I'm a Newbie
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 6
I'm a Newbie 
Almost 30 days sober and I guess I'm still feeling the withdrawl of the alcohol and drugs... Always been a mixer.. This is my 4th time in AA and view it completely different this time. I always believed in the past that it was a willpower thing, but I know today that it is not. I have drank for 20 years and it was just that oneday that I sat on the couch and really contemplated suicide. It scared the hell out of me. I was jobless, the state took both of my kids a year ago and I was just unhappy with myself. I didnt want to kill myself but at the same time didn't want to myself. I had pushed myself in a corner so to speak, so I got off the couch and went into a meeting and haven't looked back. Luckily I know alot of ppl in the rooms because of my battle in the past with this disease so I got a sponsor working the steps. Sure I really have more bad days than good days right now as far as the foggy head and just not knowing where to place the emotions I'm feeling, but I am sober and gettin to know myself and that in itself is a miracle, trully
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Welcome from another 'Bama resident. Roll Tide! (or War Eagle?).
I know where you are coming from, the "jumping off point" that the BB talks about. I've been in and out of AA a lot too. I make it over that direction every now and then on business. Never been to an AA meeting there though.
Keep posting, there is almost always someone around - we are on 6 continents.
I know where you are coming from, the "jumping off point" that the BB talks about. I've been in and out of AA a lot too. I make it over that direction every now and then on business. Never been to an AA meeting there though.
Keep posting, there is almost always someone around - we are on 6 continents.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Well congratulations on being 30 days sober 
I myself am a month sober and have been trying soooo hard to stay sober for 3 years now. It's great to hear you haven't looked back as you joined AA once again. lol I was just reading your post when I saw an AA Ad on the tv here beside me I always think where I would be if AA didn't exist. Thank god for Bill and Bob Well keep going forward and live one day at atime. I find that this saying helps me everyday and I started to not really count the days of being sober. Just living in the moment is a great thing.I use to fret about this and that of the past and future. But I find it keeps me sane by focusing on today I don't mean to sound like Im preaching AA or anything. Just this advice I have finally taken in and I am willing to help others going through this like me this site alone gave me a huge hope that I can manage my disease and really keep sober this time around. So keep a smile on your face and be happy your sober You aren't the real you when you use and drink. I discovered my two personalities from a sad email from my mother for the first time where when I was drunk I assumed I was the real me still. She compared the Sober Chris to Drunk Chris and the Drunk Chris sounded so aweful and I cringed up when I read everything about him and knew it was true. Sober Chris... Me lol I prefer more because I know how I am sober and when drunk I say and do things I'd never do sober. Anyways I could type forever lol Wish you another happy 24 hours
I myself am a month sober and have been trying soooo hard to stay sober for 3 years now. It's great to hear you haven't looked back as you joined AA once again. lol I was just reading your post when I saw an AA Ad on the tv here beside me I always think where I would be if AA didn't exist. Thank god for Bill and Bob Well keep going forward and live one day at atime. I find that this saying helps me everyday and I started to not really count the days of being sober. Just living in the moment is a great thing.I use to fret about this and that of the past and future. But I find it keeps me sane by focusing on today I don't mean to sound like Im preaching AA or anything. Just this advice I have finally taken in and I am willing to help others going through this like me this site alone gave me a huge hope that I can manage my disease and really keep sober this time around. So keep a smile on your face and be happy your sober You aren't the real you when you use and drink. I discovered my two personalities from a sad email from my mother for the first time where when I was drunk I assumed I was the real me still. She compared the Sober Chris to Drunk Chris and the Drunk Chris sounded so aweful and I cringed up when I read everything about him and knew it was true. Sober Chris... Me lol I prefer more because I know how I am sober and when drunk I say and do things I'd never do sober. Anyways I could type forever lol Wish you another happy 24 hours 
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hello hw2011! Welcome to the family. You sound ready to leave your old, sick life behind. This is a wonderful place to share how you're feeling - you're not alone anymore.
I tried to make it a willpower thing for many years. I clung to the idea that I could have one or two drinks. It never happened. One led to 20 - and in the end, I was drinking all day & couldn't make a move without it. When I posted those things on SR, no one was shocked or horrified - they'd all been where I had. I wasn't alone with my nightmare anymore. That's when I began to heal. I hope you'll feel the same. So glad you are here.
I tried to make it a willpower thing for many years. I clung to the idea that I could have one or two drinks. It never happened. One led to 20 - and in the end, I was drinking all day & couldn't make a move without it. When I posted those things on SR, no one was shocked or horrified - they'd all been where I had. I wasn't alone with my nightmare anymore. That's when I began to heal. I hope you'll feel the same. So glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by hw2011 
I am originally from Mobile, I miss it alot sometimes. The meetings are awesome here, they have a great fellowship... Thanks
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 6
Thanks to all the responses.... Unfortunately I "slipped" on taking lortabs this past Sunday, but staying in recovery. I had a drug test that Monday... Somehow by the grace of my HP I passed the test that in itself is a miracle... Still going to meetings and doing the next right thing. This has not so much as discouraged me but has made me look even deeper within myself as I knew and know I have alot to work out in myself. ALOT more than I had originally thought. Anyway so glad to be here. @ dgillz I will def. pm u to go to a meeting when I make my way down.... As for this slip relapse whatever I'm just looking to this day and keeping in this moment thats really all I can do. Thanx again!
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