really happy I attended the meeting...I definitely have plans on going again tomorrow.
Thanks again,
Tommy
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