Lizbass60

Hello. I've lurking around here a for while decided to join after making the decision to free myself from the horror and destruction of alcohol... the last day-and-a-half have been -ummm- interesting and very, very hard. I spent yesterday in bed, drinking lots of fluids and taking clonidine for any high-blood pressure and to feel a little chill and sleepy. After a while I started noticing odd shapes and sizes of abstract things, then weird little movies playing behind my closed lids. Later on I started seeing things with me eyes open; a ball of ants that crawled across the ceiling and separated themselves, a spider and this morning bird flapping on top of globe. I hope they go away soon-at first I thought taking a drink might help but somehow I don't think so!

Other than that I'm not feeling too bad; not shaky anymore. I just have a backache near my kidney and I'm very fuzzy. I'm usually a fast, accurate typist even when tanked, but not today.

I'd had 20 years of sobriety before I made the monumentally stupid choice to start drinking 4 years ago. I course I thought I could handle it. Nope. I also have major depression, anxiety, OCD and recently diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Alcohol certainly didn't help that lot. At first it seemed fine but just kept getting worse and worse. Recently everything began collapsing-wrecked my car, actually not while drinking, got laid-off from my day job and the worst was being fired from a band I'd played in for twelve years; I was too unreliable. So now I have no income and little savings and I'm scared.

If any one could offer advice, encouragement, friendship-anything-that would be very kind. I hope to meet you soon.

Anna

I hope you talk to your dr or go to an ER. Detoxing from alcohol can be very dangerous.

There is lots of support here so I hope that you keep posting and reading.

I'm glad that you are back working on recovery.

PaperDolls

Welcome to SR Liz. Glad you found us!

Like Anna, I would suggest you speak with your doctor or get to the ER immediately. It is possible to die from alcohol withdrawal.

YVRguy

Go to the ER or Doc ASAP. Anna has it right , withdrawal can be very very dangerous

My prayers with you

UofI2008

Did not even read your post yet, but, go to the doctor immediately if you are having hallucinations. Detoxing is dangerous to do on your own!!!!

UofI2008

I know how you feel with the anxiety and OCD. I have been diagnosed with both. Keep doing good by yourself and getting sober. With 20 years of sobriety previously you know how much better life and our mental health get when we are away from the booze. I am sorry you fell down ,but, pull yourself back up and keep trying!

Lizbass60

Thanks for the advice; I laid down for a while and drank some gatorade and didn't see anymore nasties. I'll give my doctor a call. He's an addiction medicine specialist. Back feels better, typing's not as hard. Kinda jumpy, grinding my teeth. I think I'll try to eat a little something....thanks again.

Dee74

Another vote for the Dr, Liz.
Hallucinations of any kind need looking at IMO.

Welcome to SR
D

nvrbeentospain

Yes, doctor! Hallucinating is not good. Clonidine won't prevent you from having a seizure, which is the big, bad alcohol detox consequence.

Lizbass60

I called my doctor and he wrote a prescription for xanax and called it in to the pharmacy right down the street. I felt well enough to pick it up. No hallucinations yet today but I'm anxious; I kind of jump at any little thing. Ate a bit of egg salad and pineapple. My therapist called. She is glad I stopped drinking but worried.....

Today I got a certified letter from the IRS. Seems they want a great deal of money from me for back taxes- they're threatening to take my house if I don't pay all of it-18K- In a month. I almost rethought my decision to quit drinking but realized it wouldn't do any good...sometimes life does seem like a cosmic pile-on!

Thanks for your concerns; hope you are all well.

sugarbear1

Try to make payment arrangements with them.

best wishes on staying stopped. You can do it!

fragileflower

HUGS to you.....please stay in touch with the dr. Do you have anyone to take you the hospital in case you need the ER?

Don't think about anything else right now (IRS, money taxes, ugh). Stop. Take this one breath at a time. Keep in touch with the doctor. Are you alone? Is there anyone to take you to ER in case you feel worse?

Just worried about you. I know it's scary. I am on day 4. It gets better each day. You can make it through this. Please keep posting.

fragileflower

Boleo

I had the IRS threaten me not too long ago. What I did was call them and offered them 10% immediately and 2% a month till pay-off. They said YES so fast I felt like I might have gotten away with less.

ZenJen

Detoxing at home is scary; please take good care of yourself. Keep an eye on your pulse too! If that starts to get closer to 130 (a standing pulse) it's probably time to get to the ER.

Take care little one!

Lizbass60

I didn't hallucinate until right before I went bed, not as weird as last night; probably should have seen a doctor who was available instead of calling mine. Feeling a bit chilly though is the only other thing, not shivering. Pulse rate's low. Don't think I'll go to the ER but if think I do, I'll go. No one to drive tough. I hope I get my mind back soon! Going to chill and try watch a movie. Thanks for the concern. Headed if not to own doctor someone tomorrow.