anxiouspete

Hi,

I found this site a couple of days ago and thought i'd sign up. Never felt like going to a face to face meeting and this seems like a good way to get support and offer it to others.

I have been drinking heavily for the last 7 years, I'm in my late 20's now. I used to be able to get drunk on 6 bottles of stella, now it takes 10x500ml 5% cans to get me drunk. Not only was it costing me a lot of money but over the last year I have begun to notice mental and physical issues. My doctor has prescribed me with Paroxetine to deal with anxiety, this has helped but my anxiety is still there. My doctor knows I drink more than I should but I never admitted the extent of my drinking, he'd simply tell me I should cut down. I have put on huge amounts of weight due to the amount of lager drunk and the bad eating habits that are associated with drinking. I was barely functional in the mornings with brain fog and intense sweating, although I never really suffered hang overs in the traditional sense. After drinking, my liver felt sore. I would have spells of constantly itching.

3 days ago I decided enough was enough and stopped drinking. This is day 3 and the temptation to drink is getting worse. In the back of my head I'm thinking, maybe I'll have a few tonight and none tomorrow, I know in reality that won't happen and I'll continue it tomorrow. I am not sure if these feelings are cravings or not, I don't think I have any physical symptoms of needing alcohol, merely psychological needs for alcohol. I'm trying to keep myself busy and I'm doing lots of jobs around the house to keep me busy.

I don't seem to have had many withdrawal symptoms and was wondering if anyone else didn't have any symptoms? I am finding it a bit harder to sleep but still get to sleep within an hour. I also sweat a lot before sleeping, but I'm a sweaty person generally. I have had a few pains in my chest but again nothing major.

Time to hang another new door to keep me busy I think

northwoods

I know what your feeling Pete believe me! To help stay on track I keep thinking about how much better life was before I began to drink to excess. I'm really ashamed of myself for getting into this situation to be honest. I'm going to stick with it and there is no doubt in my mind that I will begin to feel better both mentally and physically in a short time. So will you! Stay focused and if your really feeling the temptation get some moral support from someone who understands what your going through. Life is to short to spend it being addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

Congratulations on Day 3!

It's always a good idea to talk to your dr before detoxing from alcohol because it can be dangerous. I did have physical symptoms at the beginning, but the mental issues were far more difficult. The thing is, alcoholism is a symptom and once we stop drinking, we need to deal with the underlying issues in our lives. Hopefully we can make changes and begin to recover.

simplex

Hey Pete,

I'm like you when I started trying to quit I didn't really have any physical symptoms, other than some slight shakiness. I also felt that my desire to drink was mostly psychological in nature. But I used this as an excuse mostly for a number of years. I would quit for a few days and not feel THAT different physically (mostly mental fog lifting etc.) and then justify to myself that it was not a problem in the first place. This went on for 3 to 4 years.

Deep down I knew that I was lying to myself and progressing. Eventually it got to the point where when I got drunk (which was every time I drank) all I could talk about was how I needed to stop drinking and get so full of self pity that no amount of booze could wash it away. It just wasn't fun anymore.

I had to make a decision to stay stopped and realize deep down that one drink was just an illusion for me. Trust me I tried everything under the sun. Even now my disease just sort of said, "did you REALLY try everything under the sun?" Hah!!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that regardless of whether it's physical need or psychological in nature (I believe the two are inseparable) the reality is that to stay stopped we can't pick up that first drink. It just feeds the never ending cycle. That's where having a plan of recovery comes in, to avoid that first drink and put us in a position to stay sober. Best of luck it gets better everyday!

iliveforyou

Hi Pete and welcome to SR - a very supportive, understanding and helpful place to be. Congrats on Day 3 - that is wonderful!!

It was so important to keep busy in the beginning for me but it will get easier as the days pass. Picking up the drink will do nothing but set you back - you can do this!!

Keep us updated

-Jess

Scolova

Welcome pete,
I knew I had a problem with drinking for many years and beer was my poison for the last 10 (I'm 40). I'd also down over 10 pints a night. Just this year I found this forum and read so many stories like my own and began to get myself sober. I've had many relapses this year and every time I go through withdraw is a hell that I know I put myself through and understand the "relief" that the drink brings is truly not worth any of that. Do your best!, if you slip? don't quit!, don't hold resentment against yourself.... Get right back at it (sobriety) again. Learn from what has worked and what has not.
Congrats and Best wishes.

anxiouspete

Thanks for your messages of support. It's latish evening here in the UK and I didn't drink so it looks like it's another day under my belt

sugarbear1

Meds don't work right while drinking heavily.

Height, weight, amount of alcohol will effect withdrawl, + your meds, please see a doctor!

Dee74

Hi Pete

There are physical cravings and mental ones, in my experience.

I would last about 3 days too - I just felt so uncomfortable not drinking.
Drinking was a daily part of my life for 20 years, so it makes sense really.

You can get through that - it's not an easy experience but it's possible.
this technique helped me - it might help you too

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Support really helped me - it was important for me to realise I wasn't alone.

If you find you need more than SR, I hope you'll look at some other support options too - whether it's AA or some other group, or counselling, or whatever

Stick with it Pete
D
D

anxiouspete

BUMP

So its been almost 5 years to the day since my last post.

Reading back on my first post I can't remember how long I went sober, it wouldn't have been that long. I have given it another go a few times since then, the most successful being sober for around 20 days 2 years ago. Last year I managed a 6-7 day stretch I think.

Strangely I always seem to try to go sober around this time of year, I can't work out whether it is coincidence or that there is something in my subconscious that is triggering the attempts.

So this time I have added reasons to try and remain sober. I was diagnosed with Diabetes just over a year ago. I did start to eat much more healthily and eliminated all chocolate and sugar (with the exception of the alcohol). Part of being diabetic is much more scrutiny from my doctor. I have had various blood tests and other non evasive tests, my latest test showed elevated levels of something with my liver. My doctor knows I drink a lot but I have always hidden the actual truth. My blood sugar levels are generally good but I have been told that I must diet and visit again in a month.

I have always been a so called functioning alcoholic, I have held down a well paid job and done pretty well with it. Over the last few years I have always wanted to get out of work early so that I could start drinking, I would normally finish at five but my job is such that I am often out on the road so I would often make excuses to get home early. I have been drinking on average 8-9 520ml bottles of 5.2% lager and sometimes a 75cl bottle of wine to boot. I worked out that I was spending around £650-£800 a month on drink.

My sleep has been inconsistent since being sober, I know that is to be expected. It often takes me 90 minutes or so to get to sleep. I feel pretty good in the morning and would crave a sleep in but that is not possible with a young child.

Around mid day I start to think about the plans for the rest of the day. When I was drinking I would often want to plan ahead as buying the quantity of beer I was drinking on a daily basis caused some issues. I never bought from one place, I would go to 3 or 4 different shops as I didn't want to raise questions. Then there was getting the beer cold in time for beer'o'clock (4pm). On my days off I would pick my son from school so I would generally want to have done all the preparing by then.

I still get the feelings around mid day about where I should go today to get the beer, only at the moment I don't buy the beer. In my back of my mind I feel like I am wasting the evening by not drinking. I feel like its a lost opportunity to get drunk. My strategy at the moment is to eat dinner at a normal time, I would often eat around 9-10pm and fall asleep almost as soon as I had eaten. Once I have eaten I feel no cravings whatsoever. I can get on with my evening and then comes the trouble of sleeping.

I feel very lathargic during the days, I go to sleep thinking about what jobs I should do the next day, the next day comes and I don't bother.

Anyway I guess I will try to stick around a bit longer than last time. I often lurk and read other peoples stories whilst trying to get to sleep. It is good to know that I am not the only one going through this. I just wish the depression and mood swings would bugger off.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk AP

Berrybean

So,have you made a plan yet? Is it different to the last one? If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery .

doggonecarl

Hope so. Join the June newcomers class for support and accountability. And I second the suggestion for a recovery plan. At some point that "voice" is going to tell you a beer is a good idea and your decision to get sober it likely to fly out the window...unless you are prepared and have a strategy in place.

anxiouspete

Yes a plan is a good idea, but what does a plan look like?

Today is a big test, day 7, and we are going to have a BBQ, the weather is good and I am getting the urges.

August252015

I'm so sorry to hear that your story is much the same as this time last year. I hope you will get a plan and stick with it, for yourself and your family. So many of us can give you suggestions about what to do, but first you have to decide to quit.

Full stop.

Good luck.

doggonecarl

One thing my plan had in it...NO BIG TESTS early in sobriety.

But if you intend on going, you better plan how you are going to deal with the urges. Alternative non-alcoholic drinks, accountability with your partner to not drink, an escape route if the urges get too strong.